3 topics: actions of prophet Mohammed(peace be upon him), thoughts and masterbation

[anonymous]

3 topics together so I do not have to make 3 separate threads


I understand a lot of the actions that the prophet did/said are beneficial (health, society) but my question is, when you do this...do you in a sense lose your own identity and thus you may be considered a fake person? Fake meaning, you are simply imitating someone else and not being true to yourself or God.
I am confused about this.

Now, about masturbation ..I have been struggling with this. I started way back in 2001, every single night(at this time I did not know it was forbidding in Islam). A couple of years ago I first heard it was forbiddin in Islam but I was skeptical because of how I had read from doctors...ect that masturbation is natural and gets toxins out of the body(plus when I started, I had no idea what masturbation was, it just came all of a sudden without seeing or hearing anything about it.)

I have stopped before, a week, then go back to doing it. This has happened 3 times. I have read the thread about it here and I keep needing to read it every-time.


I have bad thoughts in my mind sometimes when I pray(God doesn't accept your prayers, you are doing it wrong, you so not need to worship...ect) Also, when I do sin(masturbation) I feel I cannot pray because that would be hypocritical of me and God won't accept it because I keep doing this sin.


Thanks for reading.

 

[anonymous]

Thanks for approval

 

[Muslim Woman]

I understand a lot of the actions that the prophet did/said are beneficial (health, society) but my question is, when you do this...do you in a sense lose your own identity

can u give an example ? How we can lose our identity if try to follow the Prophet pbuh ?

and thus you may be considered a fake person?

In sha Allah , we will be considered as good Muslims because Allah told us to follow His Prophet pbuh.

I feel I cannot pray because that would be hypocritical of me and God won't accept it because I keep doing this sin.


.

this is a trap from satan . Never miss ur salat , prayer with the fear that it won't be accepted . Allah is ready to forgive us ; so if u miss salat because of the sin u committed , it means u become more sinner . When u do something bad , offer repentance asap , give charity , do some good works as good deeds erase sins .

To stay away from ur bad habit , don't watch and read porn , keep fasting each alternate day and ask Allah to help u .

 

[Alpha Dude]

Regarding your identity - everything that you have ever been exposed to has moulded your character to what it is now. You are not born with a unique identity, you are a product of your environment.

Islam has set the bar, the best of examples is Prophet Muhammad SallalahuAlaiheWassalam. It makes sense to wash down all the negative influences on your character to date and replace it with the positive ones.

 

[anonymous]

can u give an example ? How we can lose our identity if try to follow the Prophet pbuh ?

What I am saying is, I may be confused about it. Does it mean if Mohamed's (pbuh) favorite food is fries then guess what....that's our favorite food too..

Like people who see someone use phrases/words and then they start using it too to look smart even though they have no idea what the phrase/word means..

or is it mainly the religious,diet,attitude(character), and grooming stuff(which I understand it then)??

I will try and do much better with salat and not doing the bad habit..just takes time.

 

[ardianto]

What I am saying is, I may be confused about it. Does it mean if Mohamed's (pbuh) favorite food is fries then guess what....that's our favorite food too..

Like people who see someone use phrases/words and then they start using it too to look smart even though they have no idea what the phrase/word means..

or is it mainly the religious,diet,attitude(character), and grooming stuff(which I understand it then)??

I will try and do much better with salat and not doing the bad habit..just takes time.

Ever ate nasi padang? (padang rice). This is dish from Minang, Indonesia. It's delicious, and more enjoyable if we eat it with our hand, not spoon.

Did Rasulullah (saw) ever ate nasi padang?. No!. So, If we like nasi padang, is it means we against sunnah?. No!. Even we can follow sunnah through eat nasi padang. Simple, just use our three fingers when we eat it, like Rasulullah (saw) did when he was eating his favorite foods.

Anon, the way to follow sunnah and avoid bidah is not with riding camel and avoid riding car like some people in internet said.

;D

Frankly, I'm not a "talibul ilm" who learn deep Islamic knowledge. I'm just a lay Muslim, but Alhamdulillah I learned Islam direct from Islamic teachers, since I was kid.

What is sunnah and how to follow sunnah are the first lessons which taught to me, together with read Qur'an and how to salah. Bid'ah was the next lesson that I learned, continued with other lesson like basic fiqh, basic sharia, etc. Yes, only basic, but at least, I have little knowledge. And the most important is, I learned Islam through "understanding".

This is the difference between me and some youths nowadays who learn Islam through "memorization", and maybe not with sit in front of Islamic teachers, but from internet. Learn Islam through memorization make them like parrots that like to talk without understand what they are talking about.

