Polygamy

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abumuslim82

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As salaamu alaykum my muslim brothers and sisters.

I don't understand why this subject has become such an issue today,

lots of muslims say they accept polygamy but just not for themselves. is this not a contradiction, coz we supposed to love for our muslim brother / sister what we love for ourselves.

So many sisters, due to male female ratio will not get married, if we don't start promoting and acting on this.
 
Polygamy in a place that has made it legal and ensured the protection of women in these marriages is ok. Polygamy in a place that has made it illegal promotes the abuse of women in these marriages.

Depends on context.
 
marriage is simple in Islam, it a matter of 5 words and 2 witnesses, that's all.

we have been western indoctrinated
 
:wa:

Qur'an permits limited polygyny As I mentioned earlier, Qur'an is the only religious book on the face of the earth that says 'marry only one'. The context of this phrase is the following verse from Surah Nisa of the Glorious Qur'an: 'Marry woman of your choice in twos' threes' or fours' but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly, (with them), then only one' [Al-Qur'an 4:3]

Before the Qur'an was revealed, there was no upper limit for polygyny and many men had scores of wives, some even hundreds. Islam put an upper limit of four wives. Islam gives a man permission to marry two, three or four women, only on the condition that he deals with them justly. In the same chapter i.e. Surah Nisa verse 129 says: 'It is very difficult to be just and fair between women'. [Al-Qur'an (4:129)]

Therefore polygyny is not a rule but an exception. Many people are under the misconception that it is compulsory for a Muslim man to marry more than one wife.

Broadly, Islam has five categories of Do's and Dont's.

(i) 'Farz' i.e compulsory

(ii) 'Mustahab' i.e recommended or encouraged

(iii) 'Mubah' i.e permissible

(iv) 'Makruh' i.e 'not recommended' or discouraged

(v) 'Haram' i.e prohibited or forbidden

Polygyny falls in the middle category of things that are permissible. It cannot be said that a Muslim who has two, three or four wives is a better Muslim as compared to a Muslim who has only one wife.

- Dr Zakir Naik

Source
 
Good points everyone,

don't you guys think theres a need for this though ?

close to qiyamah women will out ratio men 50 to 1,

so without polygamy a lot of sisters will not end up with spouses
 
:wa:

I don't understand why practicing polygamy is such an issue either. I think it's because Muslims have been influenced by the western kuffar way of thinking.
 
I think that many brothers have trouble finding even the first wife. To them, it´s too soon to talk about polygamy. Marrying in the Islam might be easy but think then how much you have to earn before you can guarentee the decent life to all of your wives. And kids too.

Life is expensive - specially a marriage life.
 
ardianto said:
But nowadays ratio of men and women is still balanced. Even in few areas the number of men is more than women.
Click to expand...

Assalaamu alaikum,


(smile) It depends on where you are. Indonesia is, indeed, pretty balanced (49.6% of the population is female, according to
http://data.worldbank.org/indicator/SP.POP.TOTL.FE.ZS)

However, there are places, times and situations when there could be more women than men. And it may be that polygyny could be useful in these places/situations.

Regarding [MENTION=38772]Bhabha[/MENTION] 's point. I'm afraid that holes in legislation to protect women from abuse actually increase the likelihood of abuse. So not giving women legal protection for Islamic marriages, actually increases the chances that women will be mistreated. And that their children may well suffer.

And to [MENTION=38825]abumuslim82[/MENTION] ... I believe that the intent behind the permission of polygyny was to help protect vulnerable women and children. Unfortunately, what too many men end up doing is using the permission to marry more than one wife to indulge in fun with no strings. The first wife is legal, and the others are essentially mistresses with little or no protection, who are used, disrespected and abandoned easily. And this, I feel, is deeply wrong.

But if a man wants to marry an older, less attractive or vulnerable woman with the sincere intent to please God by sustaining, offering companionship, and protecting the woman (and her children)... this would be a kind and good act, I think.


May God, the Compassionate, Guide us.
 
