Imraan
Elite Member
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- 424
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- Islam
Assalam walaikum
By now everyone knows how widespread internet matrimonial sites and apps are available to each and every individual on the planet.
What should people do?
There are those 'never marrieds' who make up their own minds and ignore all views of their parents and the wise and go forth with their chosen one (that they've found themselves via internet), someone who they've exchanged a few messages / talked on the phone / met in person / maybe more ... in reality outside the environment of the two people their immediate families may be incompatible with each other amongst others issues..
How do you explain or advise the 'never married's or even those seperated but searching for spouse that meeting someone via internet should not be the be all- end all / preferred route to marriage? And that they should not hold out for their chosen internet one while they reject all the prospects that have come via the family channel where for instance, a prospect / family is recommended, backgrounds are being checked thoroughly etc,... please dont remind me about my mistake.
It worries me some that people toy with the idea of marriage as a past time / short term thing now, people get married for namesake amongst other things even part of a bucket list (asthagfirullah) or part of a to do list, once done, abandon and continue living a single life care free , it worries me more that the number of users of these apps have significantly increased over the years and prospects via relatives is becoming a dying trend soon to be scarce in coming years (maybe). With not enough checks in place some marriages are going ahead only to be short lived because the reality of the marriage and the relationship, the coming together of the couple and the families is far from what the two individuals or immediate family members expected, with an added hope that the marriage might work just because 'they liked each other'.
The prospect and desperation / excitement of marriage can blind or hinder ones judgement and decision making in crucial areas, resulting in catastrophes later.
How should we approach individuals who are falling in this trap, people are leaving marriage so late to a point it becomes urgent forcing 'over-compromise', people want to find 'the one' using their own initiative to feel the decision being made was independent, their own rather than others dictating it for them.
Sooner or later everyone reading this post will come across someone close to them in a similar dilemma.
No one can deny the Qadr of Allah swt but the duty of precaution is bestowed upon every individual whether we like it or not, if we neglect it, we potentially pay the price....
By now everyone knows how widespread internet matrimonial sites and apps are available to each and every individual on the planet.
What should people do?
There are those 'never marrieds' who make up their own minds and ignore all views of their parents and the wise and go forth with their chosen one (that they've found themselves via internet), someone who they've exchanged a few messages / talked on the phone / met in person / maybe more ... in reality outside the environment of the two people their immediate families may be incompatible with each other amongst others issues..
How do you explain or advise the 'never married's or even those seperated but searching for spouse that meeting someone via internet should not be the be all- end all / preferred route to marriage? And that they should not hold out for their chosen internet one while they reject all the prospects that have come via the family channel where for instance, a prospect / family is recommended, backgrounds are being checked thoroughly etc,... please dont remind me about my mistake.
It worries me some that people toy with the idea of marriage as a past time / short term thing now, people get married for namesake amongst other things even part of a bucket list (asthagfirullah) or part of a to do list, once done, abandon and continue living a single life care free , it worries me more that the number of users of these apps have significantly increased over the years and prospects via relatives is becoming a dying trend soon to be scarce in coming years (maybe). With not enough checks in place some marriages are going ahead only to be short lived because the reality of the marriage and the relationship, the coming together of the couple and the families is far from what the two individuals or immediate family members expected, with an added hope that the marriage might work just because 'they liked each other'.
The prospect and desperation / excitement of marriage can blind or hinder ones judgement and decision making in crucial areas, resulting in catastrophes later.
How should we approach individuals who are falling in this trap, people are leaving marriage so late to a point it becomes urgent forcing 'over-compromise', people want to find 'the one' using their own initiative to feel the decision being made was independent, their own rather than others dictating it for them.
Sooner or later everyone reading this post will come across someone close to them in a similar dilemma.
No one can deny the Qadr of Allah swt but the duty of precaution is bestowed upon every individual whether we like it or not, if we neglect it, we potentially pay the price....
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