Me: "Well I don't like strange men approaching me for anything, how would you like it if a strange guy approached your wife to tell her that she has her dress in her pants, he'd have to look at her butt!"
Why does a man have to look/stare/focus at a woman's private parts in order to tell her something is wrong with her hijaab?
If someone is at a distance and something is wrong with their garment, I'll be able to see it quite easily without focusing my attention at that certain body part. Once this girl was standing next to me, and I glanced over and saw that her abayah's buttons at the top weren't buttoned and her scarf was not covering her chest. Her eyes were adorned in makeup and her posture looked like she couldn't care less either about how she was dressed. So I was thinking should I tell her? because she doesn't even look like she even cares. I'm also generally quite a shy person so here I was thinking I'll just ignore her and let her continue her day as she is, if she cares she'll fix it herself. After a few seconds debating with myself, I thought,
what's the right thing to do despite how I feel or how I'm judging her?? So I simply leaned in to her and I said sis your chest is exposed and that's it. She looked down and fixed it. It was really that simple. So had I not said anything and brothers saw her skin exposed like that, I may get some blame for it because I didn't speak out against something which was wrong when I had the chance to.
DH: "You are supposed to tell her in the best way possible and for women, telling them on the spot will only result in some sort of drama because women tend to be emotional about this subject. If it is an ongoing thing, you'd have to find the right way to address the situation. It will be difficult though, because they choose to dress that way knowing that it isn't appropriate. If it is somebody I know, I will address it, but it still doesn't turn out pretty though."
This exemplifies a reaction, which we pointed out earlier as a problem when it comes to informing sisters. Brothers don't tell them because of sisters being dramatic, which they prefer to avoid. So their intention to say something is still there. They want to say something to protect them, but don't because they don't want to get in trouble ;D So I think in that regard, sisters are harsh.
Not true. Walking in skin head territory with Islamic attire is completely uncomfortable lol, if comfort was my end goal,I would not wear it. But my end goal is actually to be properly covered as Allah asked me to be. I make sure everything is fastened and in its place before leaving the house every time so I have no slip ups. I got rid of the stuff that doesn't work well (like button up abayas/jilbabs) and I layer where need be so nothing has a chance of sticking out.
I'm not talking about wearing hijaab. I'm talking about attire issues. I'm not saying it's between not wearing hijaab and wearing hijaab. It's between having an exposed body part and having someone bring it to your attention, or walking that way until you notice it without a brother bringing it to your attention (considering he was the only option). Two different things. And if I'm correct, you'd prefer to walk that way without a brother bringing it to your attention.
Yes, which is why I posed a question earlier. Is it really the clothing that needs to be addressed here or should we be reaching out in another way? It's like telling a smoker they shouldn't smoke and listing all the health hazards, which they already know about. It doesn't work. A different approach has to be taken, in my opinion. That's if one really cares to help change happen.
Or telling a fat person to start a diet ;D Yes, there has to be some art form to it..so I hope we can all brainstorm because I while I think new ideas can help with "hijaab issues" I also think it can help in other aspects too, even with sister-sister interactions.
nope, but I do know some brothers who would compliment Muslimahs to get them to wear Hijab lol. Like "You look better if you wore a hijab".
It's obvious they should know what they are suppose to do, I guess I'm pretty bad with Woman so it'll be more awkward to actually say that directly and I'm more of an indirect person towards people I do not know well. I know a really fired up Muslimah who have a long list of arguments on hand if you even dare to question it.
It's the same with asking people whether they do Salat or not(without build or leading questions), you are questioning them and it makes them agitated because it's a personal and emotional thing. I'd rather invite them to Salat knowing they would not go but worth the try anyway. It's frustrating at times but you remind yourself that Allah gave you Hidayah and thats why you are doing certain things that other people did not do. He can also take that Hidayah back or that person who does not follow Islam properly may get Hidayah from Allah we don't know. Allahu'alam.
Well, I'll tell you this. When I was in my teens, I didn't wear the hijaab. My family was not really religious, but subconciously I knew it was an obligation for muslimahs to wear it. I still dressed modestly but not Islamically modest if that makes sense. When I started to get into Islam and learn about it, I became more aware that this was a duty I needed to do, but my faith was still not there yet because there was no attachment to the idea of wearing hijaab, that is, until a brother put it in perspective for me. This brother beautified the hijaab for me in a way that made it seem like hijaabis were the hoorulayn of this dunyaa. He never once belittled me for not wearing hijaab, nor complimented me on my beauty if I did wear it. He also didn't criticize non-hijaabis or said anything to intentionally coerce me into wearing hijaab. But what he did do was turn the focus on hijaabis themselves. On the topic, he said "When I see a niqaabi, I think of how beautiful she is, not due to the physicality or anything, but because she reminds me of Allah. Men complain about the beard or about the little things, but a woman who is able to cover her entire body for Allah's sake and be proud of that humbles me and makes me remember Him." He basically ripped apart every image of every "beautiful" woman I had in my mind and made me realize what true beauty is. What he said stuck with me for life and it was probably the first thing that pierced my heart and made me adore the idea of hijaab and love the concept. After that, it was about me building up my iman to the point that my love for the hijaab was far greater than my fears/love of dunyaa. I'd say it was about a year after that, I wore full hijaab and never went back or thought of taking it off because of how much love I had for it in my heart and how much my trust in Allah grew because of it. He didn't have to judge me to make me feel bad about myself in order to wear it. My hidaaya came through him. Had he not said anything, it may have taken a longer time to get to where I wanted to be in life. Allahu a'lem.
Today you see brothers and sisters criticizing hijaabis for how they dress or what they wear etc., but at the same time, they give their attention to nonMuslim women, they speak about what they find enticing about them, and they try to be "accepted" among them, whereas any woman who wears a piece of her faith on her exterior is vile, seductive, wrong, careless, etc. etc. because it's not worn 100% correctly. Why does it have to be that way?
Every hijaabi has a "hijaabi journey." We all go through one, and we're all on different stages. But ultimately, we are wearing it for the sake of Allah and we HAVE to have that deep love for it and tawakkul in order for it to be easy for us to wear. So maybe when a brother lets me know something is off about my hijaab, it makes me feel that he respects and cares about my dedication to wearing the hijaab properly, and therefore is helping me preserve what I began years ago. There are men or families who tell their women to remove their hijaab or to not even start wearing it. So I will never discourage, disparage, or cause controversy towards a muslim brother who has a lot more respect and adoration for it than I once did a long time ago. And I've also had male nonMuslims ask me about the hijaab and after I tell them about it they say "wow I wish that our women were like that too.."
Women are indirectly conditioning men to be a certain way where they have no say in how they dress or what they do, and I can understand that because some women are forced to dress a certain way and they want to break themselves free from the shackles of being told what to wear and how to dress, but there needs to be a balance because eventually what it kills off is the innate
jealousy/protectiveness in men towards the woman of the ummah. It reinforces the idea that women are only objects (but on the other side of the spectrum), rather than identifying them as sisters, wives, mothers etc. because why should they care about you if you want to be seen as a "free woman of this dunyaa who needs no one to tell her what to wear" and not as a mother, sister, wife in Islam? You already see the effects of this in the west.
Sorry for the long post
, however it is not right! :Emoji29: 
nope, but I do know some brothers who would compliment Muslimahs to get them to wear Hijab lol. Like "You look better if you wore a hijab".
