If a wife a leaves her husband because he is a good man, provider, super nice to her

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xboxisdead

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I have a question to ask. If a husband never abuses his wife, never verbally abuses his wife, never hit her, he is super nice, sweat, works really hard for her, provide for her, tries his best to look the best for her, tries his best to protect her and her honor and these are the attributes that put her off and she files divorce against her husband because she cannot stand such sweetness and niceness and is repulsed by him working really hard and providing her...is that the fault of the husband or the wife? Would she be punished for filing divorce against her husband for this reason in the afterlife? Should the husband change and be more aggressive, abusive, verbally abusive, less reliable for his future wife? Would that be a better character of a husband?

In this attachment you see a Muslim woman divorcing her husband because he is too sweet. You see, if the prophet peace be upon him is alive amongst now and he is married to the modern women now...the standard where we men find now he will be divorced by his wife because he is a prophet peace be upon him (authobillah) You see....if a man tries to follow the steps of the prophet peace be upon him where women claim they need men like that, these same women who bash men, attack men, or claim men are abusive or not even close to the prophet...these same women will divorce these men because they are following the prophet peace be upon him. So what men need to learn from this lesson is to completly ignore what women say or ask for because I don't think women know what they want themselves. As you can see there is over 7,600,000 google search of difference cases including Muslim women asking for divorce JUST BECAUSE the husband is trying to follow the footstep of the prophet peace be upon him. That is indeed a reality.

Here is what men should do, follow Allah and his prophet and seek Allah's pleasure alone and exclusive only. Even if your wife goes to your face and spit on your face because you are focused on pleasing Allah and not hear, take that spit from your face and divorce her and separate from her and smile knowing you are pleasing Allah and not her. If your wife hurl insults at you for following the Sunnah and bash your beard and call you monkey and cave man, divorce her and and grow that beard even bigger for the pleasure of Allah alone and not for her. If your children hurl insults at you and hate you because you are obeying Allah and his prophets and pleasing Allah alone and following the Qura'an and Sunnah, look at your children and imagine they are decomposed food or trash in a bag and smelly and need to be thrown in the trashcan. Allah will replace these children with something better in the afterlife if not here. Focus on pleasing Allah alone and don't bother your head with them...it doesn't matter if they got your half DNA...who cares. If your family is waging war against you because you are a good believing Muslim and wanting to follow the Sunnah 100% then look at them as your open enemy and not family. Try to limit interaction with them as much as possible to avoid their bad energy entering your system.

Remember, your children and your wife could be your open enemy. They could lure you to hellfire and that is the ultimate losing end.
 

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:salam:

:bism:

Where do you live brother?

It is not that common for a woman seeking divorce.

I hope you did not experience that.

Regarding marriage, you should well choose before and better have the proper faculties, housing and wealth.

Kufr is very near to faqr.

If you do not have the resources, problems start often.

Best is to choose women as per ahlaq and religion, but even along with that it is your duty to be very productive and achieving, the more the better, better running a business or getting a second job.

If you married before you started practicing, then the woman married an another man.

Women who do not practice a lot need to see in you a great leader, great achiever, very good hygiene, fitness, clothing, perfumes, even testosterone levels (try to research halal supplements).
They live status, riches, muscles, leaderships, very good and often bedroom, travells, restaurants, that you consistantly and dynamically live and innovate and improve lives at a daily level.

The paragraph below is a little bit EXPLICIT, but it is NEEDED.
Who does not want to read, skip to next paragraph.

They love a nice sportscar. They love a trip to the Alps or Maldives.
They need nice and sexy words and dynamic love making. They love gifts. They need to get their satisfaction and orgasms during lovemaking. It is islamically a must, not to get away from woman until she is satisfied (I must say, and we should not be shy with it as it is very, very important in marriage and convayed in part in multiple hadith, use hands, fingers, even sex toys-there is a similar hadith on even that). You must have a great foreplay, maybe at least 10-15 mins. She should be very, very excited, almost beg you for intercourse part. Do not forget to recite duas before. Let your wife experiment during intercourse, tell her to do what she wants, not only lie on bed.
After one intercourse, get a wudhdhu and start another. Some women need 2-3 full courses. Tgat was common even for Arabs 1400 years ago. You will found hadith about the wudhdhu part. Watch for hygiene, use perfume. If your drive is low, it is not a shame to use halal testosterone booster supplements nor viagra. The female may use viagra too or libido boosters. It is not a shame, it is often needed.
https://www.healthline.com/health/i-am-a-woman-and-i-took-viagra
Eat a lot protein foods, milk, nuts, dairy, take halal creatine monohydrate and whey if healthy (not renal impairments etc.).
In the future speak with a sexologist if needed.
This product seems good:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Muscle-Nor...834581031&s=drugstore&sr=1-2&ts_id=6008227031

