she asked me pointedly about what Muslims believe about woman's rights and equality.
Firstly, welcome, greetings and warm wishes to your friend. It is nice that you have introduced her to this thread.
Now, as to the issue of women's rights, I guess first we have to define what equality is, what rights are, as they can mean different things to different people. Most people, will be conditioned by the societies, cultures, environments they live in, and the information they have been exposed to, as to what their views are on this. Many countries and societies, currently perceive themselves to be the pinnacles of championing and having achieved equal rights for women, and therefore think of themselves as the pinnacles of civilisation.
I guess in non-Muslim societies, or Western societies, a woman has to have exactly the same rights as a man, in order to have made it. I'll try and give just a few bits of info, and perhaps impart another way of looking at things.
In the Qur'an we have some chapters named after prophets. Those chapters are, Jonah, Joseph, (Hud - not mentioned in the Bible I think), Abraham, Noah, and Muhammad (peace on them all). Apart from that, we have a chapter, called Mary. An entire chapter of the Qur'an, named after the esteemed and noble mother of Jesus (peace be on them both), one of the best women to ever set foot on the face of this earth. Even apart from that, we have a chapter called Women. An entire chapter, called women. That in itself, even if nothing else was said, should say something about the position of women in Islam. I am not sure if any other religious book can say that.
According to the Holy Qur'an, men and women have the same human spiritual nature:
O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women... (Quran, 4:1)
God has invested both genders with inherent dignity and has made men and women, collectively, the trustees of God on earth.
The Qur'an does not blame woman for the “fall of man,” nor does it view pregnancy and childbirth as punishments for “eating from the forbidden tree.” On the contrary, the Qur'an depicts Adam and Eve (peace be on them both) as equally responsible for eating from the tree, never singling out Eve for blame. Both repented, and both were forgiven (see the Qur'an 2:36-37 and 7:19-27). The Qur'an also esteems pregnancy and childbirth as sufficient reasons for the love and respect due to mothers from their children (Qur'an 31:14 and 46:15).
Men and women have the same religious and moral duties and responsibilities. Each human being shall face the consequences of his or her deeds:
And their Lord responded to them (saying): Never will I allow to be lost the work of (any) worker among you, whether male or female; you are of one another... (Qur'an, 3:195),
And whoever does righteous deeds, whether male or female, while being a believer - those will enter Paradise and will not be wronged, [even as much as] the speck on a date seed. (4:124)
On the Day you see the believing men and believing women, their light proceeding before them and on their right, [it will be said], "Your good tidings today are [of] gardens beneath which rivers flow, wherein you will abide eternally." That is what is the great attainment. (57:12)
See 33:35 in particular. It could have been much shorter if men and women were addressed collectively as believers, but look, Allah in every instance of deeds makes a point of mentioning both men and women:
Indeed, the Muslim men and Muslim women, the believing men and believing women, the obedient men and obedient women, the truthful men and truthful women, the patient men and patient women, the humble men and humble women, the charitable men and charitable women, the fasting men and fasting women, the men who guard their private parts and the women who do so, and the men who remember Allah often and the women who do so - for them Allah has prepared forgiveness and a great reward.
The Qur'an is quite clear about the issue of the claimed superiority or inferiority of any human, male or female. The sole basis for superiority of any person over another is piety and righteousness - not gender, colour, or nationality:
O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female, and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted. (Qur'an 49:13)
Another point to note, is that the wives of the Prophet Muhammad (peace, blessings, salutations of God be on him, and may God be pleased with them) never took his name on marriage, despite being married to the best man on earth, and neither did the other Muslim women take their husband's name. So his wife Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her), was never known as nor ever called herself, Aisha Muhammad. She was always known, when referred to by her name, as Aisha bint Abi Bakr (Aisha daughter of Abu Bakr). Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her), the first lady the Prophet married, was never known as Khadija Muhammad, but Khadija bint Khuwailid (Khadija, daughter of Khuwailid). The man you happened to be married to never came into it. You were always known as your father's daughter.
From what I have read, it seems that taking the husbands name as surname might have originated with the slave trade in some parts of the world, where slaves had to take their masters/owners surname, as you see among the Palmers and Williams among Afro Caribbeans. It indicated that the slave belonged to that master and was his property. They were deprived of their identity.
Referring to the 14th century Europe, England in particular:
Married women, however, were perceived to have no surname at all, since the Normans had also brought with them the doctrine of coverture, the legal principle that, upon marriage, a woman became her husband's possession. Her state of namelessness reflected this. In the words of one court in 1340, "when a woman took a husband, she lost every surname except 'wife of'".
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-29804450
Later on, this reasoning was changed on it's head because it didn't sound good, so then it was said that it was done to promote unity among the husband and wife, to show they are one.
In the 20th century, Western women such as Jane Grant were fighting for the most basic of rights, the right to keep their own names on marriage:
In 1921 Grant, along with Ruth Hale, founded the Lucy Stone League, which was dedicated, in the manner of Lucy Stone, to helping women keep their maiden names after marriage...
...with legal cases, mass meetings, signing into hotels openly, and going to Washington, D.C
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jane_Grant
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maiden_and_married_names
Muslim women were exercising this right from the 7th century. Nowadays, some western women choose to not take the name of the husbands family and choose to retain their own, as a symbol of modernity, or feminism or independence.