MuslimInshallah said:
And to [MENTION=38825]abumuslim82[/MENTION] ... I believe that the intent behind the permission of polygyny was to help protect vulnerable women and children.
Click to expand...

Unfortunately in many times widows and divorced women with kids, whose would need protection and could get the benefit from the polygamy, do not have the great potential to become even a second or third wife. Many brothers (or their families) prefer young, unmarried women only.
 
Polygamy up to 4 is just an allowance under some circumstances for protection of women not to please men with multiple wives.

and..I couldnt still find one how can I find more :D
 
sister herb said:
Unfortunately in many times widows and divorced women with kids, whose would need protection and could get the benefit from the polygamy, do not have the great potential to become even a second or third wife. Many brothers (or their families) prefer young, unmarried women only.
Click to expand...
The men who commit polygamy indeed, rarely take a woman with children as the second wife. It's related to the men's nature of superiority.

The desire to take other wives is caused by the man's nature of superiority. If this man take a woman with children as his second wife, then he will feel under the shadow of another man, the father of this woman's children. It's against his nature of superiority, of course.
 
sister herb said:
I think that many brothers have trouble finding even the first wife. To them, it´s too soon to talk about polygamy. Marrying in the Islam might be easy but think then how much you have to earn before you can guarentee the decent life to all of your wives. And kids too.

Life is expensive - specially a marriage life.
Click to expand...

LOL true about the first wife.

barakah sister barakah

lovely red slogan, inshaALLAH we will soon be out of the oppression of apartheid and be in the freedom of islam.
 
Sister101 said:
:wa:

I don't understand why practicing polygamy is such an issue either. I think it's because Muslims have been influenced by the western kuffar way of thinking.
Click to expand...


Salaam sister,

I don't mean to be personal, but are you married, u happy with ur spouse taking a second wife ? ( you can ignore if its too personal )
 
MuslimInshallah said:
Assalaamu alaikum,


(smile) It depends on where you are. Indonesia is, indeed, pretty balanced (49.6% of the population is female, according to
http://data.worldbank.org/indicator/SP.POP.TOTL.FE.ZS)

However, there are places, times and situations when there could be more women than men. And it may be that polygyny could be useful in these places/situations.

Regarding [MENTION=38772]Bhabha[/MENTION] 's point. I'm afraid that holes in legislation to protect women from abuse actually increase the likelihood of abuse. So not giving women legal protection for Islamic marriages, actually increases the chances that women will be mistreated. And that their children may well suffer.

And to [MENTION=38825]abumuslim82[/MENTION] ... I believe that the intent behind the permission of polygyny was to help protect vulnerable women and children. Unfortunately, what too many men end up doing is using the permission to marry more than one wife to indulge in fun with no strings. The first wife is legal, and the others are essentially mistresses with little or no protection, who are used, disrespected and abandoned easily. And this, I feel, is deeply wrong.

But if a man wants to marry an older, less attractive or vulnerable woman with the sincere intent to please God by sustaining, offering companionship, and protecting the woman (and her children)... this would be a kind and good act, I think.


May God, the Compassionate, Guide us.
Click to expand...

I don't think you got what I said.

Let me rephrase. If it has been deemed a criminal act to engage in polygamy in a country. Then engaging in polygamy results in potentially abusing the woman that engaged in it. I.e she is not protected because the marriage is not recognized. If polygamy has not been criminalized and men can legally marry more than one woman, i.e legally engage in polygamy. Then the woman is protected because the courts and the legal system have recognized it and have thus incorporated elements to deal with disputes arising out of it. At least the women are protected.
 
abumuslim82 said:
As salaamu alaykum my muslim brothers and sisters.

I don't understand why this subject has become such an issue today,

lots of muslims say they accept polygamy but just not for themselves. is this not a contradiction, coz we supposed to love for our muslim brother / sister what we love for ourselves.

So many sisters, due to male female ratio will not get married, if we don't start promoting and acting on this.
Click to expand...

You are a man so you will speak this way. Most men can't even handle 1 wife, forget 4. Men in this day and age can't treat more than 1 wife fairly, their Imaan is not this high!
 

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