If something around you gets lower, like for example status, as people start calling you names, like poor, or extremist, or dpuchebag, fat, overweight, skinny etc. the non practicing wife will start to feel contempt and it build up if you are passive.

You can be s sunnah follower if you run a multimillon business, but can not if you live on social funds.

Also, you need friends. If you have great friends it adds to your status and their religion practicing wifes will share the noor with your wife.
Get good friends and call them for a dinner or go to a trip often with 2-3 cars.

More practicing woman are less prone to such contempts, but you must watch the picture you leave in the family, community and the society.

Whatever happened, you should invest the months and years to come into improving yourself a lot, educating further, getting the testosterone levels up (not to get my wrong, you should stay a gentleman, be kind, merciful etc.), improving nutrition and fitness greatly, looks, getting a second job or a business, travell, be altruistic and volounteering un the community, spending zakah, giving plenty of sadaqah, getting tutors and babysitters for children, involving them into sports and best schooling, buying them a car and a flat nowdays is common.
Woman want success and achievements. When you improve a lot, maybe in 2-3 years, you will notice that the whole community suddenly has daughters to marry for you.
Invest your time and money well.

Of course, do not neglect the "more" deeni part, increase salawat (try to get 1000x salawat ibrahimi mornings and evenings (get up early, righ after or before fajr start (maybe 45 mins to eat, because of every second day nawafil fasting and to pray tahajjud).
Recite a lot of estegfar, like astagfirullah al adheem alladgee la ilaha illa huwal hayyul qayyumu wa atubu ilayh, shukrulillah, tasbeeh: subhanallahe walhamdullillahe wa la ilaha illallahu wallahu akbar wa la hawla wa la quwwata illa billahil aliyyil adheem, asma ul husna, especially Ya Hayyum Ya Qayyumu and Ya Dhal Jalali wal ikraam, tasbeeh Yunus, everything at least 1000x daily (2x500). Do not forget seeking estagfar and rahmah for other believing men and women, like Allahumma gfirli warhamni warzuqni wa lil mominina wal mominati, 1000x daily.

Recite duas mornings and evenings from Momin ka hathyaar Ad Dua Divine help Hisn al muslim and
https://www.nooresunnat.com/Audio/Zikr/Morning_and_Evening_duas.pdf

When you get more money, try to spend a lot for community welfare, local mosque, finance hafeez education, like
https://www.almustafatrust.org/appeals/education/sponsor-a-hafiz/
Finance water, food, classrooms etc.

InshaAllah it will be better and better.
 
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:salam:

Dear sister, why do you laugh?

It is a serious situation above.

Subhanallah, such men could even end life if not practicing and getting broader family support, naudhubillah.

We must help each other, and vast amounts of knowledge are needed among muslim populations.

People do not often know basic hadith 1400 years ago.
 
You are sending a confusing message to the sister and rest of the world. You object to her laughing yet you approved of it by liking her post for laughing?!!?
 
:salam:

You have right, but I liked it as an interesting message seen here on the forums and accepted it as a laugh for my message.

Women know all of this, but keep it secret.

- - - Updated - - -

:salam:
If the wife/woman treats you like the above and gets the children too, she is almost certainly non practicing, right?
 
What?! I was just laughing at the OP's post.
Firstly, the kind of husbands he has described is rare to find. It's like the perfect husband which no one can be.
Next thing, why would a practising woman divorce this kinda husband?
And to answer the question, husband is on the right in this case because he is fulfilling his rights as a husband. And wife would be sinning if she asks for a divorce.
 
