sister trouble

[anonymous]

Assalamualaikum.......brothers and sisters

my younger sis is always chatting , whenever she uses internet. Sometimes when i wake up at 1 or 2.am at night. Still she is infront of the PC either using msn chat or yahoo chat. Of course these are not her friends, but strangers.
And whenever i stop her , she ends up shouting, and yelling at me.Or she would say to mom, that"i am disturbing her".

I have tried to tell her that it is not good to talk to strangers, but everytime when i tell her, she ends up shouting at me, and that i should shut up.And after that she doesnot talks to me.

ppl who chat with strangers, end up in big problems, most of the time.

so how do i help her, when she doesnot want to listen a word from me?( i am really worried about her)

wasalam

 

[Ameeratul Layl]

Assalamualaikum.......brothers and sisters

my younger sis is always chatting , whenever she uses internet. Sometimes when i wake up at 1 or 2.am at night. Still she is infront of the PC either using msn chat or yahoo chat. Of course these are not her friends, but strangers.
And whenever i stop her , she ends up shouting, and yelling at me.Or she would say to mom, that"i am disturbing her".

I have tried to tell her that it is not good to talk to strangers, but everytime when i tell her, she ends up shouting at me, and that i should shut up.And after that she doesnot talks to me.

ppl who chat with strangers, end up in big problems, most of the time.

so how do i help her, when she doesnot want to listen a word from me?( i am really worried about her)

wasalam

First of all, I am proud to hear that you are trying to help your sister.

Indeed, her 'chatting' seems more of an addiction than anything else. Then again, I may be wrong.

Have you told your parents about the situation?

 

[*Umm_Umar*]

Sister

I suggest you tell your parents what you've told us.. Inshallah maybe then they could limit the amount of time she use the internet?
Also maybe try taking up a hobbie together, something that would distract her from always wanting to go on the internet.

 

[ZOREENA]

Yeah its normaly through boredom that kidz get hooked on them chat rooms and that!!! why dont u try and get a lock on it?? but i know i woodnt be happy if my big sister told on me...so i think try between u both and if she dont settle down...threaten her maybe...coz its hard being bored...then again u could get her onto the forum or learning things or doin a project together about prophets or sumthing...or paint arabic pictures...as in writing etc!! think am gona do that wiv my wee sis!!

 

[thc]

Asalamu alaikum warahmtullhi wabraktuhu,


what is her age?

 

[- Qatada -]

:salamext:


She might be addicted to it and feel like she wants to talk to people behind a screen, she probably feels safer that way.

So instead of stopping her completely, why not link her to this site? It's an indirect way of making her stop doing unuseful things, and she can talk to people here while learning about islam insha'Allaah.


:wasalamex

 

[searchingsoul]

I think her age is an important factor. If she's a minor I would urge your parents to limit her computer usage. Also if it is interfering with her job or school she needs to stop the chatting sessions. I've also read that chatting to the opposite sex is wrong. Maybe you should tell her this.

 

[Halima]

See, anytime I get on the computer, my mom always, always and always tells me not to talk to strangers and she is absolutely correct.

You may never know what these strangers have in the back of their heads or what their intentions are. Some of them even come in the form of a female when they truly are not.

You must reminder her of the stories when girls would be killed by a rapist or when they would get murdered just from meeting a friend online.

Some of us don't realize the degree of how addicted we are to the internet only when someone tells us.

May Allah azawajal give her guidness and prudence.

 

[bint_muhammed]

grab her by the hair and pull her off, thats what i do! lol i'm only joking! yeah i think tell ya parents!

 

[Looking4Peace]

depends on what shes doign if shes chatting with strange men thats no good and very dangerous especially if shes young and easy to manipulate, just talk to her first before u rat on her, sometimes thats best to avoid resentment

 

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

I think everyone has given perfect advice..try it. Maybe talking to her first is better. If she doesnt listen, its only important that u tell ur parents. Id rather rat her than something happen to her...after talking to her of course.

