How and why do things such as rape and molesting happens?

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Sallams. I just want to make sure why things like this happen? I know there's a reason for everything.

Anyways I have a young family relative under 10 who's been molested and its traumatic for her. How would I consold her and such :(
What should she do and think about?
 
Stoic said:
Sallams. I just want to make sure why things like this happen? I know there's a reason for everything.

Anyways I have a young family relative under 10 who's been molested and its traumatic for her. How would I consold her and such :(
What should she do and think about?
Click to expand...

Brother if you just would take a little bit of time to contemplate what Islam says and why you would already have known the answer to it in'sha'Allah.

Rape, just like murder, or theft or whatever, we know as Muslims that this life is ALL a test. Now you have those people who have no patience or interest in to searching for answers they will say "but i did not ask to be tested". OOH NO, YOU DID ASK TO BE TESTED!!

"Indeed, we offered the Trust to the heavens and the earth and the mountains, and they declined to bear it and feared it; but man [undertook to] bear it. Indeed, he was unjust and ignorant." Qur'an 33:72

Some people would after rape curse at Allah and say what has Allah given me or let me witness this and that. The Day of Judgement is something so serious that on that day people will cry blood. The person that has gone through hardship including rape will be used for wiping out sins, purifying one and even elevating a person if they show patience. No individual gets a test or hardship more than what the soul can handle.

When somebody even has trauma's it is Allah who heals. I can speak out of experience that although when i sometimes think about it is logical that i feel hurt about my own past and what hardship i had go through, but i say ALHAMDULILLAH that i went through it. I wouldn't want it otherwise. Also based on logic, rationality and reason this is true. What do i mean? Just look at veterans of war. Many resort to drugs and alcohol to try to forget what they have seen in war. The horrible images that haunt them until they die. They are never the same anymore. Many these days just commit suicide afterwards. However war veterans with PTSD cannot heal such gruesome images, no psychiatrist can help them. This is because the healing of ones fitrah is ONLY threw the means of worship to Allah.

"And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me." Qur'an 51:56

When somebody heads the path of iblies, the fitrah(human nature) is being SLOWLY poisoned by money, greed, desires, envy etc. Rich people like hollywood stars when they reach big money is rather being catapulted towards distress, while the rest of the population is taking small steps. War veterans also are catapulted towards distress, because such horrible things are shown to them/they witness it and there is nothing that keeps them calm and heals them.

=======Hadith=====
"that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "Do you think that if there was a river by the gate of one of you, and he bathed in it five times each day that there would remain any filth on him?" They said: "No filth would stay on him." He said: "That is the parable of the five prayers, Allah wipes out the sins with them."

Source used: https://sunnah.com/urn/631010
================

We NEED the prayer..why do you think that although there are Christians (no offense) that say i am saved because i believe in Jesus Christ as my savior, yet they are empty inside. The peaceful heart and calm heart comes from Islamic prayer not because you just believe in Allah. What Christians do is dua, not prayer. So they ask or thank Allah but they are not worshiping Him. Prayer is fulfillment of what you as a human being were meant for..(worship) just like completing the deen (marriage). Even doing the prayer is not the same, doing the prayer with full concentration is when you taste the prayer. That is what you want to reach and whatever you have witnessed or will witness you are calm.

When the prayer was given to Rasullah(saws) it was also in such a time he was stricken with a lot of sadness. His wife (Khadija (ra) ) Allah took her soul and his uncle (Abu Talib) his soul was also taken.

These things are things one need to take the time to seriously think about it, to understand them. Stop fooling around with useless things (ie tv shows, music, video games, movies, social media etc..) and contemplate about Islam and in'sha'Allah you will get the understanding of A LOT of things from Allah Himself. I would advice you to every day just an hour do NOTHING. Go somewhere quite BY YOURSELF and just ponder.
 
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Stoic said:
Sallams. I just want to make sure why things like this happen? I know there's a reason for everything.

Anyways I have a young family relative under 10 who's been molested and its traumatic for her. How would I consold her and such :(
What should she do and think about?
Click to expand...

Children are often too trusting.. they would mostly be unaware of a situation as an adult or young person would. Often unaware of social nuance and body language.

This is not always the case..

And we all become a little different as we grow.

https://youtu.be/xS0XiOLW_Qk


I know people who have undergone abuse as children.. it seems adults are just as open to being taken on a whim as children are..

Everything is with allah swt i suppose.


And really if you could turn these people away.. you really should learn how to.

If its by rectifying your own actions then thats a learning experience..