:salam:

Women do have a right for divorce, for example low libido of the husband, impotence, abuse etc.

https://www.abuaminaelias.com/muslim-womens-right-to-divorce/

We must put our efforts to be more attractive to our wifes and to be better husbands in every aspect, as woman must put to.

Woman, especially in the west have often PLAN B, another man willing to marry her, and a divorce because she is not happy is common, even among muslims.
Non practicing women with muslim names can cheat husband and it happens with superior in status, wealth or better looking men.

Non muslim men often know better to seduce women, because of the prior extramartial experience.

Because of all said, we must choose well whom we marry and put a lot of more efforts into improving ourselfs and satisfying different partner needs.
 
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Al-Ansariyah said:
What?! I was just laughing at the OP's post.
Firstly, the kind of husbands he has described is rare to find. It's like the perfect husband which no one can be.
Next thing, why would a practising woman divorce this kinda husband?
And to answer the question, husband is on the right in this case because he is fulfilling his rights as a husband. And wife would be sinning if she asks for a divorce.
Click to expand...

If you believe it is rare to find good husband it is the same in the other spectrum as well. It is rare to find good saleeh wife. If you think it is rare to find a good husband like the prophet peace be upon him it is equally rare to find a good wife like khadija and the great mumeen wives of this world. So I would laugh equally from this end of the spectrum just as you do. It is never always men fault alone and it is men who need to shape alone. Nope. It is always draw. It is always equal in this spectrum. Anytime a woman complains about men know by default the same applies in the other spectrum. Both sides are failing equally juuuust fine and both sides are doing greeeat job displeasing Allah very well.

As for your other question, don't be shocked to know that this is as common as breathing where a man been too nice are repulsed by women. Why do you think the athiests advise their community to be a jerk towards women? The athiest always warns new generation of men if you are too nice or kind or the nice guy women will stomp on your heart and laugh at you. But if you are the jerk, the unreliable, if you mistreat them, they cannot have enough of it.

capture.png
Title of this video is: Women love jerks.

Check the attachment..how many cases in that attachment screenshot of women divorcing their husband including Muslim women because the husband is too nice. I don't think these group of women care squad about sinning or having paradise forbidden for them, alright? So many cases of women coming to USA and Canada divorce their husband or ask divorce from their husband and get it from kufar court when the husband have been fulfilling all her rights, this is as common as aids and they don't care. Why you think in the OP I posted that a man should focus only in pleasing Allah alone. As long as he made sure he did everything that pleases Allah alone, even if he is tested by having his family go down by the hand of his wife or his children, he is fine. He knows that his right awaits him if not here in the afterlife.



If everyone just don't care about other just care about only pleasing Allah only and treat each other the way Allah alone wants them to treat each other and put love in their hearts toward Allah alone and not each other, and give kindess to each other not because they give a damn about each other or love each other, no...only for Allah's pleasure alone then they cannot lose. There will peace in their hearts and by loving each other only for Allah's pleasure alone and because they love Allah alone without sharing that love with anyone else, Allah will put love in their hearts toward each and make treating each other with kindess easier.

I believe the reason it is this messy is because people have no place in their heart for Allah,, which explains why we are here right now.
 
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:salam:
"a man should focus only in pleasing Allah", yes but also throught best satisfying the needs of wife and family to.

Women do not love jerks-they love what it seems a jerk, but it is a alpha man. They love men in power, with wealth, with good status in community, with abundance of other woman preselecting them and having interest in them.

They love stable, resilient men that are kindhearted and that respond on their tests with humour and kindness.

https://www.abuaminaelias.com/dailyhadithonline/2012/01/10/best-good-character-women/

We must try to have a lot more sabr in satisfying their needs.

If you do not know what are their needs, you can also often ask her.

To simplify, try to earn at least as twice as now, read a book or two a week, and to build up muscles, lose fat amd increase testosterone, but stay a gentleman, and every women will be a lot more satisfied and better towards you.

Do not forget the adhkaar, salawat, duas, estegfar, tasbeehs, as they augment you a lot further, add noor to your every cell, heal you and refine you.

Enroll into different sports along the weights/cardio, at least 2 ones, say table tennis and silat/jiu jitsu. A lot better than TV, best with muslim trainers.

