Please HELP! In major despair.

[pray247]

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Islam,

Assalamu'Alaikum.

I am going through a major time of despair right now in life. I have been through plenty of different things over the last couple of years (divorce, etc.) and have gotten through it Alhumduillah through the blessings of Allah swt. I've gone through some major heartbreak and alhumduillah also survived that through prayers. Recently, I found someone that I really perceived as the answer to my prayers and all my sabr. Things were going so well that I honestly felt unworthy of such blessing. Then, out of nowhere, there are all of a sudden obstacles that stand in the way of things working out and I am more heartbroken than I have ever been in my life.

I have been doing my 5 daily prayers diligently. I work third shift, but the 3 nights a week that I don't, I wake up those nights and do tahajjud and prayers all night. I've been reading ayat-e-karima and various other prayers. I am constanly reciting names of Allah swt and even in my sleep sometimes wake up finding myself mumbling a dua. I am also in therapy with a counselor that I go see once a week. I have so much belief in Allah swt and I do have yakeen that He is the ultimate planner and will do what's best for me and things will happen as they are supposed to. I also know dua has more power than anything and I am holding fast to that hope and using dua's as my way of hope that things will once again go back to how I was hoping with this person.

HOWEVER, after ALL this - I am still having major anxiety attacks. My heart is constantly palpitating. I get only sukoon when I am on the prayer rug, and otherwise I am unable to function. I have moments where I remind myself about all the truths I know about Allah swt and His promises and my religion, but then my negative thoughts and anxiety take over again. I feel like my body will shut down on me any minute and if I don't get this person back, I feel as if I can't/won't survive. I sound silly because I've been through worse and I dealt with everything else fine before. I just don't know why I can't anymore. I feel like I am doing everything I possibly can (prayers, zikr, therapy, duas, etc) and so why am I still feeling like this?

I really, really need help from anyone that will be willing to take the time. Whether you can give me words of encouragement, advice, reminders about Allah's promises and what the Quran says - or whether I can just be given something I can recite like a powerful dua. I just feel like reaching out to my brothers and sisters in Islam is my last resort because I honestly feel I am in my darkest hour.

Thank you in advance for reading and taking the time to help this sister out.

 

[Skorpio]

Salam Sister

This is from the quran and has helped me greatly and inshallah will bring you some peace also,

“If Allah were to punish people according to what they deserve, He would not leave on the back of the (earth) a single living creature: but He gives them respite for a stated Term: when their Term expires, verily Allah has in His sight all His servants." (Fatir:45)

Have patience sister.
May Allah keep you in the right path.
Amen

 

[Alpha Dude]

Wa alaykum salam,

May Allah make things easy for you and allow you to marry this person without problem if he is good for you otherwise replace him with someone better. Aameen.

 

[pray247]

Thank you so much for the advice and prayers. May Allah swt give you ajaar. Ameen.

 

[ardianto]

I feel like my body will shut down on me any minute and if I don't get this person back, I feel as if I can't/won't survive.

Assalamualaikum.

I have enough much experiences with women that can make me understand what a woman feel when she is attracted to a man, and what a woman feel when she realize that she cannot get the man she expect.

Yes, I have seen various reaction from the women when they realize that they could not get me. From just disappointed until broken heart. So I understand what you feel.

But sis, you don't need to convince yourself that you cannot survive without him.

I understand if you convince yourself that you cannot survive without him. It's because you want to maintain your hope to get him back. But does he ever tried to back to you?.

Be realistic sis. He is not the only man in the world, and you are not the only woman in the world. If you still maintain your love to him, it would be very hurt when you see him with another woman.

Try to understand that if you cannot marry him, it's because Allah destine he is not for you. So, release him from your heart, and re-open your heart for someone new. Always make dua, wish Allah give you a good man to be your husband. In Shaa Allah, you will get a man who is destined as your husband.

I am sorry if my advice is bitter. But this is the best advice I can give based on my life experience.

 

[ardianto]

Sister Khadijah1 gives you an advice too. You can visit this thread

http://www.islamicboard.com/introduce-yourself/134322291-interesting.html

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Islam,

Assalamu'Alaikum.

I am going through a major time of despair right now in life. I have been through plenty of different things over the last couple of years (divorce, etc.) and have gotten through it Alhumduillah through the blessings of Allah swt. I've gone through some major heartbreak and alhumduillah also survived that through prayers. Recently, I found someone that I really perceived as the answer to my prayers and all my sabr. Things were going so well that I honestly felt unworthy of such blessing. Then, out of nowhere, there are all of a sudden obstacles that stand in the way of things working out and I am more heartbroken than I have ever been in my life.

