I want to take advice......I am willing to learn about Islam
Alhamdulillah, brother. So here is my sincere advice to you,
Firstly, zhulm (oppression) is a major sin that Allah will punish for in the Hereafter, and that is His promise. You need to focus less on the zhulm that is being committed and by who. What do you get by obsessing about these people? Focus on your Ummah that is suffering. How come you hope suffering upon your Ummah? Would you ever wish it upon your mother, father, brother, sister, or even your own child? Start associating yourself with your Ummah, and in sha Allah your lack of empathy will disappear. They are not separate of you. You are a part of the body of this Ummah who is being oppressed and ridiculed. If someone stabbed your hand, would you feel it in your body? Yes, of course you would. Do you know why you are the body of this Ummah? Each and every one of your, and mine, and every Muslim's sins, causes their oppression. No, it is not caused by tyrants who drop bombs on them, this is all superficial.
We are the cause of this Ummah's suffering. Change yourself and you will help your Ummah. Focus on that right now because that is the most important.
Stop playing scenarios in your mind, brother. I know this is a problem that you have been having trouble with for a long, long time. At least recognise that these are your nafs and shayateen playing with your mind. They love it. You let them in, and they love you for it. They are happy, they are comfortable, kick them out. There is constantly an Angel (alayhi salam) and a shayateen fighting over you. The Angel wants you to do good, be good, think good, help you go to Jannah. And the shayateen, it wants you to do bad, think bad, will it succeed in taking you Jahannam? So which one will you listen to? Which one will you give honour to? As soon as a scenario comes to your mind, good or bad, please don't continue it, just let it out. You need to be realistic and really start preparing for the Day when hearts will tremble, the Day none of us can escape from. You need to stop day dreaming, it is hurting your soul, my brother.
Do you want your Du'as accepted? I know, from a previous conversation I had with you, that you don't believe Du'as can help you, we take refuge in Allah from this mindset. Du'as do help you. And do you know why you are not seeing your Du'as being answered? It is because you eat Haram, and Allah knows best. But eating Haram is a barrier between having your Du'as answered. I know you live in the USA, so either buy Zabiha Halal meat and cook it at home, or don't eat meat. But I urge you not to eat non-Zabiha.
Would you ever commit zina? We seek refuge in Allah. Before you read any more, think about this question. Zina can be committed not only by unlawful sex, it can be committed with your eyes, and your ears too. Brother, don't allow shaytan into your mind. Listening to music is by consensus Haram. And not without reason, music is from shaytan, it leads one to do the most vile of actions, and it causes forgetfulness of Allah.
As for losing hope and faith in Allah, this is kufr. Do you know what the difference between a Muslim and a kafir is?
One sinful Muslim is worth more to Allah Subhana wa Ta'ala than every single kafir that has ever lived, is living, and ever will live on this Earth. This is our honour, brother. Don't dare lose hope in the One who created you, sustains you, and with every moment is giving you a chance to repent. SubhanAllah. You are reading this with your eyes, by the Permission of Allah. Can you imagine if right this moment, you become blind? Don't dare think it is not possible, because it is. Each blessing you are ungrateful for, is a blessing that can be taken away from you in less than a heartbeat. Only disbelievers lose hope in Allah. He has surely been Merciful to you more than others who fear Allah so much that they will gladly take the torture of this dunya for His sake. May we be among those with Taqwa.
You love this dunya while the Hereafter is better and more enduring. I think you forget that this is our temporary home, it is a deception though you can't perceive. Allah doesn't tell us not to be concerned about the dunya. He guides us through this deception. This world is our prison, and in Jannah, in sha Allah, we will be free. But if you want to make this world your jannah, then be prepared for an Eternal Prison in a place that will increase the pain you feel now to beyond what is imaginable, and there will be no death, and no escape from it.
Without Allah, and without Islam, you are in a fog. And the believers are above you seeing clearly. Islam is our honour and when you realise this, by Allah, you will hold on to it so tight.
Brother, you are an AbdAllah, whether you believe, or whether you disbelieve. We all are. Whether you choose to obey His commands, or you arrogantly deny the clear signs, you are a slave. So be a slave of your desires, of this dunya, or be a slave of the Most Merciful, the One who Forgives, the One who Loves you dearly, who cares for you, who sustains you.
Why do we have rules? Because these rules save us and help us. Allah isn't in need of any of these rules, or our worship,
it is a Mercy to us. Do you think you, and everyone, would be better off without these? Think about this. No rule of modesty, none of charity, no command that prohibits zina, or rape, murder. Do you even know that these 'commands' which you question are basic human rights? They raise our status as Muslim's so high above humanity. So why do you want to be brought low by disobeying them?
I want to make a point to you about Qadr. 'One of the Sahaba asked RasoolAllah (salaAllahu alayhi wa salam) one day, Ya RasoolAllah.. If we are already destined for either Heaven or Hell, then why must we do good deeds? RasoolAllah told him, you will be helped for the deeds that will either take you to Heaven or Hell.' This should motivate you to hasten to do good. Do you want to be among those who are destined for the Hellfire? Or do you want to be among those who are destined to have a bright light upon them on Yawmul al Qiyama, who literally get to walk through the gates of Jannah with our beloved Nabi, and
who get to actually see Allah Subhana wa Ta'ala.
Allah knows best.
That was my naseeha to you, and my advice to you, if you will follow it is this,
For one week, pray your 5 daily prayers with concentration, and read Qur'an for 10 minutes a day, if you know Arabic and if not, listen to Qur'an while reading translation. That is only one hour out of your day. Will you do this for me, brother? I will check back with you in one week, in sha Allah.
I want to recommend to you a free, online, Islamic learning Institute for men. Would you be willing to do that to gain some knowledge of the Deen?
JazakAllahu khayr for reading this. I worry for you, may Allah make it so easy for you, brother. Please make an effort to come back to the good Path.