What should I want in an ideal marital partner? Advice Appreciated.

[Search]

:bism: (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

(Peace be upon you)

So, I have been confused about something - when should you search for a marital partner? I don't feel ready even though I want someone to whom I can make that commitment. Then there's the thing about how do I know is the right person to marry? I used to look for good character in a potential spouse, but the truth is that recent events in my life have made me realize I'm not a good judge of someone's character as I only see what I want to see? Recently, I have been dealing also with a little matter like heartbreak in spousal search, and it has made me question quite a lot like I don't even know myself anymore. I don't know...anyone have any good advice or nuggets of wisdom? I feel like such a lost soul, bless my heart, that I don't know what to make heads or tails of my life.

:wa: (And peace be upon you)

 

[strivingobserver98]

:wa:

The legend sister Search . Your posts are awesome masha Allah, keep it up.

These tips are really helpful: http://www.islamicboard.com/family-society/134321405-avoid-marrying-wrong-person.html

I do hope you find your one, and live a life of bliss with him. Best wishes in your searches sister Search . (< See what I did there )

May Allah grant you righteous pious spouse who will help you gain closer to Allah :swt:. Ameen.

 

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum

If you're already thinking about it, you're pretty much ready.

When I was about 15 years old, one of my older friends got married. Being young and not even interested in marriage, I asked how do you even know that's the right person??

The advice that stuck with me for the rest of my life was:

"You'll know you married the right person if when you look at this person he reminds you of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala."

And that's honestly the single most, best advice I ever needed.

Until then, in your sujuud, ask Allah to marry you to a servant beloved to Him, and to make you a wife deserving of such a gift inshallah.

May Allah make your affairs easy on you.

 

[anatolian]

I don't even know myself

Salam. Actually you have already leveled up a very important level then..Almost all of us walking around without knowing ourselves and most of us even dont know that we dont know ourselves..Next stage, you will know yourself inshallah

When you know yourself you will know whom you should marry I think..

 

[anatolian]

Ancient greek philosophers said "know yourself" and Rasulullah said "he who knows himself knows his Lord"

 

[greenhill]

Now I'm confused..



Hardest question. The more personal, the harder. This is probably the hardest of them all. I would say the deen must make up at least 50% of the criteria. The rest are things that make up the dunya. If the deen is the basis of the dunya you're on to a really good potential. Common interests, sense of humour, trust, are also important. The chemistry will come. I feel love is overrated, personally. Often leading to heartbreak. If a person fits the bill, then mention it. Don't be afraid of 'sharing'. He will reflect on it for sure, if he is mature about it he'll tell you honestly, if he is immature he'll probably take advantage. You'll soon find out.

But that is as is with the modern world where free mixing of the sexes are rife. How else can I advise?

Perhaps an arranged marriage might be an answer... does not seem such a bad idea when we are stuck..

I considered it if I could not find my own.. that was 23 years ago.. I am still with that same person that filled almost all the boxes..

eace:

 

[tooba ch]

Dear.. i am suffering from same situation. Listen ,dont be so panic. Just pray to Allah . And read surah inam. And when you reached at ayat in which two time the name of Allah appeared . Pray their for your future. ALLAH BLESS YOU