Marriage

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:sl:

Alhamdulillah, I have found a great brother who wants to marry me. He is a hafid and he practice Islam and implements it. I want to marry him too but what I want to do is get married after I finish high school and he doesn't want to wait that long. Can someone please give me an advice of what i should do. I don't think that my parents will completly agree with me getting married during high school either.
 
Salam,
I think you should definitely wait until you have graduated. With age comes maturity generally. I wonder if he is in a rush for a certain thing that comes with marriage? Most high schoolers just don't have the life experience to enter into such a life long thing. I suggest you figure out exactly where you want to go in life, give yourself room to change and grow, and see how you feel then.
 
salaams

well perhaps it depends on you as a person

do you feel that not being married creats possibility for you to commit sins with young highschool boys if so than get married ASAP if not than finish your education and try to make him understand that you want to marry him too make him understand that school is important to you ( Which is what it sounds like to me)
why is he in such a big rush anyway whats eating at him

Maa salaama
 
anonymous said:
:sl:

Alhamdulillah, I have found a great brother who wants to marry me. He is a hafid and he practice Islam and implements it. I want to marry him too but what I want to do is get married after I finish high school and he doesn't want to wait that long. Can someone please give me an advice of what i should do. I don't think that my parents will completly agree with me getting married during high school either.
Click to expand...

salams sis

congrats, if you tell him that i think he'll wait insh... lol put it in nice terms 'bro u gotta wait or stress over nothing'

all the best with it.. Make dua that Allah grants u both patience, tell him that he never knows, maybe its khayr that u guys get married in a few years not now.. and really 3 or 4 years isn't much compared to the 30 or 50 or however many years Allah has written for you... it's hard to comprehend now but ull realise it later lol.

take
salamz
 
assalaamu alaykum,

look sister only you know your level of practice and life experience but ask yourself how much life experience Aisha (may allah be pleased with her) would have had when she married at 9?

she was still playing with dolls and yet that was fine to marry at that age because she was physically ready for marriage.

so can you personally cope with being married at your age?
how would you deal with the problems?
would you live with him and still continue going school or quit school?

now would you lose out on this marriage if you asked him to wait? if so perhaps it is best to go ahead if you feel ready.

at the end of the day there is absolutely nothing wrong with marrying during your school life, it is a good protection against the fitnah in the society around you.

i might also add attending mixed schooling is not allowed in islam anyway but i dont know if you go to a girls school or mixed school (please if people want to start a big discussion on that then start a new thread)

i have friends who married at a young age, one young couple i know live with one set of parents during the week and the others during the weekend because they are both are school so even if he is at school as well there is no real barrier to two being married if you can get the support of one or both your sets of parents.

or perhaps even better if he is a bit older and working but i dont know your exact situation and dont know much about this brother.

marriage is a massive blessing from Allah (swt) and marrying young a recommended practice of the prophet Muhammad (saws) and what is more it is great fun as well! (though also hard work at times)

the peace of mind and blessings found in a good marriage between pious partners is really something very special so dont dismiss this out of hand or force him to wait longer than necessary and therefore subjecting you both to fitnah.

but like i said, you know your situation best but also consult with your family as a sister needs a wali in such circumstances.

assalaamu alaykum,
Daw'ud
 
:sl:

My opinion in this matter is, you should think twice. He is being impuslive and impaitent. Of course marrying at young age is very good, but look at this as a 21st century, what is happening around the world to muslims. You need to work very hard effectively to have a successful marriage, especially in England.

I think the brother that wishes to marry you, seems to me that he just wants the reward of this marriage, which I am not going to write it. Before you come to any decision I very Highly recommand that you do the following:

1.) Consult with your Parents, notify them of everything you know about this brother.
2.) Ask the brother how will he support you, the children, and what are his plan for his career and life, and etc.
3.) Talk with your friends (Best & Closes ones only) and see what their opinions are.
4.) Lastly, think and write it down on a piece of paper all the things you have to consider if you do get married to him, housing, contiuning education in a University, and other essiential life's stuff.
Thats all I got to write so far, May Allah guide you to a right decision.

:w:
 
salam! i agree with bro limitless! the reason is that when you marry you have to make sure thats the right person, because even though divorce is permitted in islam, it upsets Allah dearly, so be carefull. (dont mean to sound scary lol) too many marriages are ending in divorce, so be good and ready! hope everything works out! inshallah!
 
It sounds like u guys think that he is in high school too. Alhamdulillah he is in college. He is young and is very responsible and i know that he can manage being a family man. But my only problem with getting married in high school is what if i get pregnant and i don't feel like i am mature enough to raise kids and and becoming a mother and all of that.
 
anonymous said:
It sounds like u guys think that he is in high school too. Alhamdulillah he is in college. He is young and is very responsible and i know that he can manage being a family man. But my only problem with getting married in high school is what if i get pregnant and i don't feel like i am mature enough to raise kids and and becoming a mother and all of that.
Click to expand...

The perfect reason to wait. You answered your own question.
 
:sl:

Marriage is half of deen - therefore, a very important step to take. Impulsive decisions usually come back to bite you.

Don't rush into it - you are both still young. Discuss the whole issue with your parents/wali. If the man is not willing to wait for you, then maybe it is not meant for you. Make istekhara as well.

:w:
 
out of all these i think brother DAWUD_UK's advice is the best, take heed to that sis inshaAllah.

:salamext:
 
Asalamu Alaikum Sis,

It is good to marry early... you both will complete half your deen and subject yourself to less fitnah.

I think you should marry him... IF he is able to support you in every way... and IF he allows you to finish high school and college.

If you decide to get married, have it in the marriage contract that he cannot stop you from completing your education.

Don't worry about becoming pregnant during high school... If you do become pregnant.. it is from Allah and it is a mercy and blessing. Allah will not burden you with anything you cannot handle.

He seems like a good practicing brother of good character who has memorized the Quran. It seems like he is just trying to get married to complete half his deen and complete the sunnah of marrying early.

Do istikhara and make your decision from there.

May Allah bless you, Inshallah.

Ma'salaama,
Hamid
 

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