I don't want to live anymore

TheLostSoul said:
Thanks for the advice. I have another problem though with doubts. Whenever someone says anything with subhanalah or alhamdulia or stagfrulah or other things about Allah my heart wavers and to me it feels like I am doubting and I hate it. Like what am I doubting like what is there to doubts?! Yet my heart doubts whenever people say that and when I say it nothing. This is one of my main problems
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Keep reminding yourself of the actual meaning.
Sometimes people forget the meaninf and just say it in arabic.

SubhanAllah- glory to Allah
Alhamdulilah - praise be to Allah
Astagfirllah - may Allah forgive me

Are you praying ? Listning to Quran ?
Watching any islamic lectures ? Do you remember/ talk about Allah to people ?
 
muslimah_B said:
Keep reminding yourself of the actual meaning.
Sometimes people forget the meaninf and just say it in arabic.

SubhanAllah- glory to Allah
Alhamdulilah - praise be to Allah
Astagfirllah - may Allah forgive me

Are you praying ? Listning to Quran ?
Watching any islamic lectures ? Do you remember/ talk about Allah to people ?
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I do pray like every day including extra prayers and talk to people about Allah a lot. But I haven't been listening to the Quran as much.
 
TheLostSoul said:
I do pray like every day including extra prayers and talk to people about Allah a lot. But I haven't been listening to the Quran as much.
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In sha Allah increase listning to Quran, and choose specific verses to your situation, such as verses that talk about shaytan being a clear enemy, Allahs mercy, Allahs oneness, the power of Allah, creations of Allah

Then in sha Allah you will be in awe of Allah and you will want to praise Allah and thank Allah for all that he has done for us, putting your heart at ease and keeping you further from the waswas (whisperings of shaytan)

If your able to play/recite surah Al Baqarah out loud so that it reaches all corners of the house (within 3 days) to rid the house of any shayteen or non-muslim jinns

Just keep reminding yourself that these thoughts are from shaytan and as a believer in Allah you are stronger than him, and he cannot take you away from worshipping Allah (have firm belief in this)
 
TheLostSoul said:
I am pretty sure I got rid of my Islam. I was just thinking about my Allah and then I started getting doubts and then purposefully thought kufr and now I want to die!

I don't want to live no more I killed my Islam because of my sins and now the kufr I have had! I don't know what to do I am super depressed and hurting myself because look at me I have had waswas and now I don't know if I made the the thought or not but I'm pretty sure it was me.

I always thought bad things and hypocritical things against my Islam I always said bad things when asking Allah to guide me towards Islam I think of the opposite. I want to be a Muslim I don't want to lose the one thing that made me happy. I just want to kill myself and I think I should cause now when I say good my heart feels empty and my heart is dead so why should I weep when it was all my fault I should just end it. I feel empty and it's all my fault
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Why do people always make threads about not wanting to live? If you don't want to live then go top yourself already and stop seeking attention. Just know that when you kill yourself you'll experience 1000x worse pain than you're in now. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, life's hard, get over it.
 
EgyptPrincess said:
Why do people always make threads about not wanting to live? If you don't want to live then go top yourself already and stop seeking attention. Just know that when you kill yourself you'll experience 1000x worse pain than you're in now. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, life's hard, get over it.
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we should try to encourage him not to do it instead of that.
For some people its a cry for help that they desperately need it and people wernt taking it seriously enough to help them.
Other people by saying that would actually do it to prove a point they actually are at the point of doing it (yea its a bit silly by suicide to prove a point, but sometimes people are really that far gone and a simple statement like that is the "push" they needed to do it)
We shouldnt take suicidal thoughts lightly as for someone to get that far in their thinking that its the only way out for them, shows how deep their problems are TO THEM and how clouded their judgement is.