In a year or two of the from top to the bottom of the page regimen, you'll be among top performers inshaAllah.
 
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Murid said:
:salam:
"a man should focus only in pleasing Allah", yes but also throught best satisfying the needs of wife and family to.

Women do not love jerks-they love what it seems a jerk, but it is a alpha man. They love men in power, with wealth, with good status in community, with abundance of other woman preselecting them and having interest in them.

They love stable, resilient men that are kindhearted and that respond on their tests with humour and kindness.

https://www.abuaminaelias.com/dailyhadithonline/2012/01/10/best-good-character-women/

We must try to have a lot more sabr in satisfying their needs.

If you do not know what are their needs, you can also often ask her.

To simplify, try to earn at least as twice as now, read a book or two a week, and to build up muscles, lose fat amd increase testosterone, but stay a gentleman, and every women will be a lot more satisfied and better towards you.

Do not forget the adhkaar, salawat, duas, estegfar, tasbeehs, as they augment you a lot further, add noor to your every cell, heal you and refine you.

Enroll into different sports along the weights/cardio, at least 2 ones, say table tennis and silat/jiu jitsu. A lot better than TV, best with muslim trainers.

In a year or two of the from top to the bottom of the page regimen, you'll be among top performers inshaAllah.
Click to expand...

I believe majority of women DO love jerks and lots of women will even tell you. They say they love bad boys and nice guys is boring and they love challenge. Also don't forget women are hardwired to believe they can change men, that is why they date drug delears, etc because they believe they can change them.
 
:salam:

Woman, few of them, lower in social hierarchy do love whatcit seems a jerk, a criminal etc.

But, those criminal often do have money, housing, cars, muscles, know how to satisfy a woman and be interesting to her, other men fear them often and those low profile girls in the community feel satisfied and secure, but that is a bias.

If you start to put serious efforts, you'll be loved a lot more than those jerks inshaAllah.

Sadly, muslim men are not motivated and non practicing/non muslim are motivated to improve because of women/zinna and dominance/status among men in the community.

Get motivated ASAP and do not tend to be a local fool.
 
:salam:

Do not watch such videos instead of improving yourself.

Get off that couch as you still have time and get your life great inshaAllah.

(One male friend opened my eyes when he said that we muslims need a lot more improving ourselfs, because other men tend to cheat with our woman. Some know, some do not.
That is especially when you are low achiever and married a non practicing woman. )
 
I know a man, non Muslim - everyone in love with him just because he's too caring and super respective towards everyone. He's far from being rich, pretty, handsome, strong with muscles or whatever. He is smart and nice but the main reason why everyone fall for him is his beautiful character.
 
There's a huge difference between an abusive man and an annoyingly caring man.

Men should be men and women should be women. Would you like to have a masculine wife? Of course not! Why would I want to marry a girly man that cares about me more than my mother?
 
RevertTayra said:
There's a huge difference between an abusive man and an annoyingly caring man.

Men should be men and women should be women. Would you like to have a masculine wife? Of course not! Why would I want to marry a girly man that cares about me more than my mother?
Click to expand...

Yes, the man must know his role and not be to annoying like a mother to a young child.

We must be caring, but what is caring? It is better sometimes to spend time at the gym, in the library, working, reading than to gossip and annoy your wife 24/7 when you are at home.
Ideally men should spend free time at the masjid, gym, library, schooling further, running a business, getting a second job etc. and come home to play with kids (in addition to tutors, trainers, babysitters), eat maybe (or go to a good restaurant) and great lovemaking and productive talks with wife. Travell, buying her gifts, supporting her and having a leading role in improving her is also good. Visiting friends and having visits is good.

Women as men too need some time left alone, for nawafil ibadah, dhikr, dua, salawat etc.

Lovemaking is often better too when you do not spend a lot time together. It should not be a lame fixed time session.

Fasting every second day helps a lot in both health and lovemaking. Cells repair and rejuvenate because of the autophagy and HGH levels and testosterone spike.

Men must be achieving, have drive and be dynamic in the zone, care for others altruistically often (donations, sadaqa a lot) and it will be lot better, inshaAllah.
 
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