Our parents left us for Ramadan :/

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Salam Alaykum

Sorry I have not posted here in a very long time but I have another question. Is it morally right that our mum and dad went abroad to see their family for Ramadan and left me and my older sister at home? She is 18 so can take care us but I still think it's a bit selfish of them. My sister cannot go because she has exams and I was told to stay so my sister isn't left by herself.

Firstly I have a problem with this because she goes out with her friends all the time and is not home much anyway and I hate my sister because she is horrible to me lol. I complained last time because she doesn't treat me with respect and my parents just tell me to do as she says and not to question her but it's not right that she can do whatever she wants and I can't. I am the man of the house while our parents are away...

She does cook and stuff so my parents told her to make sure she is home to cook and break our fast together so I guess that's not so bad but I still think my parents are being incredibly selfish and they know how much me and my sister don't get along. Especially when she is left in charge of me she deliberately treats me unfair.

Anyone else think this is really bad for my parents to do this?
 
I forget to add that she brings her friends into the house a lot when my parents are not here but when I want to bring my friends in she says I'm not allowed.
 
Quit being a child dude.

Your parents deserve some time off together. The reason you and her did not go was probably because they can't leave the house alone, or cannot afford to take so many family members all at once.

As to your sister, demand respect and recieve it. If she is a few years older, you still will have to respect her as the woman of the house because she is at an age where she knows much more than you.

If she really is being bad to you, you might want to consider sitting her down and telling her what you think. Tell her to respect you (in a nice way). If she does not listen, then that is her problem and at thag point you shouldn't let yourself to be subjicated by her.

The point is: Your parents are not selfish. And talk to your sister and tell her to quit the way of how she acts towards you. Make sure you are not doing anything wrong that ticks her off either. Your parents probably thought that things might get better between you two if you are forced to live together alone.
 
Walaikum salaam,

It depends, do your parents do this every Ramadan or is it the first time? Perhaps their trip is more of a family visit reunion type of deal? Maybe a family member close to your parents are ill and they want to spend Ramadan with them before they pass? I don't think it's that bad to be honest I mean Ramadan should be spent with family but if it's just a one off I don't think there is anything wrong with it.

With regards to your sister, you're 12 and not "man of the house". You are her baby brother... She is an adult and you are a child. She has power over you, deal with it.

As for her having her friends over, she is an adult and can do what she wants. If she tells you your friends cannot come over then she is doing what she thinks is best.
 
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Salam alaykum

Welcome brother again to forum. Once I read your post, I remember your the last one - it was about similar kind of situation. You got some very good advices from members at that time and I advice you now to read them again. They suit well also to this your situation.

As sister EgyptPrincess wrote - she is an adult and you are still as a child. You better obey her and be kind to her. I am sure that also your parents trust her a lot as they left you to hers responsibility. And don´t say you hate your sister (that sounds quite childish and immature and unfortunately it tells a lot about your age). You should grow up and realise how important it´s learn to love and respect your all family members.

I wish to you and your sister blessed Ramadan together.
 
Helikido said:
Quit being a child dude.

Your parents deserve some time off together. The reason you and her did not go was probably because they can't leave the house alone, or cannot afford to take so many family members all at once.

As to your sister, demand respect and recieve it. If she is a few years older, you still will have to respect her as the woman of the house because she is at an age where she knows much more than you.

If she really is being bad to you, you might want to consider sitting her down and telling her what you think. Tell her to respect you (in a nice way). If she does not listen, then that is her problem and at thag point you shouldn't let yourself to be subjicated by her.

The point is: Your parents are not selfish. And talk to your sister and tell her to quit the way of how she acts towards you. Make sure you are not doing anything wrong that ticks her off either. Your parents probably thought that things might get better between you two if you are forced to live together alone.
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I'm not being a child she is just being unfair and not treating me with respect.

EgyptPrincess said:
Walaikum salaam,

It depends, do your parents do this every Ramadan or is it the first time? Perhaps their trip is more of a family visit reunion type of deal? Maybe a family member close to your parents are ill and they want to spend Ramadan with them before they pass? I don't think it's that bad to be honest I mean Ramadan should be spent with family but if it's just a one off I don't think there is anything wrong with it.

With regards to your sister, you're 12 and not "man of the house". You are her baby brother... She is an adult and you are a child. She has power over you, deal with it.

