I can't stop cuddling my pillow like you all advised....

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I'm not sure if my plan to get married during college would work, though, because I got my mind set on marrying esma, and by the time I'm in college, she's still going to be in the 8th grade.....which isn't a legal age to get married....I suppose I could either forget about her, or just focus on hobbies, exercise, and studies so I don't think about girls too much.....
 
M.I.A. said:
...Maybe she is a hijabi..

Maybe he watches jojos bizarre adventure: diamond is unbreakable. (not a made up title, crazy Japanese people)

I dunno?
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Now I have to watch Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. I need a break from my Islamic studies.

*ducks from the inevitable "don't watch anime" post*
 
Huzaifah ibn Adam said:
Hectic...
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I have competed in dozens race events in my teen age. Hectic life?. Maybe. But this made me didn't think to have girlfriend in my teen age. However, my dad passed away when I was in mid of age 20 when I began to move to autorally.

Losing my dad made me retire from automotive activity because as amateur, my sponsor was my dad. Retire from racing made me lost the channel to express my youth spirit. And I suddenly I felt lonely and began to think to have someone. So in the late of age 21 I proposed marriage to a girl, which I came alone without my mother. And it made my mother very angry.
 
Mustafa16 said:
I'm not sure if my plan to get married during college would work, though, because I got my mind set on marrying esma, and by the time I'm in college, she's still going to be in the 8th grade.....which isn't a legal age to get married....I suppose I could either forget about her, or just focus on hobbies, exercise, and studies so I don't think about girls too much.....
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Think of it realistically. Part of your obsession is part of your autism. You know it, I know it. You have a tenancy to become latched onto one thing and you will become obsessed with that thing. Right now it is girls and right now it is this particular girl. Remember your autism and remember that you DO have the strength to overcome the obsessive component of it.

You need a new obsession, one that is beneficial to you. What else do you like to do, or have you thought about exploring in the past?
 
Little_Lion said:
Think of it realistically. Part of your obsession is part of your autism. You know it, I know it. You have a tenancy to become latched onto one thing and you will become obsessed with that thing. Right now it is girls and right now it is this particular girl. Remember your autism and remember that you DO have the strength to overcome the obsessive component of it.

You need a new obsession, one that is beneficial to you. What else do you like to do, or have you thought about exploring in the past?
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writing poems, writing stories, debating people on politics, doing research, reading novels, etc.
 
Little_Lion said:
Now I have to watch Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. I need a break from my Islamic studies.

*ducks from the inevitable "don't watch anime" post*
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..don't watch anime..

also to keep relevant Japanese culture is why giant pillows with anime characters on them exist.

...never watch anime.
 
Mustafa16 said:
...pretending it is the girl I told you all about (Esma)......
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Which one was that? I've lost count. Have you considered joining the French Foreign Legion (you know, to forget)?

Seriously, you need a hobby.
 
Huzaifah ibn Adam said:
Are your novels available online, sister?
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They used to be, but they are now out of print. I would be hesitant to post up the PDF of them, because though they are meant for young readers (10-13) they are VERY un-Islamic. I wrote them before reverting and they deal a lot with spirits and such. They're sort of a happy dystopian (yes, even a post-apocalyptic world was a happy one for me) version of His Dark Materials, if you are familiar with that series.
 
jabeady said:
Which one was that? I've lost count. Have you considered joining the French Foreign Legion (you know, to forget)?

Seriously, you need a hobby.
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the girl who is 12 years old who rejected me because I was much older than her is Esma.....same girl as yesterday....and on again and off again for the past 2 years...
 
You were childhood friends. Parents allow children to play together because they are innocent at that time. Since than you both have grown up and are adult by Islam's criteria. She is a matured young Muslimah with a respected father (imam) in the community. You need to stop fantasizing about a non-mahram in a haram way like that. You dishonor her and her chastity with your less than noble thoughts. How would you like some guy thinking like that about your sister?

Talk to your parents, if they don't listen then talk to local imam to see if they can talk to your parents. If marriage is not an option then see if engagement is an option. If not then, then fasts and try to focus on your studies. Stop obsessing over her like a bollywood brainwashed fan. Either ask for her hand honorably and if that is not an option than stop sullying her persona with your obsessive thoughts.
 
:salam:

Don't watch anime. It will most likely fuel your nafs/desires.

And Allah :swt: knows best.
 
Little_Lion said:
They used to be, but they are now out of print. I would be hesitant to post up the PDF of them, because though they are meant for young readers (10-13) they are VERY un-Islamic. I wrote them before reverting and they deal a lot with spirits and such. They're sort of a happy dystopian (yes, even a post-apocalyptic world was a happy one for me) version of His Dark Materials, if you are familiar with that series.
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SubhanAllah, so similar to me. I wrote one novel (around 300 pages) when I was around 15, unfortunately dealt with things like sorcerers and such so I deleted them. Now I write things which are worthwhile.

His Dark Materials was one of my favourite book trilogies when I was in my early teens, I was blissfully unaware of the controversies surrounding them.

To the OP, [MENTION=38474]Mustafa16[/MENTION], akhi, if marriage is not an option, then please find a way to distract yourself from thinking about girls - youth is such a valuable part of one's life, those who worshipped Allah swt in their youth will be of the seven groups under His Shade on the Day of Judgement, don't you want to do whatever you can to attain that?

I'm the same age as you, and yes the idea of marriage is a wonderful part of life many of us look forward to, but it is a 'means' not a 'goal'. Getting married of itself will not bring you fulfilment or happiness, that inner completion should come from within yourself, independent of external circumstances.

Besides, marriage is rizq, Allah swt has written when you will get married and you will only get married then. So focus on things you can change for the better - yourself, your deen, write poetry or stories, ect. Make yourself so preoccupied with the deen and with bettering yourself than anyone who comes into your life some time in the future is an extension of that.

Try and make your relationship with Allah swt your focal point, and not your relationship with an aspect of creation.
 
islamirama said:
You were childhood friends. Parents allow children to play together because they are innocent at that time. Since than you both have grown up and are adult by Islam's criteria. She is a matured young Muslimah with a respected father (imam) in the community. You need to stop fantasizing about a non-mahram in a haram way like that. You dishonor her and her chastity with your less than noble thoughts. How would you like some guy thinking like that about your sister?

Talk to your parents, if they don't listen then talk to local imam to see if they can talk to your parents. If marriage is not an option then see if engagement is an option. If not then, then fasts and try to focus on your studies. Stop obsessing over her like a bollywood brainwashed fan. Either ask for her hand honorably and if that is not an option than stop sullying her persona with your obsessive thoughts.
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this isn't the same girl.....I don't even know what this girl's father does for a living, and I've never met him....and I met this girl 2 years ago.....
 
Mustafa16 said:
this isn't the same girl.....I don't even know what this girl's father does for a living, and I've never met him....and I met this girl 2 years ago.....
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If this is the girl you mentioned previously,
"the girl who is 12 years old who rejected me because I was much older than her"

Then why are you daydreaming/fantasizing about her? That's not very islamic bro. You should move on and find other ways to occupy your time and mind. Engage in more ibadah and especially dhikr when those thoughts start to emerge.
 
I would cuddle my pillow too, if it was pink and had the picture of strawberry milk on it
 

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