Bringing up adolescent children.. What is the hardest part?

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greenhill said:


..from your earlier post..
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As I have said, my son is a shy boy :)


but I guess, this never became an issue. :statisfie

Peace :shade:
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I have read a number of 'confession' from people who unable to have friends except in internet, and It made me worry. But now I see he is active in socialization with his real world friends.
 
greenhill said:


I suppose. But there is a distinction in here. Those items mentioned do not have 'implications' and temptation like sex. Maybe eating to some. ;D but on a serious note, I have a son and a daughter. If either is irresponsible .... As much as I can pray for the best and let them learn by themselves, or I can have my say and be done with it as part of my responsibility as a father.
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Very true! It is rather disturbing what tempts people these days. Well, I guess some things always were a temptation, they were just polite enough not to be public about it in the past. Part of my plan was to find that elusive fine line between trying present it as neutrally as possible without creating temptation and at the same time explain the dangers and desires without either enticing or revolting him. Because teenagers seem inherently rebellious, too strong of a push in either direction can make them go promptly the other way. I was very much like that with some things. Many kids I knew badgered me to smoke weird stuff and I got mean about saying "no". I had a curfew saying I wasn't allowed to drive after midnight (not by parents/guardians surprisingly) and guess who was driving after midnight? My argument was that they should have been specific about when the curfew ended, because technically any time of day has followed midnight.
 
AsheSkyler said:
Because teenagers seem inherently rebellious, too strong of a push in either direction can make them go promptly the other way.
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My mother called me "rebel" and I indeed was rebelling her. She wanted me to be a boy like in her ideal conception and she pushed me for this, while i wanted to be myself.

But my wife was different (she has passed away). Since before our kids born she had told me she would not push our kids to be like this or like that. And now my teen boy is really different than me when I was in his age.
 
Salam ALekom
i find the best idea is to teach them quran the moment they reach 3 years old
- get them to memorize the whole quran and teach them the meaning of the quran
- choose their friends and don't wait for them to choose them
- be patient and know that raising up kids WILL NOT be easy, so don't stress yourself and try to act cool
- don't treat them as children and say they don't understand anythingK but rather treat them as old people in regrad of caring and respect
there's more to say but i will stop here
 
islamic.teacher said:
Salam ALekom
i find the best idea is to teach them quran the moment they reach 3 years old
- get them to memorize the whole quran and teach them the meaning of the quran
- choose their friends and don't wait for them to choose them
- be patient and know that raising up kids WILL NOT be easy, so don't stress yourself and try to act cool
- don't treat them as children and say they don't understand anythingK but rather treat them as old people in regrad of caring and respect
there's more to say but i will stop here
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Wa aleykum assalaam,

JazakAllah Khayran. Excellent advice. My boys started learning Qu'ran when they were about 6, but with hindsight, it would have been good to start them younger. And the importance of selecting their friends cannot be overstated.
 
Yup my kids started learning around 6 too!

I have always tried to treat my kids as young adults and entitled to truthful explanations to questions they ask. They're so mature now in their thinking that I kind of spoilt it for them in a way that I do not see them partaking much in childish activities and prefer more adult stuff. :hmm:
 
greenhill said:

I have always tried to treat my kids as young adults and entitled to truthful explanations to questions they ask. They're so mature now in their thinking that I kind of spoilt it for them in a way that I do not see them partaking much in childish activities and prefer more adult stuff. :hmm:
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I hope I can treat my son as young adult, but he prefers to be treated as 15 years old boy. :D

He is still spoiled. He active enough in activities with his friends, but he also love to go with me when he want to go to a place. Very different than me when I was in his age.

He is in camping for two nights now, with his school.
 
greenhill said:


Very true! Many things are so different now compared to our days...:?
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I don't know which the better, our days or our kids days nowadays. But I think the most important is how we bring up them.

By the way, my son back from his camping event. Proudly he told me that his group won 2nd prize for the best group. And he is the group leader.

:)
 
ardianto said:
I don't know which the better, our days or our kids days nowadays
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I have thought of this many times.... there are many advantages of those days and these days, likewise disadvantages in the old days and these days...

Difficult to call. I think I would be 'wilder' if I am growing up now because of the options available now compared to those days, but then again, costs now compared to those days are also different.

Well done to your son. Learning leadership at a young age and doing it well. At least he can still improve. Who knows, he might win it next time?

Peace :shade:
 
My teenager son is in the last stage of testing before progressing to the election for student union chairman in his high school. Currently there are four candidates in this stage which three people will be the candidates to be selected by the students.

Frankly I didn't realize that he is interested in organizational matter. I am so surprised, and proud too.

:statisfie
 
Salaam Br. Ardianto.

Looks like your son is getting ready for the world at large and building his portfolio by himself. Well done to him. It will put him in good stead in the future. :statisfie
 

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