I feel so lost and confused?

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m0506

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Assalam u Alaikum everyone,
So recently i've just been feeling an unrest in myself and very confused. I really like this guy who i know from work aswell as other places and we were speaking, as good mates i suppose? Our conversations were ongoing and we spoke about every little thing to more serious things aswell and i think we both understood each other quite well too. Recently the person has stopped speaking to me for no reason and it's making me feel very lost and confused. I feel very conscious and always see him about but never have the courage to just go up and ask and he's also deleted me over his social media accounts that we used to speak on barr one. I really like this guy and my main attraction towards him was how different he was and how well he was trying to perfect himself into a good muslim. Infact, because of him i started trying even harder to offer my prayers and better myself in my religion and now suddenly because he's stopped speaking to me I feel very confused. I don't know what to and just to state, before we spoke on chat we used to speak at person however as soon as we started speaking over chat he stopped speaking to me in person? He even opened up to me about some stuff which he wouldn't share with anyone and now this sudden change really got me feeling lost. I know if something is meant to be it will be but i'm unable to get him out of my mind. Sometimes i feel like he feels a similar way however other times he completely avoids me as ignorant he's ashamed of speaking to me? Can anyone advise me on this please? Jazak'Allah Khair
 
I mean, you said he's trying to perfect himself as a Muslim. Maybe he decided he should talk to girls less. Anyway, if you're in love with him or something then why not just get married to him.?
 
wa'alaikum as'salaam,

It could be a number of things. It could be as others said, that he is becoming more committed to his deen and if that is so then he is avoiding talking to females. Although, I would think it would have been appropriate for him to mention that before cutting communications off. The other thing could be that he may see this getting serious and he may not be ready for a serious relationship and doesn't know how to communicate that to you so decided to just avoid you instead. Or it could be that his family found a suitable girl for him so he decided to eliminate all other contacts with any other females. All we can do here is speculate. Best thing would be for you to approach him and ask him if everything ok and what caused him to stop talking to you.
 
Yeah. Exactly what the previous guy said.
Plus, if you really like him, ask him to marry you.

The Messenger of Allah said: “There is nothing like marriage, for two who love one another.”
[Sunan Ibn Majah]
 
A'salamu alaykum, sister. Free mixing in our Deen is not permissible nor acceptable. Both men and women should maintain hayaa, which can't be done when you freely chat with each other in private (even if you think it is just as friends). You mentioned he was trying to be a better Muslim, and so are you, so this is a wise decision on his part to stop contact. You can't achieve a halal relationship through haram means. If you want to pursue your relationship with him (by getting married) you should ask him to contact your Wali, and go from there. Otherwise, cutting contact is really the best for you both, and the best for your Imaan. May Allah make it easy for you, sister. JazakAllahu khayr.
 
aaj said:
wa'alaikum as'salaam,

It could be a number of things. It could be as others said, that he is becoming more committed to his deen and if that is so then he is avoiding talking to females. Although, I would think it would have been appropriate for him to mention that before cutting communications off. The other thing could be that he may see this getting serious and he may not be ready for a serious relationship and doesn't know how to communicate that to you so decided to just avoid you instead. Or it could be that his family found a suitable girl for him so he decided to eliminate all other contacts with any other females. All we can do here is speculate. Best thing would be for you to approach him and ask him if everything ok and what caused him to stop talking to you.
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its best to leave without saying anything, "most" of the time people fall back into what they are trying to get out of by letting one know about not talking ever again (one will always try to make them stay, or say will stop talking slowly and that time will never come) Agree with the rest of the post.
 
m0506 said:
Assalam u Alaikum everyone,
So recently i've just been feeling an unrest in myself and very confused. I really like this guy who i know from work aswell as other places and we were speaking, as good mates i suppose? Our conversations were ongoing and we spoke about every little thing to more serious things aswell and i think we both understood each other quite well too. Recently the person has stopped speaking to me for no reason and it's making me feel very lost and confused. I feel very conscious and always see him about but never have the courage to just go up and ask and he's also deleted me over his social media accounts that we used to speak on barr one. I really like this guy and my main attraction towards him was how different he was and how well he was trying to perfect himself into a good muslim. Infact, because of him i started trying even harder to offer my prayers and better myself in my religion and now suddenly because he's stopped speaking to me I feel very confused. I don't know what to and just to state, before we spoke on chat we used to speak at person however as soon as we started speaking over chat he stopped speaking to me in person? He even opened up to me about some stuff which he wouldn't share with anyone and now this sudden change really got me feeling lost. I know if something is meant to be it will be but i'm unable to get him out of my mind. Sometimes i feel like he feels a similar way however other times he completely avoids me as ignorant he's ashamed of speaking to me? Can anyone advise me on this please? Jazak'Allah Khair
Click to expand...

Walaykum musalaam

It seems like he came along to maybe push you more towards the correct path. However, when you both got chatting away and things became out of control (by this I mean you shared your inner secrets with each other). It seems it was something that you both lost control of during that period and probably shared too much between yourselves. After which either the brother realised you have feelings for him or he has them for you and felt it was best to move away. It could also be possible that he felt stupid sharing everything with you and now is avoiding you out of embarrassment. Lastly he realised it was wrong to get so close to you and has repented and moved on. Allah knows best but I would say pray to rakats of istikara to seek guidance from Allah on whether you should approach the brother again and take it from there. But always remember the third person between a man and woman is the shaitaan.
 
Regrets1 said:
its best to leave without saying anything, "most" of the time people fall back into what they are trying to get out of by letting one know about not talking ever again (one will always try to make them stay, or say will stop talking slowly and that time will never come) Agree with the rest of the post.
Click to expand...

I agree. Sometimes it's easier to quietly exit without saying anything otherwise the other side makes it super hard for you. Long time a go at one of my previous jobs a co-worker of mine was saying she was going to leave her bf and she told him about it. And he started crying and saying don't leave me and all that and so she decided to stay. When in a relationship, you already are easily influenced by the other person and more likely to listen to them so it makes it harder when they know you and know how to use that against you to try to make you do as they want.
 
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