Salaam I would really like your help

[Muslimhuman]

Salaam guys I would really like your help.
I have been getting waswas about shirk for a long time. And I feel like my connection to Allah has been getting worse and worse.But yesterday I wasnt getting much waswas, and I started reading the risale I nur coz I wanted to get rid of the waswas. But I feel that just made me worse, because it confused me. And this morning shaytan came with his waswas but I was reading the risale I nur, so I didnt fight back as hard as I usually would.
But my worry is this : is this shaytans waswas or me ? (Astagfirullah)
Now when I pray I dont feel the presence I used to , before I'd keep my eyes firmly fixed on the ground because I felt "something" was watching me. Now when I pray I find it easier for my eyes to "wander" even though I'm not moving them on purpose. I dont know how, but I took this as a sign that Allah was angry with me.
Also, the past couple of days I haven't been as tense as I used to be about committing kufr/shirk (astagfirullah!). And I feel I dont fear Allah anymore.And I take this as a sign my heart has become dead.
and my biggest fear (I shouldn't be writing this out loud I think)is this : when I say something and there is a slight hesitation, and I repeat it again and again, and I dont want that to be there but it is. Is that coming from shaytan or me?
I know this is waswas as before around 15 (when they started) I just believed in allah and I was fine.
At this point I am worried I'm not a muslim because of how bad my state is. I was always afraid of kufr/shirk. When the waswas started I would make the dua for protection against shirk after every prayer. I dont know how I got so bad. Is there any hope for me?

 

['Abdullah]

First thing I want to say is that if you are having waswasa in your prayers & you are worried about them then congratulation because this is a clear clear sign of faith based on the following hadith of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him):

It is narrated on the authority of Abu Huraira that some people from amongst the Companions of the Apostle (ﷺ) came to him and said:
Verily we perceive in our minds that which every one of us considers it too grave to express. He (the Holy Prophet) said: Do you really perceive it? They said: Yes. Upon this he remarked: That is the faith manifest.
حَدَّثَنِي زُهَيْرُ بْنُ حَرْبٍ، حَدَّثَنَا جَرِيرٌ، عَنْ سُهَيْلٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، قَالَ جَاءَ نَاسٌ مِنْ أَصْحَابِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَسَأَلُوهُ إِنَّا نَجِدُ فِي أَنْفُسِنَا مَا يَتَعَاظَمُ أَحَدُنَا أَنْ يَتَكَلَّمَ بِهِ ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ وَقَدْ وَجَدْتُمُوهُ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالُوا نَعَمْ ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ ذَاكَ صَرِيحُ الإِيمَانِ ‏"‏ ‏.‏
Reference: Sahih Muslim 132 a
In-book reference: Book 1, Hadith 247
USC-MSA web (English) reference: Book 1, Hadith 239

Imam Al-Nawawi said in his commentary on this hadeeth:

The Prophet’s words, ‘That is a clear sign of faith’ means, the fact they think of this waswaas as something terrible is a clear sign of faith, for if you dare not utter it and you are so afraid of it and of speaking of it, let alone believing it, this is the sign of one who has achieved perfect faith and who is free of doubt.

Shaytaan only whispers to those whom he despairs of tempting, because he is unable to tempt them. As for the non-Muslims, he can approach them in any manner he wants and is not restricted to waswaas, rather he can play with them however he wants. Based on this, what the hadeeth means is that the cause of waswaas is pure faith, or that waswaas is a sign of pure faith.
The fact that one hates waswasas and that one's heart recoils from it is a clear sign of faith. Waswaas happens to everyone who turns to Allah by reciting dhikr etc. It is inevitable, but you have to be steadfast and patient, and persevere with your dhikr and prayer, and not give up, because in this way you will ward off the plot of the Shaytaan.
Indeed, the plot of Satan has ever been weak[Quran 4:76]
Every time a person wants to turn to Allah, waswaas brings other matters to mind. The Shaytaan is like a bandit: every time a person wants to move towards Allaah, he wants to block the way.

