Brothers - Would you marry a Revert or Women from the People of the Book?

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Brothers - Would you marry a Revert or a Woman from the People of the Book?

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Abu Loren

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As'alaamu Alaikkum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu

To coincide with the other poll for the sisters this is for the brothers.

Brothers - Would you marry a Revert or a woman from the People of the Book? This is allowed by the way, if anybody is doubting.

Please when giving answers be honest as it is the best policy.
 
Abu Loren said:
As'alaamu Alaikkum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu

To coincide with the other poll for the sisters this is for the brothers.

Brothers - Would you marry a Revert or a woman from the People of the Book? This is allowed by the way, if anybody is doubting.

Please when giving answers be honest as it is the best policy.
Click to expand...


One wonders how many of the women of today that say they are christian or jews, would actually be considered to be from 'the people of the book' mentioned in the Qur'an?
 
:sl:

i think at this point, being a revert, i would prefer a revert. i was married to a nice Somalian sister, but she had many Somali customs verses Islamic customs. over the course of a few years, she realized and made a lot of changes.

i know some other Somali sisters, and while they mean well, they try to get you to adopt Somali customs instead of Islamic ones.

i speak from experience as well, that the Somali men can hold quite a few prejudices as well. the Imam of my wife's tribe told her that "they" thought that maybe i was a spy instead of a genuine revert. :raging: actually, because of my study of religion, i was quite popular and hold many discussions with Imams and Daiyees who travel the world. yet when the sister and i wanted to get married, "they" tried to discourage her because "Americans" are evil. "they told her that she'd be abused or killed! ^o)

people that are born Muslim tend to think that they "know" more than you, even those that don't study. a revert has the advantage that we can easily avoid all the baggage that isn't Islam.

so, with all that in mind, i think it would be better to find a revert and let her learn at her own pace.

then again, maybe i can find a nice Jewish girl!!! ;D

ma salaama
 
YusufNoor said:
people that are born Muslim tend to think that they "know" more than you, even those that don't study. a revert has the advantage that we can easily avoid all the baggage that isn't Islam.
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I don't know how old you are bro but more wiser words have not been said on this forum yet.
 
Abu Loren said:
As'alaamu Alaikkum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu

To coincide with the other poll for the sisters this is for the brothers.

Brothers - Would you marry a Revert or a woman from the People of the Book? This is allowed by the way, if anybody is doubting.

Please when giving answers be honest as it is the best policy.
Click to expand...

Why only a revert woman from the people of the book?

Any revert is good to marry bro... why only make the distinction from the people of the book, namely Yahud or Nasari? Seems weird and very strange. A Hindu could revert to Islam, so could an atheist, so could anyone really... please clarify in greater detail what you intended with your post.

Scimi
 
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I don't know if the question is only for those who were born to Muslim parents and who were raised to be practicing Muslims as I am a convert from Christianity.

Actually that is 2 different questions. I did marry a Christian who later became a Muslim, but I really don't think I would ever marry either a Christian or a Jew if I became single again. I would marry a Muslimah whether she had converted to Islam or was raised as a Muslim.

Is it reasonable to presume that the Christians during the 7th century were somehow dramatically different from Christians today? I would say that Heraclius most likely had beliefs consistent with the modern Roman Catholic Church. There is even marked similarity between the Catholic and Protestant beliefs.
 
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not being funny but the poll is waaay off... no i would not marry a woman from Jewish or Christian religions... but I would marry a revert as I am planning to... why have you placed them in the same cat? that's hardly gonna give anyone an accurate reading from a poll now is it?

Please place more thought into your posts brother Abu Loren

Scimi
 
Id consider it but it would pose problems with the family. So I generally tend to stay clear of everything that may lead to even a slight conflict with my parents.......I understand they are flawed in their way of thinking but it doesn't mean I have to go out of my way to find someone, just to prove my point to them. I want my parents blessing in my marriage and thus I'm quite happy marrying a person who is from a similar cultural understanding to myself.​

 
Well said bro Iceee, i used to think the same - until after two broken arranged marriage engagements and some very BIG troubles in the community with me finding a girl, and me reaching the age of 37 now, i think i have earnt the chance to be happy on my own terms in sha Allah.

my mother is cool with it, but my father is a bit dubious about it - however, he knows that with the amount of white hairs in my beard and head, and that slightly balding patch on my crown - it's time he stopped his dribble or he'll never have grand kids :D

Scimi
 
Scimitar said:
not being funny but the poll is waaay off... no i would not marry a woman from Jewish or Christian religions... but I would marry a revert as I am planning to... why have you placed them in the same cat? that's hardly gonna give anyone an accurate reading from a poll now is it?

Please place more thought into your posts brother Abu Loren

Scimi
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Actually bro what I meant was that there are 3 types of women here. A revert from any religion who became a believer and a Jew or a Chrstians Woman who have not yet converted. You know that Muslim men can marry a Jewish or a Christian women right?
 