As for her having her friends over, she is an adult and can do what she wants. If she tells you your friends cannot come over then she is doing what she thinks is best.
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She is my sister not my mother why do I have to deal with it and do as she says? I would not even mind but why does she get to have her friends over and I have to put up with their noise but I can't have my friends over for play video games with?
 
Goku_u said:
I'm not being a child she is just being unfair and not treating me with respect.



She is my sister not my mother why do I have to deal with it and do as she says? I would not even mind but why does she get to have her friends over and I have to put up with their noise but I can't have my friends over for play video games with?
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You and your sister should be able to have your friends come over. She cannot say yes or no. If she head butts you, call your parents and get their permission. Once you do, she cannot disobey what your parents have allowed you to do.

And yes, you crying about how it is unfair for your hard working parents to take some time off for themselves makes you look like a child. When you have worked every day of your life raising kids and putting a shelter over their head, I think you deserve some time off.
 
Helikido said:
You and your sister should be able to have your friends come over. She cannot say yes or no. If she head butts you, call your parents and get their permission. Once you do, she cannot disobey what your parents have allowed you to do.

And yes, you crying about how it is unfair for your hard working parents to take some time off for themselves makes you look like a child. When you have worked every day of your life raising kids and putting a shelter over their head, I think you deserve some time off.
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I just asked if it was fair that they abandon us on such a special month. She doesn't hit me or anything but when I phone my parents to complain about her they just tell me to stop complaining and do what she says but they don't understand how unfair it is that she can do things that I cannot. You are a boy too so imagine how annoying it is to have your sister bossing you all over the place...

I just want to have my friends over but she tells me no, but she has her girl friends over. Seems totally fair. All she does is cook for me and I have to do everything else like the washing up and laundry.
 
Goku_u said:
I just asked if it was fair that they abandon us on such a special month. She doesn't hit me or anything but when I phone my parents to complain about her they just tell me to stop complaining and do what she says but they don't understand how unfair it is that she can do things that I cannot. You are a boy too so imagine how annoying it is to have your sister bossing you all over the place...

I just want to have my friends over but she tells me no, but she has her girl friends over. Seems totally fair. All she does is cook for me and I have to do everything else like the washing up and laundry.
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1. What is the age difference between you and her?

2. Your parents did not "abandon" you. Stop talking like that about your parents. As of now you seem like an extremely spoiled child. Being abandoned by a parent is being thrown away on the streets of where you are from, no roof over your head, no sister to take care of you, make you food, and funds to live your life peacefully. If it is your parents choice to spend this month of Ramadan with themselevs, to have a peaceful religious month where they both worship god together in arms, RESPECT the choice and support them.

3. If your sister keeps treating you unfairly, then deal with her. If she is much older than you, then yes the chores wont be evenly distributed. But if she becomes annoying for no reason, just don't respond. You are only obligated to take care of yourself (wash your own dishes, clear your own bathroom, etc). You don't have to do your sisters chores. Any outdoor chores though, you are responsible for as "the man of the house". The title does not come without a responsibility.

4. It is easier for your sister to invite her friends over. However, inviting stranger men in the house is a completely different thing. By inviting men, can discomfort her greatly. You are a man, go out and go over to your friends house and find something to do outside. You have luxurious that she doesn't have, so respect it if she does not want to be discomforted.
 
Helikido said:
1. What is the age difference between you and her?

2. Your parents did not "abandon" you. Stop talking like that about your parents. As of now you seem like an extremely spoiled child. Being abandoned by a parent is being thrown away on the streets of where you are from, no roof over your head, no sister to take care of you, make you food, and funds to live your life peacefully. If it is your parents choice to spend this month of Ramadan with themselevs, to have a peaceful religious month where they both worship god together in arms, RESPECT the choice and support them.

3. If your sister keeps treating you unfairly, then deal with her. If she is much older than you, then yes the chores wont be evenly distributed. But if she becomes annoying for no reason, just don't respond. You are only obligated to take care of yourself (wash your own dishes, clear your own bathroom, etc). You don't have to do your sisters chores. Any outdoor chores though, you are responsible for as "the man of the house". The title does not come without a responsibility.

4. It is easier for your sister to invite her friends over. However, inviting stranger men in the house is a completely different thing. By inviting men, can discomfort her greatly. You are a man, go out and go over to your friends house and find something to do outside. You have luxurious that she doesn't have, so respect it if she does not want to be discomforted.
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I am 13 and she is 18.