 

[DigitalStorm82]

Asalamu Alaikum,

I'd like to point out something in the opposite direction.

She's young and curious about the affairs of this world. I hope your parents have given your sis a good islamic and good moral foundation so she doesn't fall into the sin of bf/gf relationships or zina, God forbid.

Basically, I hope she doesn't do what everyone else is doing. I hope she has a good sense of understanding between right and wrong.

Having said that... I'd like to say that it is better for her to learn what nonsense is filled in these kind of relationships and so called opposite sex "friends" on the internet than to experience that first hand in real life.

It is better for her to come to an understanding... ON HER OWN regarding these issues through internet, behind a screen vs. real life.

Telling her straight up... don't do it.. its bad... IT SIMPLY WON'T work.. She will only stop when she see's it for herself. It's human nature.

Of course there should be a limitation to the amount of time she spends on the computer as shataan is always there when there is a mixed gathering.

My advice to you would be to stop the computer usage at night time... and only let her use the computer when everyone is around. That will prevent her from talking about things she shouldn't be talking about... Another solution is to move the computer into a family room where she's not alone.

At the same time... you should encourage her to practice Islam... THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. The subjects of Islam should include loving Allah and his prophet. You shouldn't bring up the ruling on talking with strange men for a while... because if she doesn't love Allah and His prophet... through her heart, tongue and actions... it is pointless to tell her to stop because it isn't allowed in Islam. She'll simply reject it.

You have to soften her heart to Islam first, and Inshallah she'll change from within.

May Allah make it easy for you and your family, Inshallah.

W'salaamz,
Hamid

 

[bint_muhammed]

Asalamu Alaikum,

I'd like to point out something in the opposite direction.

She's young and curious about the affairs of this world. I hope your parents have given your sis a good islamic and good moral foundation so she doesn't fall into the sin of bf/gf relationships or zina, God forbid.

Basically, I hope she doesn't do what everyone else is doing. I hope she has a good sense of understanding between right and wrong.

Having said that... I'd like to say that it is better for her to learn what nonsense is filled in these kind of relationships and so called opposite sex "friends" on the internet than to experience that first hand in real life.

It is better for her to come to an understanding... ON HER OWN regarding these issues through internet, behind a screen vs. real life.

Telling her straight up... don't do it.. its bad... IT SIMPLY WON'T work.. She will only stop when she see's it for herself. It's human nature.

Of course there should be a limitation to the amount of time she spends on the computer as shataan is always there when there is a mixed gathering.

My advice to you would be to stop the computer usage at night time... and only let her use the computer when everyone is around. That will prevent her from talking about things she shouldn't be talking about... Another solution is to move the computer into a family room where she's not alone.

At the same time... you should encourage her to practice Islam... THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. The subjects of Islam should include loving Allah and his prophet. You shouldn't bring up the ruling on talking with strange men for a while... because if she doesn't love Allah and His prophet... through her heart, tongue and actions... it is pointless to tell her to stop because it isn't allowed in Islam. She'll simply reject it.

You have to soften her heart to Islam first, and Inshallah she'll change from within.

May Allah make it easy for you and your family, Inshallah.

W'salaamz,
Hamid

nice! mashallah good advice bro!

 

[REPSTER]

threaten her that u will pull out the internet wire, if she does not listen
take it ,go in ur room lock, the door and dont giv it back.

ur older so she cant say anything too u ,if she tell mum and dad,
say she is being naughty on the net and i care 4 here and dont
want her to go astray:brother:

If that dont work the best thing to do is smack her silly(joke)

 

[imran_c]

i have an idea i did this to my brother and it works perfectly what i do is block the msn through norton antivirus through the firewall so he or in your case she will think its down and will do something else. or you netgear if you have a router and do that or i would just inform your parents. you could also keylog your sister by installing a keylogging program which will store every word she used in a convo and everythign and what sites she went to everythign without her nowing and whta you can do then is simply print it out and show your parents what shes been up to.