I have been doing my 5 daily prayers diligently. I work third shift, but the 3 nights a week that I don't, I wake up those nights and do tahajjud and prayers all night. I've been reading ayat-e-karima and various other prayers. I am constanly reciting names of Allah swt and even in my sleep sometimes wake up finding myself mumbling a dua. I am also in therapy with a counselor that I go see once a week. I have so much belief in Allah swt and I do have yakeen that He is the ultimate planner and will do what's best for me and things will happen as they are supposed to. I also know dua has more power than anything and I am holding fast to that hope and using dua's as my way of hope that things will once again go back to how I was hoping with this person.

HOWEVER, after ALL this - I am still having major anxiety attacks. My heart is constantly palpitating. I get only sukoon when I am on the prayer rug, and otherwise I am unable to function. I have moments where I remind myself about all the truths I know about Allah swt and His promises and my religion, but then my negative thoughts and anxiety take over again. I feel like my body will shut down on me any minute and if I don't get this person back, I feel as if I can't/won't survive. I sound silly because I've been through worse and I dealt with everything else fine before. I just don't know why I can't anymore. I feel like I am doing everything I possibly can (prayers, zikr, therapy, duas, etc) and so why am I still feeling like this?

I really, really need help from anyone that will be willing to take the time. Whether you can give me words of encouragement, advice, reminders about Allah's promises and what the Quran says - or whether I can just be given something I can recite like a powerful dua. I just feel like reaching out to my brothers and sisters in Islam is my last resort because I honestly feel I am in my darkest hour.

Thank you in advance for reading and taking the time to help this sister out.

My dear sister surely if it was meant for you then it would have happened. Surely Almighty Allah only does what he thinks is best for us. He created us and knows us better than we know ourselves. Only he and he alone knows what is best for us so surely we should put our FULL reliance in him and trust our affairs to him and him alone.
Umar (Ra) Said:

No amount of guilt can change the past and no amount of worrying can change the future. Go easy on yourself, for the outcome of all affairs is determined by Allah's decree. If something is meant to go elsewhere it will never come your way but if it is yours by destiny from you it cannot flee.

Hasan Al Basri (Ra) said:


Imam Ibn'l Qayyim (Ra) Said: "Do not detest the misfortunes that befall you, for what you detest may be the cause of your salvation and what you like may be the cause of your ruin."

The divine decree related to the believer is always a bounty, even if it is in the form of withholding (something that is desired), and it is a blessing, even if it appears to be a trial, and an affliction that has befallen him is in reality a cure, even though it appears to be a disease!

Unfortunately, due to the ignorance of the worshipper, and his transgressions, he does not consider anything to be a gift or a blessing or a cure unless he can enjoy it immediately, and it is in accordance with his nature. If he were only given a little bit of understanding, then he would have counted being withheld from as a blessing, and the sickness as a mercy, and he would relish the trouble that befalls him more than he relishes his ease, and he would enjoy poverty more than he enjoys richness, and he would be more thankful when he is blessed with little than when he is blessed with a lot.

The Comforting words of Allah during hardships and trials

Verily, with the hardship,
there is relief
(i.e. there is one hardship with two reliefs, so one hardship cannot overcome two reliefs). [ Al-Inshirah 94:6]

"Peace unto you for that ye persevered in patience! Now how excellent is the final home!"
Excellent indeed is the final home!" [ Ar-Rad 13:24]

"...Do not regard it an evil to you;
nay, it is good for you...." [An- Nuur 24:11]

"...So put your trust (in Allaah)
if ye are indeed believers." [Al-Maida 5:23]

"O ye who believe!
Seek help in steadfastness
and prayer.
Lo! Allaah is with the steadfast." [Al-Baqarah 2:153]

"And certainly,
We shall test you with something
of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits,
but give glad tidings to As-Sabirin (the patient ones, etc.).
Who, when afflicted with calamity,
say: "Truly! To Allaah we belong
and truly, to Him we shall return." [ Al-Baqara 2: 155~156]

"And He will provide him
from (sources)
He never could imagine.
And whosoever puts his trust in Allaah,
then HE will suffice him.
Verily, Allaah will accomplish his purpose.
Indeed Allaah has set a measure for all things." [ At-Talaq 65:3]

"Verily We have created man
into toil and struggle." [ Al-Balad 90:4]

Know that when you have problems or in difficulty, then it is by Allaah's permission for HE says:

"Say: "Nothing shall ever happen to us
except what Allaah has ordained for us.
He is our Maula (Lord, Helper and Protector)."
And in Allaah
let the believers put their trust." [At-Taubah 9:51]

"No kind of calamity can occur,
except by the leave of Allaah
And if any one believes in Allaah,
{Allaah} guides his heart (aright):
for Allaah knows all things." [At-Taghabun 64:11]

"...There did Allaah give you one distress after another
by way of requital
to teach you not to grieve
for that which had escaped you,
nor for that which had befallen you.
And Allaah is Well Aware of all that you do." [Al-Imran 3:153]