Am I wrong for this?

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raiders

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I have been dating this girl I want to marry for the past 4 years. We are both believing muslims. So heres when the problem comes to play, every year I take a trip with my friends(all muslim guys) to like LA. We stay in my best freinds sisters house, who is married and has a kid and also are muslims. My girlfriend doesnt approve of it because I have never been on a trip with her, and also because there would be a woman in the house that I would be staying in. I havnt been on a trip with her because, ofcourse my parents woudnt approve, and you know how arab parents are. My parents are fine with me going with my friends. I tell her once we get our nikah done we will go wherever we want. But thats not good enough for her and she says if I go well be done. Am I wrong if I go or is she wrong for doing that? I look forward to your answers inshallah.
 
Assalamu Alaikum

Why is she your girlfriend and not your wife already?
 
Having a girlfriend is Haraam. There's no such thing as 'dating' in Islam.
 
:sl:

I think her point is that, if you can live in same house as a non-mahram woman then why shouldn't I go along although we are non-mahrams?. if your best friends sister observes hijab and avoids being in seclusion with you then that's ok for you to stay there and you are right it will be wrong to take your fiancé with you for she is non-mahram .... so if your bf's sister does observe proper hijab than just explain to your finance that it is ok for you to stay there and stress to her how it will be haram for her to acompany you before nikah and as Sister Charisma suggested, why not do a quick nikah and all problems will be solved! :)
 
well hey i grew up in california and no body is perfect, i never said it wasnt a halal relationship and even if not my sin is between me and allah
 
raiders said:
well hey i grew up in california and no body is perfect, i never said it wasnt a halal relationship and even if not my sin is between me and allah
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Bro make nikkah and remain living with your parents until you're financially stable. At least you can see each other in a halal way and Allah will bless you more inshallah. As long as you're not married, neither of you have rights to each other, and you are committing sin. It's even worse if you are together in public because now that's committing a public sin. It shouldn't matter where you live, Islam can be practiced everywhere. Do both of your parents know you're together?
 
raiders said:
wer 20, still going to school, cant really financially support her yet, etc
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brother you know you are committing a lot of sin don't you by having a girlfriend, so even if you cannot financially support her, to halalify [is there such a word? :D] your relationship, you should do quick as possible nikah with her, even if you both still stay apart after it ... at least the relationship that you both have will be made halal!
 
*charisma* said:
Bro make nikkah and remain living with your parents until you're financially stable. At least you can see each other in a halal way and Allah will bless you more inshallah. As long as you're not married, neither of you have rights to each other, and you are committing sin. It's even worse if you are together in public because now that's committing a public sin. It shouldn't matter where you live, Islam can be practiced everywhere. Do both of your parents know you're together?
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my parents know were togethor yes, i talked with my mom about nikah and like abdulah said stay apart but my mom said that its haram cause she thinks i want a temporary nikah just to commit zina with her lol, i talked to her about it before ramadon and havnt brought it back up since
 
raiders said:
my parents know were togethor yes, i talked with my mom about nikah and like abdulah said stay apart but my mom said that its haram cause she thinks i want a temporary nikah just to commit zina with her lol, i talked to her about it before ramadon and havnt brought it back up since
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Even if you slept with her, it's not haram because islamically she's your wife! However, in Arab cultures, nikkah is like the engagement period; We don't sleep together in case it doesn't work out, so we use that time to get to know each other. In your case however, you've been with this girl for 4 years..that's a long time. You already know each other and want to be together. Maybe your mom doesn't know the basics of Islam and is more cultural, but the right thing to do is to propose to her and marry her the proper way. Otherwise, you'll have to break up and go your separate ways because essentially it's like you're stealing from your marriage. Everything you could be doing with her or have done with her, was supposed to be done while you're married.
 
I understand bro that you probably have not been raised in an Islamic environment, but for whatever reason you came to this site today to ask about Islam..so may allah guide you and make you a better Muslim. I hope inshallah Allah opens the doors for you to learn about your religion and opens your heart to practice it more correctly.
 

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