Learn how to say no early on.

Learn how to say no as you grow up.. in all forbidden things.

To become trustworthy for the things behind you.


Sorry, it may sound patronising but you dont know how far personal responsibility stretches.

Well, thats how i see it anyway.

Its a very small world.
 
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Sorry akhi....but wut?!..I don't get wut ur saying it how it implies to my post
 
Why things like this happen?

...because children are easily persuaded.

Not all children mind you.. some have different temperaments.. and mannerisms.



I know there is a reason for everything.

..yes, there is a reason for everything.. if i could tell you the specific reason...

I would be pretty darn good.

..i am not.

There are often pillars of the community and predators of the community..

The likelyhood is that they know each other.

(get to the choppaaa!)

Anyways I have a young family relative under 10 who's been molested and its traumatic for her.-

...not really, the likelyhood is that it will be deliberately forgotton over time.. by both parties. Although if it has come to light then maybe it is worse if it is not resolved.. people wont forget..

They need something to talk about.



How can i console her?

Im not sure, this sort of thing does not happen often..

Try to not let her develop a victim mentality.

Which means empowering decision making.

Because in most cases..

Saying no is enough.

Hope that helps.

To be fair this is why i dont talk in public.. id probably get a slap after the 1st post.

Better to learn how not to get slapped rather than to learn why. (Not a Freudian slip but rather an analogy..probably )

I think its the fear of god that makes me..me..

Everything lurks just around the corner.
..
And your all so much quicker in the mouth.
..
I would guess its so much easier if you dont have to think about it.
 
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I am very, very sorry to hear this......but remember, brother, that this life is only temporary, and is a world of suffering, especially for the believer, and a stepping stone where one is tested in order to attain true happiness in the hereafter, and part of that means that people must be granted free will. Child molestors are amongst the worst of evildoers, but remember that after hardship comes ease, if not in this world, then in the hereafter for your relative. Child molestation is one of the worst things that can happen to a child, but with proper therapy and support from the family and proper education on how to deal with it, rather than telling the kid to "forgive" or "get over it", rather with comfort and making the home a place of refuge and listening to their struggles, and having a shoulder for them to cry on, they can overcome. I urge you to seek a therapist for your relative, and I pray and hope that she can overcome this. Like I said, human beings were granted with free will, and with the capability of being mentally ill. I don't know if the molestor was mentally ill with pedophilia, but regardless, the fact that he acted on this means he is a monster and his reckoning will be on the day of judgement. Allah's justice is the best of justice, Allah's mercy is the best of mercy, but at the same time remember that religion, while very helpful, is not the only cure, and Allah has endowed us with intellect to create cures for trauma even of the mind. I will pray for your relative, brother [MENTION=41552]Stoic[/MENTION]
 
Walaikum Asalaam

Stoic said:
Anyways I have a young family relative under 10 who's been molested and its traumatic for her. How would I consold her and such
What should she do and think about?
Click to expand...

I don't know how close you are to this girl, but I would say that it may be preferable if her very close relatives (such as her parents) handled that aspect of it. I say this because if it were a very traumatic experience, she is probably still trying to grasp the situation and she may feel shock, blame, and embarrassment about what happened to her. Unless she opens up to you about it herself, I don't think you should start the conversation. In the meantime, make du'a for her and her family. Sexual abuse can cause a lot of psychological pain for years. She will really need the support of her family. I've known a couple of girls who have been sexually abused, and one thing I know for sure is that the family should listen with open ears. Secondly I think it would help a lot the girl knew how to defend herself physically and understood how to protect herself so she can feel safe again. Thirdly she needs to know it's not her fault this happened and that her family will do everything they can to protect her inshallah. May Allah ease her and your family's affairs ameen.
 
I sort of learned how to throw a punch..

Seems to me everyone just got smarter. "/

There is more to the world than any security we can give ourselves.


..Although i dont know what it is just yet..


Every moment is just a progression of character..

Probably.

..i think i posted too much for today as it..

It doesnt really bring comfort to those who are struggling, enduring.

Or those that have suffered loss.
 