Now for people who get suicidal of people leaving them such as a bf/gf, husband/ wife i honestly feel slightly compelled to slap sense into them as thinking "oh i cant live without them" well yes you can when they left you didnt drop down dead (which proves my point)
The only thing we cant live without is Allah !!
(Im not being harsh but speaking from experience on all sides)
 
EgyptPrincess said:
Why do people always make threads about not wanting to live? If you don't want to live then go top yourself already and stop seeking attention. Just know that when you kill yourself you'll experience 1000x worse pain than you're in now. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, life's hard, get over it.
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I get it, I shouldn't have said that but it was in a fit of panic and rage. I won't kill myself I know the punishment is a lot worse than what it is now. I get life is hard but when suffering this and being depressed it ain't easy. You know horrible it feels when such thoughts come to mind in my head and such doubts after all Allah has done for me do you think I can let such thoughts slide no of course not because it's horrible and I hate it. I am not here trying to make people feel sorry for me I honestly only want Allah and iman that's all I don't want to show off or anything but I wasn't in a good state of mind at the time. Like of course I don't want to go to hell either way but when you see your faith lowering and know the truth and know the end for people fail of course it will make me go crazy.
 
muslimah_B said:
we should try to encourage him not to do it instead of that.
For some people its a cry for help that they desperately need it and people wernt taking it seriously enough to help them.
Other people by saying that would actually do it to prove a point they actually are at the point of doing it (yea its a bit silly by suicide to prove a point, but sometimes people are really that far gone and a simple statement like that is the "push" they needed to do it)
We shouldnt take suicidal thoughts lightly as for someone to get that far in their thinking that its the only way out for them, shows how deep their problems are TO THEM and how clouded their judgement is.

Now for people who get suicidal of people leaving them such as a bf/gf, husband/ wife i honestly feel slightly compelled to slap sense into them as thinking "oh i cant live without them" well yes you can when they left you didnt drop down dead (which proves my point)
The only thing we cant live without is Allah !!
(Im not being harsh but speaking from experience on all sides)
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Anyone that is truly suicidal will not make posts on forums... they'd just do it. Like when someone is on top of a building for 3 hours and eventually comes down. I think people who are suicidal just do it. Rather than the OP saying "I don't want to live anymore" he should be saying "my life is pretty crap at the moment, do you have any suggestions to make it better".
 
TheLostSoul said:
I get it, I shouldn't have said that but it was in a fit of panic and rage. I won't kill myself I know the punishment is a lot worse than what it is now. I get life is hard but when suffering this and being depressed it ain't easy. You know horrible it feels when such thoughts come to mind in my head and such doubts after all Allah has done for me do you think I can let such thoughts slide no of course not because it's horrible and I hate it. I am not here trying to make people feel sorry for me I honestly only want Allah and iman that's all I don't want to show off or anything but I wasn't in a good state of mind at the time. Like of course I don't want to go to hell either way but when you see your faith lowering and know the truth and know the end for people fail of course it will make me go crazy.
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So what is the cause of this distress? Do you no longer believe in Allah? You feel it inside yourself that you don't believe any more?

Are your thoughts becoming atheistic?
 
EgyptPrincess said:
Anyone that is truly suicidal will not make posts on forums... they'd just do it. Like when someone is on top of a building for 3 hours and eventually comes down. I think people who are suicidal just do it. Rather than the OP saying "I don't want to live anymore" he should be saying "my life is pretty crap at the moment, do you have any suggestions to make it better".
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When your feeling suicidal, you obviously dont want to do it but you feel that it is the only way to stop the pain.. sometimes they reach out to stop themselves feeling this way as a last cry for help... but when they ask for help and someone says to them "if you wanna kill yourself just go do it" its the final push needed for them to do it. To them it means "well you know what i dont care about you, or your problems, if you wanna do it then do it like anybody cares, your worthless and you deserve to kill yourself"

You shouldnt be harsh or insensitive to these issues, as some people see this as their last bit of hope and just need reasurrance that it isnt that bad, things can get better and that someone actually does care about them, pushing somebody at complete rock bottom is never the way to go about things.
 
EgyptPrincess said:
So what is the cause of this distress? Do you no longer believe in Allah? You feel it inside yourself that you don't believe any more?

Are your thoughts becoming atheistic?
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Well yes I am having kufr thoughts and stuff but I still pray cause I know Allah is the one and only creator clearly I don't want to go to hell as I have stated numerous times within this thread.
 
