A Turkish born in American needs help.

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ck1986

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Hello everbody, a little about myself, is I was born and raised in America. My family is from Turkey, but I have always lived the American Culture or American way of life. My parents are Muslim but they dont practice, my dad from time to time goes to friday prays, and fast, but doesnt pray 5 times, my mother is pretty much the same way.

I just wanted to ask or tell, that I am sick and tired of these young Americans always thinking the life is all about having a girlfriend and sex, and if you dont have a girlfriend or have sex, that means there is something wrong with youl Now I have lived this American lifestyle all my life, but for some reason I dont agree with them, and also I might add everything that you might do like adopt. a kitten, not have a girlfriend, in their minds some how it means your are Gay. My question is why do I not agree with them, I mean I was born and raised in American Culture all this time, I am 27 btw.

I still trying to figure out God and realgion. I do watch alot of Islam videos, and dont read but listen to the Quran ( which i might add , whenever I listen to the Quran I feel relaxed and for some reason MY CHEST HURTS WHY IS THAT)

Thank you
 
Assalamu Alaykum,

It is probably your fitrah, the natural disposition upon which Allaah :swt: created us, that makes you realise there is more to life than following our desires. And of course, Allaah :swt: guides whomsoever He wills. Perhaps He is guiding you away from a meaningless existence to a life of purpose and truth. Try to read more about Islam and read the Qur'an. Renew your intention to find the truth and call upon Allaah :swt: sincerely to guide you. Islam is for all of humanity regardless of where they were born or what culture they are. It is the religion that Allaah :swt: has chosen for mankind and the reason why He created us. It is the only way to true happiness and success - ultimately, Paradise.

May Allaah :swt: guide you and your family, Aameen.
 
Assalamualaikum.

Are you 27?. I was 26 years 11 months when I got married. So, have you started thinking about getting married?.

I can't say my life was good. But Alhamdulillah, had a wife made me better (she passed away last year). Had a someone who I love made me did not feel lonely again. Feeling lonely was indeed, made me hard to control myself to not do something wrong.

Start thinking to have a wife, and start looking for. Try to find a Muslimah with good heart. Not beautiful is okay, as long as she has beautiful heart. In Shaa Allah, her presence will makes you feel grateful and feel closer to Allah.

:)
 
ck1986 said:
Hello everbody, a little about myself, is I was born and raised in America. My family is from Turkey, but I have always lived the American Culture or American way of life. My parents are Muslim but they dont practice, my dad from time to time goes to friday prays, and fast, but doesnt pray 5 times, my mother is pretty much the same way.

I just wanted to ask or tell, that I am sick and tired of these young Americans always thinking the life is all about having a girlfriend and sex, and if you dont have a girlfriend or have sex, that means there is something wrong with youl Now I have lived this American lifestyle all my life, but for some reason I dont agree with them, and also I might add everything that you might do like adopt. a kitten, not have a girlfriend, in their minds some how it means your are Gay. My question is why do I not agree with them, I mean I was born and raised in American Culture all this time, I am 27 btw.

I still trying to figure out God and realgion. I do watch alot of Islam videos, and dont read but listen to the Quran ( which i might add , whenever I listen to the Quran I feel relaxed and for some reason MY CHEST HURTS WHY IS THAT)

Thank you
Click to expand...

Asalaamu Alaikum,

Almighty Allah has put us in this world to test us. He has given us the ability to distinguish between right and wrong and free will to choose whatever path we wish to choose. On top of that we have the whispers of shaythan and our Nafs (desires) pulling us towards the wrong path and on the other hand the natural disposition to do right and good deeds and acts. Our soul craves to do good and it burns when we do bad but after a while after doing much sin our hearts harden and we feel nothing when we sin because we become so used to it.

As Muslims we have been given a gift that is more special than anything else in this universe. A gift that we do not appreciate as we should. A gift not many are given compared to how many people have been created. A gift we must treasure and make the best of before it is too late. This gift is the gift of imaan (faith).

As well as Imaan we have been given guidance in the form of the final revelation the holy Qur'an as well as the Prophetic teachings in the form of the Sunnah in order to guide us as to the best way to live our lives in this world in order to be successful in this life and the next.

During this month we have the opportunity to change our lives forever. No matter what we have done throughout our lives Allah is always waiting for us to return to him but we are heedless and we waste o much time which we will never get back. Therefore the time to act is now before it is too late. None of us no at which second we will die. It maybe that we dont see tomorrow. We should never decieve ourselves and think we will live until old age. Look at the grave yards they are filled with the young.

