Do brothers tell sisters to cover up?

[noraina]

Wa alaykum assalam,

I am a sister, but....

If a man was my mahram, my father, brother, ect, then I would definitely accept and take into account what they said about the way I dressed - it is their 'protective jealousy' towards the women of their family and this is a wonderful thing.

If he wasn't a mahram, then absolutely NO. I think it's very inappropriate for man to comment on an unrelated female's clothes or way of dressing, I could never even imagine myself saying to a brother his clothes are too tight or his beard is too short or whatever, lol. There is the commandment to give advice when one sees something wrong, but this shouldn't mean one compromises the regulations concerning gender interaction either.

However if it was a sister who gently advised me, I'd be more than happy to take what she says into account. Like sister herb, when I began wearing the hijab I hadn't ever heard of pins and the scarf was slipping all over my head. This wonderful sister I didn't even know handed me a pin from her own hijab, may Allah bless her.

 

[Umm♥Layth]

(1) I have observed that women have less problems with heat when it is warm and are easily freezing when it is just slightly breezing. So basically sub'han'Allah the body of women are created in such a manner that during winter they can wear clothes, while men can withstand cold better. In the summer they can withstand the heat better while men are sweating like crazy .

I dunno what kind of women you are around but you've never been in the women's section of the masjid in the middle of summer....spice galore LOL! ;D I personally sweat tons and it was not uncommon to come home with my full back wet from 110F weather outside after running a few errands. I do like the sauna type feeling so I don't mind the heat itself, but with an abaya or layers of clothing, it can be very tough. Nice abayas are so pricey in western countries. My husband was totally shocked when I took him shopping with me yesterday lol. A nice, breathable abaya for the summer will run you at least $100. You can get synthetic fabric ones for $60.

 

[M.I.A.]

(1) I have observed that women have less problems with heat when it is warm and are easily freezing when it is just slightly breezing. So basically sub'han'Allah the body of women are created in such a manner that during winter they can wear clothes, while men can withstand cold better. In the summer they can withstand the heat better while men are sweating like crazy . I ALSO have discovered why it is so important to have clothes to have pockets of air between the cloth and the body. During winter it acts like air that is frozen which is extra isolation and during summer breezes can more easily come with under the clothes and cool down the body. So benefit upon benefit to have loosely fitted clothes.

(2) I agree with you on that. In the Qur'an Allah(swt) FIRST talks about men to lower their gaze. Their is even a logic in this. There are women who dress outrageously but just not even looking at those women, i have no problems at all. In another topic i believe it was @sister herb or you who said that dirty men will always be dirty. Now a days as a Muslim for me it is rather hard as it is very difficult to be outside as everywhere you look are indecent things to see. So i just try to adapt my schedule when to go outside, as there are certain time scoops that the eye of the tornado is active you could say. For example Saturday morning when the shops JUST open almost nobody is outside..they are still sleeping or just waking up. You can go quickly to the shop ..do your shopping and go back home. Evaded much trouble . Or there are primary roads and those back alley's which nobody walks..also eye of the tornado . Sleep early and wake up early during the night you can take a walk..it is so calm outside (also eye of the tornado). Or even during summers around 05:00 o'clock ..it is very nice and cool outside. Blessed moments.

When you point at something or somebody for the problems, know three fingers are pointing back at you (directed at those people who always want to blame women for the problems).

im at a stage where i feel that even if i farted in the eye of the tornado someone would point it out..

its just a phase god willing.

also learned not to fart so there's a plus..

people keep farting so its a minus.
..
..
the opposition is great.

 

[Simple_Person]

I dunno what kind of women you are around but you've never been in the women's section of the masjid in the middle of summer....spice galore LOL! ;D I personally sweat tons and it was not uncommon to come home with my full back wet from 110F weather outside after running a few errands. I do like the sauna type feeling so I don't mind the heat itself, but with an abaya or layers of clothing, it can be very tough. Nice abayas are so pricey in western countries. My husband was totally shocked when I took him shopping with me yesterday lol. A nice, breathable abaya for the summer will run you at least $100. You can get synthetic fabric ones for $60.

I must say some masjid are kind of cheap. They gather money for electricity, water and such during Ramadan and khutbahs as often the masjid it self is already bought so no rent. Yet they do not turn on airco and such. We must spend money, but don't waste money. This basic principle I think often we Muslims don't understand. Allah has provided the money but it is not spent went it should be.

People who are like that often will also lose that money one way or the other if they just keep saving while often desiring to buy something necessary but still don't do it. If you do not use it Allah (swt) will take it away from us and give it to somebody who does use it. I have seen this happen with a friend of mine. He always said he wanted to buy this and that but still did not do it. He asked me for advice what TV was a good TV but still did not buy it. One day somebody broke in to his house during the day when he was away and stole all of his money.

