Doing zinah , desperate plea for help.

[zubi123]

Salam , i am a male 27 of age and i am stuck in this loop of zinah.
I dont want to do it but something comes over me and i just somehow end up doing it, i have several times asked Allah for forgiveness and will always do but i desperately want to stop. The amount of times i have done this is staggering and it makes me want to kill my self.
I have recently graduated and the job market is bad, i cant get any job which makes it very difficult for me to get married. Even though my parents are very very religious i have asked them to get me married but they are not as eager , or are trying to, because i have no job and presenting my self as a jobless person is not ideal ( even though i have a very good background come from good family/home and dont have money issues ) . I have been doing this for some time and my mother got breast cancer recently and i believe it was cause of my sins.
Please help me i dont know what to do , i dont want to ruin this life or the hear after.

 

[BeTheChange]

Walaikumasalaam brother,

You need to put as many obstructions as you can to make zina difficult for you i.e. avoid all contact from the opposite gender at all cost. Keep it strictly work related if you must speak to them.

Change your number.

Assess your home environment. Make it islamic as possible. Keep repenting.

Hang around with brothers who boost your emaan and remind you of Allah swt.

Find a wife yourself. Don't put the onus on your parents as they may have other priorities.

Maybe look into islamic counselling first before you get married.

Cancer is curable btw. Mainstream media hide the cure. Watch this video. You have yo ask your mum to change her diet completely. Carrot juice, black seed oil, apricot seeds etc will cure your mum insha Allah.

Keep repenting brother. Don't give up.

 

[iammuslim98]

Salam , i am a male 27 of age and i am stuck in this loop of zinah.
I dont want to do it but something comes over me and i just somehow end up doing it, i have several times asked Allah for forgiveness and will always do but i desperately want to stop. The amount of times i have done this is staggering and it makes me want to kill my self.
I have recently graduated and the job market is bad, i cant get any job which makes it very difficult for me to get married. Even though my parents are very very religious i have asked them to get me married but they are not as eager , or are trying to, because i have no job and presenting my self as a jobless person is not ideal ( even though i have a very good background come from good family/home and dont have money issues ) . I have been doing this for some time and my mother got breast cancer recently and i believe it was cause of my sins.
Please help me i dont know what to do , i dont want to ruin this life or the hear after.

Aoa brother. There are two types of people. One who are physically weak, others emotionally weak. You are emotionally weak. It is a good thing that you have realised ur mistake and trying to get help. Marriage is a good option, but does that ensure u will not cheat on ur wife afterwards? Psychological help would be best to understand the root cause of ur problem.
Moving to the next part, keep asking Alah for forgiveness. Recite dua such as La haula wala quat. Everytime some satanic idea enters ur mind. I knew a guy with the same problem, and i gave him the idea of reciting the commentary on surahs that have mentioned zinah and its consequences, you will be shocked. And it helped him to stray away. Satan is patient, clever and waits til you are at your weakest. Dont let him get to you at the time of weakness.
That said, you need to stop interacting with namehram altogether.. This is the best course of action for you.. However it might increase desperation in u, which leads back to my first opinion, get professional help.. In the west, we have these groups for people who are s*x addicts. So, dont think you cannot get help for such a big issue.
Lastly brother, we are nothing but a bundle of sins and mistakes. Lucky ones realise their sins and seek forgiveness from Allah. You should be happy thst Allah wants to guide you.

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Beautifully said.

 

[IslamLife00]

wa'alaykumussalaam

Akhi, maintain ibadat and increase it, as it will get you closer to Allah and you always need Him.
If you can't marry then fasting is recommended. Sharing hadiths about fasting.
Ramadan has just ended so your body is still used to fasting, take this opportunity to fast more, like 6 days of Shawwal.
May Allah make it easy for you.


Narrated `Abdullah: We were with the Prophet (ﷺ) while we were young and had no wealth. So Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power." Sahih al Bukhari


It was narrated from Saeed bin Abi Hind that Mutarrif a man from Banu 'Amir bin Sa'sa'ah told him that:
'Uthman bin Abi Al-As called for milk to be given to him (Mutarrif) to drink. Mutarrif said: 'I heard the Messenger of Allah say: 'Fasting is a shield like the shield of any one of you in battle."' Sunan An-Nasa'i


[FONT=&quot]It was narrated from Abu Hurairah that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]There are three whose supplications are not turned back: A just ruler, and a fasting person until he breaks his fast. And, the supplication of one who has been wronged is raised by Allah up to the clouds on the Day of Resurrection, and the gates of heaven are opened for it, and Allah says, ‘By My Might I will help you (against the wrongdoer) even if it is after a while.’” Ibn Majah

Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) as saying:

Allah the Exalted and Majestic said: Every act of the son of Adam is for him, except fasting. It is (exclusively) meant for Me and I (alone) will reward it. Fasting is a shield. When any one of you is fasting on a day, he should neither indulge in obscene language, nor raise the voice; or if anyone reviles him or tries to quarrel with him he should say: I am a person fasting. By Him, in Whose Hand is the life of Muhammad, the breath of the observer of fast is sweeter to Allah on the Day of judgment than the fragrance of musk. The one who fasts has two (occasions) of joy, one when he breaks the fast he is glad with the breaking of (the fast) and one when he meets his Lord he is glad with his fast. Sahih Muslim


Abu Ayub narrated that :
the Messenger of Allah said: "Whoever fasts Ramadan, then follows it with six from Shawwal, then that is (equal in reward) to fasting everyday." Jami'at Tirmidhi

[/FONT]

 

[Revert alYunani]

then dont say you are jobless,say you are a student.Start some training whatever it is,not important at all,just smth to make you appear busy in eyes of others.

1.if you jobless how are you gonna provide for her btw?
2.you mean zinnah of the hand or the eye? Because if it is that i totally understand but if you mean zinnah like being with a woman,subhanAllah are you for real now? how can you just somehow end up doing it? It takes a lot effort to do that its not a thing of the moment.

 

[*charisma*]

Salam , i am a male 27 of age and i am stuck in this loop of zinah.
I dont want to do it but something comes over me and i just somehow end up doing it, i have several times asked Allah for forgiveness and will always do but i desperately want to stop. The amount of times i have done this is staggering and it makes me want to kill my self.
I have recently graduated and the job market is bad, i cant get any job which makes it very difficult for me to get married. Even though my parents are very very religious i have asked them to get me married but they are not as eager , or are trying to, because i have no job and presenting my self as a jobless person is not ideal ( even though i have a very good background come from good family/home and dont have money issues ) . I have been doing this for some time and my mother got breast cancer recently and i believe it was cause of my sins.
Please help me i dont know what to do , i dont want to ruin this life or the hear after.

Assalamu Alaikum,

I don't know which type of zina you are referring to, but whatever the case may be you need to get it under control. If it is a bad habit and an issue of self-discipline then more than likely it's not going to be cured by marriage and it wouldn't be fair to bring your problems into a marriage like that.

Secondly, you don't need your parents permission to get married. You're your own man. Find a suitable girl, go to her parents, and ask for her hand.

Why are you relying on your parents to marry you at this age?