Ignore those who talk without knowledge. And if you can, learn Islam from Islamic teacher who will guide you in learn Islam through understanding.

 

[Abdul Fattah]

Aselam aleykum

On the issue of identity.
- It is something that many people struggle with. First of all, you should know that there's a diffrence between fard and sunnah. And this diffrence exists for a reason. Within some groups we sometimes feel peer pressure to do as much of the sunnah as possible. And while on one hand that's good, it can indeed become a burdon which is to much to wear and it feels exactly as you described, it feels like you are denied an identity, and opinion, a taste. Sometimes it might not even be peer pressure, but just your own good intentions. But remember in the time Of the Prophet, people were discouraged to ask to many questions as to what is allowed or not, because religion would become to hard to bear.
- Another cause for this, is that some people in their enthusiasm sometimes try to copy the actions/opinions of the Prophet peace be upon him that they see in any hadeeth which they come across to. However if you actually study usool fiqh, you'll see that all great scholars didn't just follow each hadeeth, even when it is a sahih hadeeth. Each school had their own rules and criteria that needed to be met before a fatwa could be made.
- Finally a third problem, some people have this idea that in every choice we have, there is always one option which is religiously speaking the best path. This idea is false. there are many issues in which you are allowed various options. And every one of the four schools of fiqh allrecognised that it's perfectly fine to follow the other three. There's this common misunderstanding spreading around that of each issue in which they disagree only one is "right". And that the diffrences in opinion come from not all of them having the same resources and acces to hadeeths. This is also false, most of the diffrence in opinion, come from diffrence in opinion regarding usool fiqh. They arrive at a diffrent point of view because they use a diffrent methodology. Not because they start from a diffrent place. And it is not cast in stone which methodology is "most true". Therefor it is assumed that all four are accapteble, and that Allah subhana wa ta'ala will accept either way of us. But of course, we don't know, and allah subhana wa ta'ala knows best.

On the issue of prayer and insincerity
This is a common "trick" from shaytaan. And it can be used in a million diffrent ways. If you do this sin, you shouldn't bother keeping away from that sin, if you fail to do this, you shouldn't try to do that. In the end of the line there's nothing you can do anymore out of fear of hypocracy. The reality is, that prayer is an obligation, and you have to do it regardless of what sins you have! Hypocracy would be, to tell other people to pray, and then not pray yourself. Don't allow Shaytaan to "hijack" that term hypocracy, to give it a diffrent meaning. And never be afraid to do good when you can, or to avoid evil when you can.

On the issue of stopping a habit
You can't expect to give up on a powerfull addiction over night just by mere willpower. Some points to think about.
- Are you convinced that it is sinfull? Do you understand why? Do you believe in it fully, or does part of you still have doubts?
- Are you trying to do it by yourself, or did you make dua to Allah that he helps/guide you trough it?
- do you want to stop with every last bone of your body, or have you convinced yourself rationally and are surpressing yoru desires? You can't keep up fighting yourself. If you want to change something in your life, the desire to change has to have a strong root in your emotional side as well, because if it's only coming from your rational side, and fighting your emotions; you'll lose the fight eventually.

 

[anonymous]

Thanks that last post helped a lot. About the bad habit of masterbation, I know its sinful, I understand why and myself think its disgusting .but being a virgin and someone who has never touched a woman..it's just hard, it's an urge that I try and fight off. I know for a fact if I got married I would never do it again but I am not getting married JUST so I can stop doing that...I need the willpower!

 

[Abdul Fattah]

Aselam aleykum
It's dangerous what you just said; "I know for a fact...". Well besides the issue of only Allah subhana wa tala knowing the future. There's a second issue. If you have an addiction that you want to kick, a mistake that many people make is to link that addiction to another thing. If I have this, then I'll do that. The truth of the matter is, that your addiction is seperate from all the "if's" you can imagine. If you really want to stop an addiction, then you'll have to figure out the cause of it. Because if you don't take away the cause, chances are you'll still have the addiction when you're married. What if for example your wife has a cold, and is no mood, or it's that time of the month, or you had a fight, or all of these things one after the other, and you haven't had sex for weeks. Will you simply demand it from your wife? I mean, I know that in Islam a couple is not to refuse the sexual needs of the other, but people are weak, and to push your wife to have sex despite her not being in the mood is a good way to kill all the love out of a relationship. Or what about when you have a little baby that's crying all the times. That only sleeps when you hold it in your arms, and that cries whenever you put it into bed? So what will you do then?

My point is, if you can't break it know, what makes you think you'll be able to break it then?