BTW, why don't you buy them online for a other country? ..or just a weekend to the Middle East where those abaya I ASSUME are way more cheaper.

 

[noraina]

I dunno what kind of women you are around but you've never been in the women's section of the masjid in the middle of summer....spice galore LOL! ;D I personally sweat tons and it was not uncommon to come home with my full back wet from 110F weather outside after running a few errands. I do like the sauna type feeling so I don't mind the heat itself, but with an abaya or layers of clothing, it can be very tough. Nice abayas are so pricey in western countries. My husband was totally shocked when I took him shopping with me yesterday lol. A nice, breathable abaya for the summer will run you at least $100. You can get synthetic fabric ones for $60.

Last summer the temperatures were running high and I felt like I was melting. It was also Ramadan around that time...I was seriously considering becoming a nocturnal creature, hiding away from the sunlight.

I hear you though, sadly abayas don't grow on trees. I have a couple made up of several layers of chiffon, they ain't cheap but they are extremely modest and 'flowy' but they are also very comfortable during the summer alhamdulillah.

 

[*charisma*]

Are you serious? Look at the topic name + your first comment.

Topic name: do brothers tell sisters to cover up?
Your first comment: So you see a muslimah not properly covered/wearing hijaab improperly/etc...do you say anything to her?

There are sisters who are wearing hijab, but have such tight pants you would think if she would bend, her pants would be torn =_=!. This is my argument about. If a sister is properly covered with abaya for example but hijab is forgotten at some part or put on wrong, it is not my job to correct her. For me if i even see in the distance that a woman is sitting there, i already look down till i pass her by.

While you out of the blue has suddenly made it as if this topic was about a descent muslimah that just forget to cover some part of her hair =_=!. If this whole topic is about that what you just mentioned, i would like i said already have walked by her not even looking at her. I would already be SUPER satisfied that she respects her body and has shame to cover up properly but just forget some piece of hair sticking out. Islam is not about STRICT ruling and we all make mistakes and she must have forgotten about covering that part of her hair. People doing things out of ignorance are not looked down at you know. In the Middle East the ALL know they MUST cover their hair. But this stupid fashion from Iran with leaving out some part of their hair because it has become fashion among women =_=!. These women i would not even speak to, as they KNOW they are not allowed to do that, so it is not out of ignorance. As own family members do that. So what do i say about as they see me as if i am a extremist if i would bring up such a thing. Well ALHAMDULILLAH that every person is judged for their own deeds and according to their knowledge.

So i would say read your own topic first and than read my comment. OR change your topic name and first comment and i will in'sha'Allah also remove my comment..as it will also become off topic.

No your answer was raw, so I'll leave it. I was just trying to see your thought process. It seems that no matter what degree a woman is wearing or not wearing the hijaab properly, you still will not say anything to her, but you will be left with a certain judgement about her based on how she is dressed, even without knowing her? Am I assuming correctly here?

 

[Simple_Person]

No your answer was raw, so I'll leave it. I was just trying to see your thought process. It seems that no matter what degree a woman is wearing or not wearing the hijaab properly, you still will not say anything to her, but you will be left with a certain judgement about her based on how she is dressed, even without knowing her? Am I assuming correctly here?

When a sister is dressed appropriately but just made a mistake regarding her hijab ALHAMDULILLAH to that. Because she just made a mistake unknowingly. However this sister is aware of what Allah at least expects from her. Also not my place to correct her as I might further make her uncomfortable a stranger coming towards her. I have also observed that when you (men) look at somebody in this case pious women they immidiatly are alert and easily scared compared to the women where the fitrah is messed up. With the women when their fitrah is messed up they like your stare if you as a man yourself are handsome. They only are grossed out you looking at them when you yourself are not handsome.

Try this method even with ducks...yes ducks. Walk past them without looking and they will stay at their spot and also experiment with them by just walking past them as you have done earlier but keep looking at them they get scared and get away from you while you did not even approach them just kept walking.

The other sister with the tight pants well this sister knows for bigger part what is going on. I mean I am a guy and know back in the past when I past a group of girls or women and they were checking me out I felt grossed about it they checking me out. These days i on purpose walk to the other side of the street. A woman who doesn't have that feeling while wearing such tight pants will for sure NOT listen to a strangers advice. As she knows better than me and has experience more often than me the stares of men and lustsffull eyes of theirs yet "likes" their nasty behavior. Or else she would have covered it up but the fitrah(human nature) has gone messed up.

So if you are alluding to this than my answer is yes.

 

[talibilm]

I tell to my daughters if their dupatta or hijab for breasts are not to the awrah in front of my grown up Son or me. But the head can be uncovered ONLY in front of us, The maghrams

Once I walked to the masjid in a muslim locality (in India) a grown up girl (to my height) was obstructing my path with her game and I did say ( by not looking at her ) that Muslim women atleast respect the dignity of being Locality of Muslims by wearing a hijab since it was just few meters from masjid .