The angel of death will not wait a second. He will take our soul yhe very second he is meant to and not a second late. So what are we waiting for in order to change? Are we waiting for death to strike? Are we waiting for a calamity to befall us? We will be the biggest losers on the day of judgement full of utter regret unless we make a change from this moment onwards.

Allah is waiting for us to return to him so let us walk towards him so that he msy run towards us. Nothing of this world is worth losing out on getting closer to Allah. This world is full of temporary distractions and deceptions. The real life is the Hereafter and the heaven of this world is being close to Allah! We will NEVER be satisfied with money, cars, women, fame, intoxication and gambling. It will only bring us misery and emptiness.

True happiness comes from contentment and we will only ever be truly content once we decide to live our lives in obedience to the commands of Allah and be true believers.

There are a few days left of Ramadan. During this time it is easier to change. So let us make ghusl (bath) to purify ourselves and pray 2 Rakah prayer of forgiveness and then raise our hands and beg of Allah for mercy. Let us cry unto him like a baby would cry unto its Mother. Let us ask of his mercy and forgiveness and that we want to make a firm intention of wanting to obey him and get closer to him. Let us thank him for giving us imaan and all the favours he has done for us and let us aak for his guidance.

if our heart is sincere then there is no doubt that Allah eould forgive an entire lifetime of sins! Glory be to Allah the merciful most kind who loves nothing but to forgive his slaves. He is the majesty of honour and generosity. We may get tired asking of him but he will NEVER tire from giving to us.

Also connect to your local Masjid. Get involved with your local Muslim community. Become a maintainer of the Masjid. Sit with the learned and attend any courses and talks they have there. That way you will also meet like minded good company and keep away from bad company as they will be harmful to you in this world and the next.

If you need anything else then please do not hesitate to ask.
 
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I understand what you're trying to say as I am accused of being a lesbian and surprisingly by muslims in an 'Islamic' country or let's just say the majority of it's citizens are anyway. Unfortunately this 'American lifestyle' appears to have taken a default status globally and most people will describe you as being retarded, backwardly, and ultimately homosexual if you chose not to indulge in their lifestyle. I wear the hijab and don't shake men's hands but sometimes don't pray as regularly and often as I should and sometimes even completely and it's been a while since I've read the Quran but it's because I have psychological issues to deal with. I feel that I'm insincere and that when I pray or worship Allah it should be sincere and I should put my heart into it but because I'm feeling so empty for the past couple of months, I guess at some point I gave up. Which makes me a hypocrite because my appearance portrays the delusion of being an extremely religious person when in reality I am not at least not as I used to be but I still have a desire to repent and return. The really sad part though is that over the years I learnt that muslims are prejudiced about their religion as much as any other non muslim out there. I remember being called a terrorist by my own muslim classmates when I was 15 in grade 11. What's even worse is the amount of ignorance prevalent among that fragment of society sometimes an atheist might know more about Islam than a thousand 'muslims'. Follow your heart and don't fret over what other people do, to each their own deeds and as long as it's your conviction then you'll be alright.
 
Dear Brother I will add some advice for you too, there is an ancient social rule that " Respect is not wanted, it is given " so you don't need to have some non Muslims' appreciations, in this way you don't need to worry about what they say due to your way of life not imitating their misfortune, This lifetime we share is very short and real life will be in hereafter, just learn your religion very well by starting to strengthen your faith, then step by step go further. it is a glad news that your nature does not feel right with that mutated life style of unfortunate youth. May Allah give you easiness in getting straight way of of life.
 
The "single man with cat" thing isn't odd to me. I have a cousin in his thirties now who's quite happy with just him and his cat, and when I met my husband he was also happily living alone with two cats. I think having a healthy pet is an example of your maturity and responsibility, rather than who you like to chase.

I'm not Muslim and I was also born and raised in America, but the sex obsession here irritates me to no end too. It can be so incredibly difficult find anybody worth talking to about science, philosophy, or even the weather, without them daydreaming about taking somebody's clothes off, or even more annoying, giving you tips on how to get people to take your clothes off! It's not just the young ones, people of all ages have harassed me on the topic with the same boring speeches. I've been called "weird" and "freak" so many times I just ignore it now. They're the ones missing out by not broadening their horizons past the bedroom. I eventually got lucky and found a group of people that could keep their head out of the gutter and have a good chat. Is there a good study group or something you could join? Sometimes you can have good results with those.
 

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