Is the sin if you dont marry the woman your parents choose ?

[anonymous]

It has been said by Prophet " A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Seek the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust"If parents want me to to marry a woman for their wealth but if i were to disobey them and marry a woman who is beautiful and moderately religious and does not come from a wealthy family . Am I committing a sin ? Also is it a sin for parents of the son preventing their son from marrying a woman of his choice ?The Prophet, peace be upon him, says: “Should a man whom you find satisfactory with regard to his honesty and strength of faith propose to you for marriage, then give him [your daughter] in marriage. Unless you do that, there is bound to be strife and much corruption in society.Is there a reverse for the above hadith where if a woman with her mahram proposes to parents of the man and if the Father/Mother of the Son are objecting to the same and refusing to give their son and it would also cause strife and corruption

 

[Abdul Fattah]

Aselam aleykum
It is not a sin to disobey here. You are allowed to marry who you want. You're the one who will have to live together with her, so choose whichever you think is best for you, not for your parents.
As for parents preventing a marriage without a valid reason; yes that would be a sin for them. As for valid reasons; that's along the lines of she is not religious, or engaged in criminal behavior, etc. Being poor is not a valid reason for them to object.
As for your question wheter the hadeeth can be reversed, it doesn't have to. See the diffrence is that a woman needs a wali to marry, but a man doesn't. So you can do whatever you want, you don't need your parents permission or a wali to "give you away". Well obviously you would have to try and keep good relationships with your parents, but only within the boundaries of reason. If they are placing unreasonable demands (i.e. forcing you to marry against your will) then you have no blame/sin for going against their wishes.

 

[anonymous]

You're the one who will have to live together with her, so choose whichever you think is best for you, not for your parents.As for parents preventing a marriage without a valid reason; yes that would be a sin for them. As for valid reasons; that's along the lines of she is not religious, or engaged in criminal behavior, etc. Being poor is not a valid reason for them to object.

They are concerned about my future financial stability in this age of inflation hence want me to marry a wealthy family and whatever they advise is "for my own good"They say that marriage is union between 2 families and not between a man and woman and hence I must not be selfish about my choice.Another reason for them seek a wealthy family is because of the dowry practice (very common in subcontinental families) and they want to be provided car ,jewellery ,money etc from the girls parents I am very thankful to Allah that I dont have this greed in my heart and I swear I will put an end to this evil practice of dowry and will not let it pass on to my offspring If I were to have them.I can already forsee a divorce If i where to obey my parents and marry someone for purpose of wealth

 

[ardianto]

They are concerned about my future financial stability in this age of inflation hence want me to marry a wealthy family and whatever they advise is "for my own good"

They are concerned about themselves, not about you.

I can already forsee a divorce If i where to obey my parents and marry someone for purpose of wealth

It's better you disobey your parent since the beginning. Marry someone by your own choice without ask dowry (but as a man you still must give mahr, according to your financial ability). If you follow what your parent want, get married with a wealthy woman and then you divorce her, it would hurt your wife who actually not guilty.

 

[Ahmad H]

Your parents cannot force you to marry. Marriage is a very serious thing, and it defines the rest of your life, whether it continues for a long time or a short time. If you find you don't like the one you married, then you will have to divorce them. The most hated lawful action in the sight of Allah is divorce, so we Muslims are supposed to avoid it as much as is humanly possible.

That being said, you have to make your own decision. And think about your future children. You should make your best effort to produce a household which is peaceful and a healthy environment for your children. So you are not committing a sin if you disobey your parents by not marrying a woman for her wealth and not Deen. Deen comes first, because you want to raise a family of those attached to Allah, not to wealth.

And believe me, I have seen how marriages based on wealth become family lives revolved around wealth. Those families live life distanced from Allah and then regret that later on. Their children grow up confused and only worried about this life. This life and the wealth in this world means nothing. Choose a person who you like and who is righteous. You may find her to be better mannered than one who only cares about money.

May Allah guide you aright.

 

[Abdul Fattah]

Aselam aleykum,
Well they are certainly allowed to try and convince by reasoning; and you can take their arguments in consideration. But if despite these arguments, you still feel that this is not what is best for you, then you have every right to go against them.