How can I deal with her? She doesn't listen to anything I say lol. I do have to do clean the dishes and do the laundry otherwise she won't give me any of the money our parents left us. She did this last time and only gave me money when I did the chores. Our parents leave the money to her because they don't trust me with it and she gives me some of it but only if I do the chores but she only cooks and does nothing else.

So I have to hoover, wash the dishes, mop the floor, do the laundry, change the bed sheets, take the rubbish out, everything. If I don't she won't give me any spending money our parents left us. I don't know where she keeps it otherwise I would just take my half of it :D

My friends are my age, it doesn't make her uncomfortable she is just being awkward on purpose. I do go outside with my friends but sometimes I want to stay inside and play video games, even when I do want to go out she will say if I've not cleaned my room or hoovered or something I cannot go... she is just blackmailing me it's not fair. She never tells me to do anything when my parents are home because she knows they will tell her off.
 
How you can deal with her? You will simple obey her as it seems to be your parents wish. You want to obey your parents? If yes, stop complaining and do what your sister orders you to do.

And please, one thread about same matter is enough.
 
parenting fail... HUUGE

but not as huge as calling yourself GOKU :D bloody insanity calling yourslf after jinn demons, lol
 
Timi Scar said:
parenting fail... HUUGE

but not as huge as calling yourself GOKU :D bloody insanity calling yourslf after jinn demons, lol
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Dragonball z is awesome and goku is my favourite character.


sister herb said:
How you can deal with her? You will simple obey her as it seems to be your parents wish. You want to obey your parents? If yes, stop complaining and do what your sister orders you to do.

And please, one thread about same matter is enough.
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Easy for you to say you are a girl. My friends see my sister bossing me about and I look like an idiot. Yes I obey my parents as they are my parents but my sister has no right to boss me around and blackmail me to do the chores or I don't get any of the money. I know I moaned about this last time as well and got the same responses.

I know at the end of the day I have to listen to her as she is in charge of me and has the money but I just think she is being a bit unfair that is all.
 
Goku_u said:
Dragonball z is awesome and goku is my favourite character.




Easy for you to say you are a girl. My friends see my sister bossing me about and I look like an idiot. Yes I obey my parents as they are my parents but my sister has no right to boss me around and blackmail me to do the chores or I don't get any of the money. I know I moaned about this last time as well and got the same responses.

I know at the end of the day I have to listen to her as she is in charge of me and has the money but I just think she is being a bit unfair that is all.
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Honestly, I think you need to shut up and learn the way of family. Whether a girl or boy, SHE IS 5 YEARS OLDER. If your parents where to die all of sudden, she would be able to take care of you, while you sit there and cry about your life. What can a 13yr old do in this society? NOTHING. Learn your place dude, respect your sister and your parents. At this point you have become nothing but a troll.
 
Helikido said:
Honestly, I think you need to shut up and learn the way of family. Whether a girl or boy, SHE IS 5 YEARS OLDER. If your parents where to die all of sudden, she would be able to take care of you, while you sit there and cry about your life. What can a 13yr old do in this society? NOTHING. Learn your place dude, respect your sister and your parents. At this point you have become nothing but a troll.
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Fine i'll do as I'm told and won't bring it up again! Chill out.
 
Goku_u said:
Fine i'll do as I'm told and won't bring it up again! Chill out.
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You managed to upset a few people in the process, but I'm glad thatyou understood in the end.
 
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Should I tell on my sister for doing wrong?

Salam alaykum,

Me again and I one more question please don't be mad at me I am just asking.

My older sister who is 18 has been having her friends over and some of them are boys also her age. She knows she is not meant to have non mahrams inside and I told her about it and she said it's to study together. Is it my responsibility to tell on her to my father?

I don't want to just be a grass but she tells me off when I do things wrong so she is a hyocrite. Should I tell on her or would it be wrong of me to do so?
 
Re: Should I tell on my sister for doing wrong?

walaikum salaam

Little bro she is an adult and I'm sure you are just doing this to be annoying to her? Maybe you should tell her that your parents do not allow and it and she should know better but if she carries on then she is disobeying Allah swt. Do not tell your parents. If you do she will kick your backside because you're doing it purposely to make her studying difficult.

Allahu alam
 
Re: Should I tell on my sister for doing wrong?

Parents trusted her but she's bringing in nonmahrams. Not cool.

Tell her not to do that anymore, and that if she does it again you'll grass.

If she does it again, just tell your folks, cause she's breaking the trust they gave her in this situation.
 
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