Continuing from the above bbc source (now referring to 15th century):
However, if there was one person in a marriage, that person was the husband. Married women still could not hold property, vote, or go to law. Legally, at the point of marriage they ceased to exist.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-29804450
Muslim women were given both entitlements and protection, and recognised as independent legal entities in their own right, over 1400 years ago, in the 7th century. Islam bestowed on them, the right to own their own property, and to dispose of it as they please, without anyone's permission. They had the right to give their consent to a marriage, or not. They had the right to go to court and obtain a dissolution of their marriage, if that became necessary. They were entitled to full financial support from their fathers, then husbands after marriage. They were guaranteed inheritance from close deceased relatives. They had the right to earn and keep their own money, provided that employment did not contravene Islamic guidelines. Muslim women and scholars were key in teaching and preserving Islam for the next generations. These are just a few things quickly for now.
Another point, is that while women in what I will loosely but perhaps incorrectly term "the west" just for convenience's sake, feel they have achieved equality and women's rights, have they really? What if there was another view, that turned everything on it's head? What if, those "rights" and that "equality", was borne out of an inferiority complex to begin with? What if, women in the west, felt they had no worth compared to men? And thus started this fight for "rights" which they feel they have now achieved? And on the other side of the coin, what if some women in the world, might view women in the west with pity, due to them having felt, and perhaps still feeling below par compared to men?
The following piece, by a Muslim woman, adapted and shortened from its original full text, is worth a read:
What we so often forget, is that God has honored the woman by giving her value in relation to God, not in relation to men. But as western feminism erases God from the scene, there are no standard left but men. As a result the western feminist is forced to find her value in relation to a man. And in so doing she has accepted a faulty assumption. She has accepted that man is the standard, and thus a woman can never be a full human being until she becomes just like a man - the standard.
When a man cut his hair short, she wanted to cut her hair short. When a man joined the army, she wanted to join the army. She wanted these things for no other reason than because the 'standard' had it. What she didn't recognize was that God dignifies both men and women in their distinctiveness - not their sameness.
On the other hand, only a woman can be a mother. And God has given special privilege to a mother. The Prophet taught us that heaven lies at the feet of mothers. But no matter what a man does he can never be a mother. So why is that not unfair?
When asked who is most deserving of our kind treatment? The Prophet (peace and blessings be on him) replied 'your mother' three times before saying 'your father' only once. Is that sexist? No matter what a man does he will never be able to have the status of a mother.
And yet even when God honors us with something uniquely feminine, we are too busy trying to find our worth in reference to men, to value it - or even notice. We too have accepted men as the standard; so anything uniquely feminine is, by definition, inferior. Being sensitive is an insult, becoming a mother - a degradation.
In the battle between stoic rationality (considered masculine) and self-less compassion (considered feminine), rationality reigns supreme.
As soon as we accept that everything a man has and does is better, all that follows is just a knee jerk reaction: if men have it - we want it too.
A Muslim woman does not need to degrade herself in this way. She has God as a standard. She has God to give her value; she doesn't need a man.
In fact, in our crusade to follow men, we, as women, never even stopped to examine the possibility that what we have is better for us. In some cases we even gave up what was higher only to be like men.
Fifty years ago, society told us that men were superior because they left the home to work in factories. We were mothers. And yet, we were told that it was women's liberation to abandon the raising of another human being in order to work on a machine. We accepted that working in a factory was superior to raising the Foundation of society - just because a man did it.
Then after working, we were expected to be superhuman - the perfect mother, the perfect wife, the perfect homemaker - and have the perfect career. And while there is nothing wrong, by definition, with a woman having a career, we soon came to realize what we had sacrificed by blindly mimicking men. We watched as our children became strangers and soon recognized the privilege we'd given up.
And so only now-given the choice-women in the West are choosing to stay home to raise their children.
It took women in the West almost a century of experimentation to realize a privilege given to Muslim women 1400 years ago.
Given my privilege as a woman, I only degrade myself by trying to be something I'm not - and in all honesty - don't want to be: a man. As women, we will never reach true liberation until we stop trying to mimic men, and value the beauty in our own God-given distinctiveness.
If given a choice between stoic justice and compassion, I choose compassion. And if given a choice between worldly leadership and heaven at my feet - I choose Heaven.
Some Muslim women who live in Western societies unfortunately feel apologetic about women's rights in Islam, because they view women's rights purely through how the media and society at large has portrayed them, and will say, I'm a Muslim woman, but it's ok, I'm a feminist! Or will incorrectly claim that our religion is feminist. Feminism is seen as liberation, independence, the ideal, the standard, something to aspire to. If the West has feminism, we must have it too, and are lacking without it. But it is borne out of that inferiority complex. And it stands for a skewing of things to a woman's position. Islam stands for balance, for justice. Thus there is no need for feminism in Islam nor is it something we aspire to. God gave us worth, entitlements and protection over 1400 years ago.
Men and women are not created the same. We have different but complementary temperaments, strengths and roles. We need to recognise and embrace and celebrate those.
There is more that can be said but I'll stop there for now. Don't know if that helps a little or has digressed, but I'll post it for now anyway.
Please do ask for any clarifications as required.
Peace.
eace:
this is so awesome Dan Edge !!!