 

[Muslimhuman]

Salaam brother
Thank you for the answer, but I dont think that's me. I feel I have very low eeman at best, and my heart recoiled sometimes and feels empty other times. I dont think that's ms me, and that's one of the reasons why I'm worried

 

['Abdullah]

Salaam brother
Thank you for the answer, but I dont think that's me. I feel I have very low eeman at best, and my heart recoiled sometimes and feels empty other times. I dont think that's ms me, and that's one of the reasons why I'm worried

WaAlaikum Assalam WaRahmatullhi WaBarakatuhu sister,

You are worried and that’s a sign this relates to you. Don’t listen to shaytan. Your faith might be low but I can tell that you are strong enough to fight against these whispers. Just don’t give up and keep making Azkar. May Allah make it easy for you to go through this phase. Ameen!

 

[Islami.Mu'mina]

Salaam guys I would really like your help.
I have been getting waswas about shirk for a long time. And I feel like my connection to Allah has been getting worse and worse.But yesterday I wasnt getting much waswas, and I started reading the risale I nur coz I wanted to get rid of the waswas. But I feel that just made me worse, because it confused me. And this morning shaytan came with his waswas but I was reading the risale I nur, so I didnt fight back as hard as I usually would.
But my worry is this : is this shaytans waswas or me ? (Astagfirullah)
Now when I pray I dont feel the presence I used to , before I'd keep my eyes firmly fixed on the ground because I felt "something" was watching me. Now when I pray I find it easier for my eyes to "wander" even though I'm not moving them on purpose. I dont know how, but I took this as a sign that Allah was angry with me.
Also, the past couple of days I haven't been as tense as I used to be about committing kufr/shirk (astagfirullah!). And I feel I dont fear Allah anymore.And I take this as a sign my heart has become dead.
and my biggest fear (I shouldn't be writing this out loud I think)is this : when I say something and there is a slight hesitation, and I repeat it again and again, and I dont want that to be there but it is. Is that coming from shaytan or me?
I know this is waswas as before around 15 (when they started) I just believed in allah and I was fine.
At this point I am worried I'm not a muslim because of how bad my state is. I was always afraid of kufr/shirk. When the waswas started I would make the dua for protection against shirk after every prayer. I dont know how I got so bad. Is there any hope for me?

I've come to notice that many Muslims go through these problems unfortunately. It is a good thing that you are still hanging in there. But what can happen is that you will start getting too depressed and you do nothing about it and lose hope. When you feel your heart has hardened, you have to take steps to have this get cured. It'll take a lot of time.

But I have come to notice that the best thing to do is change your mindset. Whenever you get a problem, if you sincerely take it as a test from Allah, it automatically becomes easier. But the problem is, when it comes to hardship from waswas, this is a skill of the mind you have to master. Your mind may trick you into believing that this isn't a test and trial, or that there is no point. But those thoughts are apart of the test. So you may not give in to them or else you will keep falling.

An example of mine is sometimes I will get angry and depressed all of a sudden because I start disliking my religion and thinking too many wrong things about it. I could take it as a test and trial and struggle, but I do not. Instead I fall for waswas and start to believe there is no point in thinking that way and following a religion you don't like. Then I get angry and depressing thoughts.

It all comes down to this
You have two choices

1.) Suck it up and realize that this is the only thing you can do to save yourself. That is to take it as a test and trial, even if you are so doubtful, just put your trust in Allah even if you are too blind to see why you should. Push the thoughts away as much as you can and don't feel guilty about reoccurring thoughts because they aren't from you even if you think they are. After, make a plan to make your heart soften. If you want, we can make another forum about the plan
2.) Let your thoughts get to you and make you feel guilty and hopeless. This option will slowly pull you down


The two biggest fitnas in our deen
1.) Desires
2.) Doubts

They can both be very powerful