TheLostSoul said:
Well yes I am having kufr thoughts and stuff but I still pray cause I know Allah is the one and only creator clearly I don't want to go to hell as I have stated numerous times within this thread.
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Explain these thoughts? Kufr thoughts is a broad term. Perhaps is people know exactly what type of thoughts you're having it might help to isolate what is causes them or possible solutions.
 
EgyptPrincess said:
Explain these thoughts? Kufr thoughts is a broad term. Perhaps is people know exactly what type of thoughts you're having it might help to isolate what is causes them or possible solutions.
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See it usually is rude or bad thoughts about Allah. It all started when I was having bad thoughts and called myself a failure non believer even though I wasn't and this was all the way at the beginning. Then it slowly turned into bad thoughts about the prophet then after some help the thoughts went and then they returned with doubts about Allah and rude thoughts about Allah and problem was that I was hanging out with the wrong crowd of people I have left them because they affected my iman however there are times where I feel happy and then low points like I have fallen into kufr and lost my Islam because of doubts even though I shouldn't be doubting Allah. However when I hear the Quran I tear up because I am nothing without Allah. Usually I get angry at myself and think why do I think like that!
 
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I say the cause is because of sins I committed and I have given up on commiting such sins now
 
Anyways I'll be taking my leave and I'll come back with updates. My goal is to improve myself but I know it won't work instantly and it will take time but inshallah my iman will be fixed and become stronger than before.
 
TheLostSoul said:
I am pretty sure I got rid of my Islam. I was just thinking about my Allah and then I started getting doubts and then purposefully thought kufr and now I want to die!

I don't want to live no more I killed my Islam because of my sins and now the kufr I have had! I don't know what to do I am super depressed and hurting myself because look at me I have had waswas and now I don't know if I made the the thought or not but I'm pretty sure it was me.

I always thought bad things and hypocritical things against my Islam I always said bad things when asking Allah to guide me towards Islam I think of the opposite. I want to be a Muslim I don't want to lose the one thing that made me happy. I just want to kill myself and I think I should cause now when I say good my heart feels empty and my heart is dead so why should I weep when it was all my fault I should just end it. I feel empty and it's all my fault
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Salam bro. If you regret this means you still have iman and no need to fear of kufr. If you kill yourself your akhirah will be indeed not good. Just go to a Doctor. Everything will be fine.
 
the fact you tear up at Quran is a beautiful sign, the perfect words of Allah are touching your heart, so keep listening to Quran, watch islamic lectures, do all these good things, do not let shaytan keep reminding you of your past, your past is the past keep it that way, turn your back on it, make jannah and pleasing Allah be your present and future,
yes its easier said than done, but do it slowly build up on these things slowly, come to love them and improve on it, there is always more every single one of us could be doing to improve ourselves.

like i said with the kufr thoughts listen to specific verses of the Quran, the oneness of Allah, Allahs power, Allah creating the sky, moon, sun , stars, it will bring you in awe of Allah and the endless capabilities of his infinite power.

maybe even try a nature walk or hike, these are good ways to just submerse yourself in the greatness of Allah and have tranquility, look at all the creations of Allah, all the trees, plants, animals, all from Allah
 
TheLostSoul said:
Anyways I'll be taking my leave and I'll come back with updates. My goal is to improve myself but I know it won't work instantly and it will take time but inshallah my iman will be fixed and become stronger than before.
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InshaaAllah, you got this man.

sometimes Imaan is lower than other times.
And sometimes we even hit rock bottom.
The important thing is that no matter how far you've gone,
your heart still holds love for Allah and Islam.
And no matter how hard Shaytaan has tried to work on you, your love for Allah is still winning this fight. You want to return to Him and correct yourself.

Remember in Surah Al-Hijr

[Iblees] said, "My Lord, because You have put me in error, I will surely make [disobedience] attractive to them on earth, and I will mislead them all 15:39

Except, among them, Your chosen servants 15:40

[ Allah ] said, "This is a path [of return] to Me [that is] straight. 15:41

Indeed, My servants - no authority will you have over them, except those who follow you of the deviators 15:42

Until the dirt from the grave fills our bellies, you have every chance to turn back InshaaAllah.

InshaaAllab your Imaan WILL be fixed and stronger than before.
Ramadan is just around the corner!
 

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