noraina
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Please make dua for me, brothers and sisters. I feel as though I am close to leaving Islam because I'm having some re-occurring doubts. These are some serious doubts, ones that have been bothering me for weeks. More specifically, I am having doubts about the death penalty being applied to homosexuals and apostates, respectively. I don't think I would follow a religion that endorses those things. I'm scared because it may be that all of my deeds in Islam have been worthless. Maybe I have been living a lie this whole time.
It's 1:50 AM as I'm writing this and I'm not able to sleep. I don't know if Islam is true or not. May God guide me to the truth, wherever that may lead me. I hope these doubts will go away, though. I don't necessarily want Islam to be false because it has been my lifestyle for almost six years. Are these doubts going to go away? is Islam true? is Islam compassionate? these are all things I am doubting. Please make dua for me.
Assalamu alaykum,
Brother, the imaan of everyone can fluctuate up and down, and at times the Shaytaan can put crippling doubts into our mind about Islam. The key is to know that any doubts or concerns you have about Islam comes from our own lack of knowledge as human beings and our extremely limited understanding - and the key to that is to gain the knowledge and understanding of those issues concerning us to combat those doubts. This deen, Islam, has been chosen be Allah swt for *all* of mankind - so it is the 'right' religion for everyone, whatever place or time.
I've had my own reservations about the death penalty, but here we must know that Islam doesn't just aim for us to gain inner peace as individuals and have our own 'personal' journey, it aims to create a morally upright society on every level, both personal and collective. And actually an apostate or homosexual isn't just killed by a lynch mob at the drop of a hat. Shariah law is completely fair, they have a rigorous system based on evidence and justice - it is the law of Allah so it is inherently just. There are certain conditions and procedures that need to take place - the idea given by others of how these punishments are implemented is one that is completely unfounded.
Those topics you mentioned have been discussed many times.
For homosexuality, see if this answers your questions: https://www.islamicboard.com/clarifications-about-islam/134342806-islam-homosexuality.html
And for apostasy, this: https://www.islamicboard.com/discover-islam/49146-death-penalty-apostasy-islam.html
These doubts will only go away if you allow them to. This is just the Shaytaan trying to lead you away from the Truth, and if you succumb to those doubts no one would be harmed but yourself. Any faults we think we see are in fact a reflection of our own limited understanding. Imaan can weaken, but we must absolutely cling to it no matter what - and your deeds wouldn't have been worthless, if the whole time you were striving to become closer to Allah swt and believe truly, then they won't be worthless inshaAllah. It's never going to be easy being a believer, we will all face trials, which is why the reward for overcoming those trials is so great subhanAllah.
May Allah swt clear away any doubts or misconceptions we have, guide us firmly upon the straight path, and keep us within Islam. Ameen.