Abu Loren said:
You know that Muslim men can marry a Jewish or a Christian women right?
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I believe most Muslims know this.

There are many problems for the future that must be thought of:

What religion will your kids be raised in if you attend mosque 5 times a day and your wife goes to Church every Sunday, what do the children do? Attend both?

Questions like this are make people think who they want to marry, and also having children with this person.

Who do you go to for help? The priest? The Imam? The therapist? The parents who don't respect your spouse?

Just think before you get married. I'm not saying marrying a revert is a bad thing, just might be different than marrying someone who was raised in an Islamic home since birth.
 
Iceee said:
What religion will your kids be raised in if you attend mosque 5 times a day and your wife goes to Church every Sunday, what do the children do? Attend both?
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Islamically the husband is the head of the household and the woman you are marrying must be made aware of this. She can go to church but if the husband wants the kids to be brought up Islamically then she has no say in the matter.
 
Abu Loren said:
Islamically the husband is the head of the household and the woman you are marrying must be made aware of this. She can go to church but if the husband wants the kids to be brought up Islamically then she has no say in the matter.
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Think about the part in red ^^^

That's going to cause a problem.

Here's how I see it; You say she has no say? Give me an example. Because I think that if a revert woman sees you as to controlling, guess what? You'll end up losing half of your belongings, your kids, and your wife.
 
Iceee said:

Think about the part in red ^^^

That's going to cause a problem.

Here's how I see it; You say she has no say? Give me an example. Because I think that if a revert woman sees you as to controlling, guess what? You'll end up losing half of your belongings, your kids, and your wife.
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Ice man don't you have to go to school or college or sumthin? You are here like 24/7.

Has the ice thawed there yet?
 
Woke up for Fajr, Eating breakfast at the moment, have school in a bit. :)

Had one week off for March Break, school starting again in a couple of hours.
 
Iceee said:
Think about the part in red ^^^

That's going to cause a problem.

Here's how I see it; You say she has no say? Give me an example. Because I think that if a revert woman sees you as to controlling, guess what? You'll end up losing half of your belongings, your kids, and your wife.
Click to expand...

Firstly, this is why a man should be wise in choosing a spouse. If the inter faith marriage happened because a love relationship was developed beforehand (which means he was doing haraam to begin with), then the chances of it going wrong are much higher. Muslim men are allowed to marry women of the book, keep in mind though its women who actually follow their book :D. If it is a real woman of the book, he will have to approach her for marriage just like in Islam. Orthodox Christians do it this way you know, it is very rare now, but still happens.

Second any woman of the book knows that her husband is the leader of the home, if she truly is devoted to serving Allah and following her faith she will have no problems accepting this. Women tend to follow their men as this is in their nature and more often than not they become Muslim,that is part of the wisdom behind allowing inter faith marriages. Notice that non muslim men are forbidden to muslim women, why do you suggest that is?

Anyway, this is an entirely different subject lol so uhm... lets not derail it yes?

- cOsMiC
 
I think the clue is in the latter part of the ayah where Allah mentions "if you cannot be just then take one"...

...If a man knows his wife will refuse a second wife - and he goes ahead anyway, isn't that the first injustice?

Scimi
 
Highly unlikely. Many reverts imo try to make Islam palatable with their previous religion/culture. I have noticed many of them prefer to continue working in their careers and find ways of justifying that it is permissible for women to work etc. without a real need.
 
Paprika said:
Highly unlikely. Many reverts imo try to make Islam palatable with their previous religion/culture. I have noticed many of them prefer to continue working in their careers and find ways of justifying that it is permissible for women to work etc. without a real need.
Click to expand...

I'm sorry to say that this isn't a revert issue. This is a feminism issue and it has plagued muslim women too. Most of the muslim women in my age range I know work full time/have careers and they are not reverts! (not discussing the permissibly of work here, just making a point).

The kind of scenarios spoken of when it comes to revert women (as what you just stated) are usually if not always due to a LOVE relationship initiating beforehand, then the woman decides to revert and we have a heap of problems because she is unfamiliar with Islam and the man who is involved in this haraam relationship isn't strong enough to set a good example of Islam. It is not the same or equal to a revert woman and a born muslim man deciding on marriage, discussing rules and plans, agreeing on them and then getting married. So lets not mix things up.

It isn't fair to generalize. I am a revert and I don't have those Ideals as you stated, I never did even before Islam, so we are not all the same. I actually find that many reverts, once they understand Islam and realize that it is their right to be provided for, have to put up a fight because their husband wants them working and providing for themselves. It happens all to often.

At the end of the day rules should be discussed BEFORE marriage, regardless if there's a revert involved here or not. If they are not in agreement and cannot compromise then they both go their separate ways. end of. It hasn't really to do with the woman being a revert or not.

- cOsMiC
 
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