Maybe this could help you understand more about being shy.
source :
http://www.islamicvoice.com/august.98/prophet.htm#SHY
When it is virtue to be shy
It is important for a believer to have a keen sense of shame, for it is a great help in avoiding what is forbidden, We quoted a Hadith in which the Prophet clarifies that even the earliest of Prophets have stressed the importance of this virtue. He quotes them as saying: “If you have no sense of shame, then do whatever you like.” We also mentioned that since the Prophet was the best example of a man who practiced what he preached, he himself had a refined sense of shame which manifested itself in the fact that he never demanded anything which belonged to him by right, and the fact that if he disliked something, he would not express his dislike in words, but his feeling would be apparent in his face. We carry on with our discussion today, hoping to throw more light on this virtue and how it is translated in practical life, on the basis of the Prophet’s guidance. We have a story, related by Aisha, the Prophet’s wife, which states that her father, Abu Bakr, who was the Prophet’s closest companion and a man who enjoyed great respect in the Muslim community, asked permission to see the Prophet. The Prophet was reclining on Aisha’s bed, wearing a woolen jumper, which belonged to her. The Prophet allowed Abu Bakr to come in without changing his position. Abu Bakr spoke to him about whatever he wanted, and left. Later, Umar who was the second closest companion to the Prophet and was later to become the second Caliph to succeed him, also sough to see the Prophet. Again, the Prophet allowed him to come in maintaining his reclining posture on his wife’s bed. Umar explained his business and left. A short while later, Uthaman came and asked to see the Prophet. The prophet sat up and told his wife to tidy up her clothes before he allowed Uthman to come in. After Uthman had left, Aisha asked the Prophet why he did for Uthman’s visit what he did not do for the visits of Abu Bakr and Umar. He explained: “Uthman is a shy person. I felt that if he were to come in when I was in that position that he might be too shy to explain to me his business”.
In this story we see the prophet taking quick measure so that his visitor would not be overcome by his shyness if things appear too causal. The Prophet would not have done this. If it was wrong to be too shy the prophet would probably have mentioned his position and encouraged his visitor to explain the purpose of his visit trying to show him how to overcome shyness. The Prophet ‘s teachings, however, show that he valued shyness as a virtue, which is a credit point for any person to have. Anas ibn Malik quotes the Prophet as saying, “Shyness would adorn any situation, and aggressiveness would detract from any situation.” The same story of the Prophet’s attitude to a visit by Uthman is releated in a different way, which perhaps explains better how highly the Prophet valued shyness. It is again attributed to Aisha who states:” The Prophet was in a rposition in my home, with his thigh uncovered Abu Bakr sought to see him and left him come in. Abu Bakr explained what he came for. Umar then was admitted and he talked to the Prophet. Uthman later sought to see the Prophet. The Prophet sat up and tidied up his clothes before letting in Uthman and talking to him. When left I said: Messenger of God, Abu Bakr came in and you remained in your casual position. Umar then came in and you maintained the same position. When Uthman came in, you sat up and, tidied up your clothes.” He answered: “Would I not feel shy in the presence of a man who inspires shyness in angels?’
Perhaps we cannot appreciate the importance of being shy and having a keen sense of shame until we have reflected on this Hadith by the Prophet. “Faith is divided into 70 odd points. The most important of which is to believe that ‘there is no deity except God’ and the last of which is to remove what is harmful from the path of people. To be shy is one of the characteristics of faith.” (Related by Al-Bukhari).
We note here that the Prophet singles out shyness as a branch of faith although he mentions that faith has more than 70 points. This highlights its importance. There is, however, a special reason for the specific emphasis laid on shyness in this Hadith. Everything related to faith is normally a conscious effort. One has to take a positive action in order to fulfill it. This is clearly the case with the two points the Prophet mentions in his statement: One has to state clearly that he believes in the Oneness of God in order to fulfill the most important point of faith. Similarly, he has to take a positive action in order to remove what may be harmful to others, from their way. To be shy, on the other hand, is a personal characteristic. It is normally an instinctive attitude. This may cause some people to overlook it as a part of faith. Shyness, however, is not always instinctive. A person may make an effort to acquire such a habit, in the same way as he trains himself to do habitually any good thing, such as a person making an effort to be generous. Even when ‘shyness comes naturally to a person, using, it in accordance with Islamic values requires a conscious attitude of mind which ensures that a person is rewarded for it. It is indeed what a person does consciously that merits reward from God. It is in this respect that shyness is considered a characteristic of faith and a person is rewarded for it. There is no doubt that a naturally shy person finds it easier to have this Islamic virtue. This applies to many other virtues. Generosity, for example, comes much easier to certain people than others. That does not detract from the value of their generosity.
Some people suggest that a shy person may put himself at a disadvantage, by not claiming what is rightfully his. A person may lend another some money but feels too shy to claim it back when he needs it, or when the borrower delays repayment unnecessarily. The lender may prefer to borrow the same amount of money from a third person to asking the first borrower to pay him back. Even in such a situation, the Prophet tells us that to be shy is preferable. Abdullah ibn Umar relates that the Prophet passed by a man who was speaking to his brother and counseling him not to be too shy. The Prophet said to him: “Leave him alone. Shyness is a part of faith”. Perhaps the Prophet noticed that the man was in a difficult position, listening to his brother’s advice. He wanted both of them to realize that a balanced attitude was preferable. He, therefore, counseled the first one not to be too hard and explained the virtue of being shy.
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