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Mustafa16 said:
I am very, very sorry to hear this......but remember, brother, that this life is only temporary, and is a world of suffering, especially for the believer, and a stepping stone where one is tested in order to attain true happiness in the hereafter, and part of that means that people must be granted free will. Child molestors are amongst the worst of evildoers, but remember that after hardship comes ease, if not in this world, then in the hereafter for your relative. Child molestation is one of the worst things that can happen to a child, but with proper therapy and support from the family and proper education on how to deal with it, rather than telling the kid to "forgive" or "get over it", rather with comfort and making the home a place of refuge and listening to their struggles, and having a shoulder for them to cry on, they can overcome. I urge you to seek a therapist for your relative, and I pray and hope that she can overcome this. Like I said, human beings were granted with free will, and with the capability of being mentally ill. I don't know if the molestor was mentally ill with pedophilia, but regardless, the fact that he acted on this means he is a monster and his reckoning will be on the day of judgement. Allah's justice is the best of justice, Allah's mercy is the best of mercy, but at the same time remember that religion, while very helpful, is not the only cure, and Allah has endowed us with intellect to create cures for trauma even of the mind. I will pray for your relative, brother [MENTION=41552]Stoic[/MENTION]
Click to expand...
Yea she's been seeing a therapist
 
Stoic said:
Sallams. I just want to make sure why things like this happen? I know there's a reason for everything.

Anyways I have a young family relative under 10 who's been molested and its traumatic for her. How would I consold her and such :(
What should she do and think about?
Click to expand...

:sl:

Things unislamic happens when you do not follow Islam.
 
keiv said:
So your answer to his 10 year old relative being molested is for him to tell her to be more Muslim next time?
Click to expand...

Its a general answer to the ROOT Cause of such evil which very negligible in Islamic communities UNLIKE when compared to the incest and rape in the unislamic societies which were in double digits (%) as per statistics of even late 1980's of Sheik Ahmed Deedat of SA.
 
That was a mistake on my part. I've seen "victim blaming" happen a lot and for whatever reason, I thought that's what you were doing. I don't disagree with what you've said now that I've understood it.
 
Stoic said:
What if I told u it happened in the Masjid and the guy that did it was a teacher?.....becuz it WAS
Click to expand...

Sub'han'Allah you just do not understand it whatsoever. Brother Kiev shouted out, but realized that he misunderstood it and agreed to that comment. Yet you even now still not understanding it.

Go and ask yourself now, how in the world has brother @Kiev understood that comment after a follow-up comment, but you still haven't understood it... Please nobody educate him, let him educate himself by taking the time to ponder a bit. People cannot chew the answer always for you, it is time you start contemplating and find the answers for yourself. STOP BEING A SHEEP...THINK!!
 
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:salam:

It is not the fault of the girl at all.

Being unislamic could be the factors that lead to this - such as dressing immodestly, etc. But overall it is the rapist's fault, never the victims.

We live in a hypersexualised society, as such, it is society's fault as well as the man's.

I know this girl is a muslim. And it happened in a masjid.. Frankly speaking the masjid should be segregated, so man speaks to man, and woman to woman.

The girl is under 10, so she doesn't know. It is not her fault but the man's and partly society's..

Remind her to be more mindful of men, and to not be playful with men. Put the shiekh to account.. How could a muslim do this to another muslim? What kind of sickness is this?

Society has bred this mindset that sex with anyone is fine and dandy.. I'd be very enraged if it was my daughter or sister. Which it is, Islamically (in deen)

But society is breeding this mindset - I feel - where honour and dignity has no meaning.. NOT saying the girl doesn't. Just saying this mindset is what might influence people..

With no moral barriers, any kind of evil can occur.

And Allah :swt: knows best.
 
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Stoic said:
What if I told u it happened in the Masjid and the guy that did it was a teacher?.....becuz it WAS
Click to expand...

Brilliant.. if you know who it was,

Resolution should not be too long in the waiting.

Also, claiming you are a thing.. does not make you a thing..

I think there was a actually a very similar thread not too long ago..

People do abuse power all the time.

...its a small world, the faces get familiar often..

Just look up once in a while and see where your vision is drawn towards.

...similar but not same..

https://www.islamicboard.com/genera...m-grooming-gangs-paedophiles.html#post2930378
 
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talibilm said:
I do not believe it such a thing can happen in a Masjid and from a teacher. it could be a slander or the teacher a lunatic and if did really happen its because of Not following Islam as it should be followed as in post # 16 .
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Muslims aren't perfect but Islam is. That man did that sin on his own and has to account for himself in front of Allah, regardless of his faith.
 
I honestly don't understand other humans. Sometimes I wish I could emigrate to another planet. I don't get why we ca be so cruel to each other.
 
..because most people take very little provocation/inspiration/motivation/compulsion to be..

And a house never makes a home..

The people in it do.
..


Id say it was all a "high" stakes game..

What would you say?
 

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