I think i did right adjoining virtue & forbidding evil, Allahu aalam.

 

[*charisma*]

The think what would come to my mind if some brother comes to correct my dressing is... "so he didn´t lower his gaze then but stared at me".

Should I then correct him that staring isn´t allowed either?

A better question would be, is it your place to tell her anything as a non mahram?

I've never even seen a sheikh or imam at the masjid correct a sister who walks in with inappropriate attire.

My husband won't simply tell me, if he sees my hijab loose or my clothes too snug, he'll fix it for me LOL. My dad always commented on my attire growing up and my family isn't Muslim. That's being a true guardian of women, imo.

I would not welcome a strange man telling me how to dress, he shouldn't even be looking at me, let alone talking to me, but if it is a mahram male, I will consider and in most cases take action .

If he wasn't a mahram, then absolutely NO. I think it's very inappropriate for man to comment on an unrelated female's clothes or way of dressing, I could never even imagine myself saying to a brother his clothes are too tight or his beard is too short or whatever, lol. There is the commandment to give advice when one sees something wrong, but this shouldn't mean one compromises the regulations concerning gender interaction either.

What would you sisters actually do though if a man did approach you about your hijaab, whether it be to notify you that something is showing or to advise etc. Do you respond to him, do you ignore him..what?

Also, say a nonMuslim man approached you, and asked you a question about hijaab. Would it make any difference in how you feel?? Would you answer him?

 

[Simple_Person]

What would you sisters actually do though if a man did approach you about your hijaab, whether it be to notify you that something is showing or to advise etc. Do you respond to him, do you ignore him..what?

Also, say a nonMuslim man approached you, and asked you a question about hijaab. Would it make any difference in how you feel?? Would you answer him?

Their handbags are full of pepper spray bottles :Emoji7::Emoji7::Emoji7:

 

[sister herb]

I am not sure what to do if some brother really come to give some advice as it never has happened. Brothers here greet me on the streets with their salam as they know me - because of my earlier work as councelor of immigrants and refugees but they are always very polite.

And then are those non-Muslim men whose want to ask or say something about hijab... they usually only want to mock me. As br Simple_Person just said... yep, I have a handbag with it´s "feminine secrets".

 

[Simple_Person]

As the sister said.."feminine secrets" carried under the abaya.

 

[aaj]

I'll say this, most hijabis will be more welcoming of non muslim telling them then a muslim brother. There are hijabis who are best friends with non-muslim males and avoid muslim brothers like the plague.

 

[Simple_Person]

I'll say this, most hijabis will be more welcoming of non muslim telling them then a muslim brother. There are hijabis who are best friends with non-muslim males and avoid muslim brothers like the plague.

This i also do wonder why.

(Offtopic). Among the Kurds for example, if a male Kurd wants to go ask the family to marry the daughter, they ask A LOT of gold as dowry. However if they marry off the daughter to a non-Kurd..suddenly all this gold is not asked..=_=!. That is why i have given up on Kurdish women to marry. Too much culture and financial hardship.

 

[Scimitar]

Assalamu Alaikum


So you see a muslimah not properly covered/wearing hijaab improperly/etc...do you say anything to her?

It would be tough considering that she is not my relative AND uncovered.

Scimi

 

[*charisma*]

The reason I'm asking all these questions is because I see two HUGE issues here. I wonder if anyone can identify them

 

[Scimitar]

Didn't I just identify both? or am I missing something lol

Scimi

 

[*charisma*]

Didn't I just identify both? or am I missing something lol

Scimi

Everyone is hovering around it, but no one has pinpointed it exactly.

 

[Umm♥Layth]

What would you sisters actually do though if a man did approach you about your hijaab, whether it be to notify you that something is showing or to advise etc. Do you respond to him, do you ignore him..what?

Also, say a nonMuslim man approached you, and asked you a question about hijaab. Would it make any difference in how you feel?? Would you answer him?

If I was walking, I'd keep walking. If he stopped me, I'd acknowledge his comment, then ask him why he was looking at me in the first place. It isn't a non-mahram's place to make such corrections. Also, from what I can see here, the correction won't even be from a place of caring and compassion, but a self righteous women-are-the-source-of-all-evil-because-I-misunderstand-my-religion-and-the-piece-of-skin-showing-is-damnation-for-all-men, place. Thanks, but no thanks.

 

[Indefinable]

Assalamu Alaikum


So you see a muslimah not properly covered/wearing hijaab improperly/etc...do you say anything to her?

A year ago, I had a Shaykh tell me not to wear rings in public. And I took his advice.

Alhamdulillaah.

I've seen a lot of young sisters dress inappropriately, however, when one tries to give them naseeha it is rejected with venom.