My situation..help please

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ali2coolwitu

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Hi. I am an 18 year old muslim, and i was born here but i am iranian. I have met this girl who is mexican,egyptian, and italian and i love her. She loves me so much as well. I really want to marry her, and she tells me she wants to be with me for the rest of my life. She is not muslim however, but she is VERY VERY willing to become muslim.

BUT, the thing is about her history. She has dated 3 mexicans in her whole life when she was young (15), and she kissed them on the lips before, but she never really "loved" them and never did ANYTHING but a kiss on the lips with them and only went out with them for like one week each. This really bugs me because im muslim because she has a "bad" history! She also talks to other guys sometimes and likes to show off her good looks and grabs a lot of attention, but she never hangs out with other guys or anything. She just loves getting attention but she is VERY VERY willing to change to a good loyal muslim. She has also gone to a club before with her girl friends and danced a little, and she has gone to drunk parties but she has NEVER EVER been drunk or has done any drugs..she just sat there at those parties..

So basically, she is like one of those americanized girls who hasnt done very many bad things but still went clubbing and partying and "went out" with 3 mexican guys but has not done ANYTHING but kiss them on the lips before. My question is, is it OK if i date her and decide to marry her? I want to marry her because she is such an intelligent, beautiful, and loving girl and she is very willing to become muslim as well..BUT she is "filthy" because of her past history and want a clean girl but i love her and i cant do anything about it..Can she ask for forgiveness to clear her horrible history if she becomes muslim? And will i be OK if i be with her, or will Allah punish me for doing this? What do i do from here? I dont know WHAT TO DO and i love her so much, but her past history is KILLING me because im a muslim and i dont know what to do from here.
 
if she becomes Muslim and practices, Allah will forgive her past, and definately go ahead and marry her inshalah. Just make sure she understand the terms she'll be agreeing on when she becomes Muslim.. you don't want to have a situation where she accepts based on emotion and then decides she cant handle it or something...

all the best.
 
Geez why are u making her out to be some monster, u know most american girls have sex, drink etc at least shes much better then most being a non muslim and all give her a break your lucky to even have found someone so pure being a non muslim, gosh shes a virgin, im not even a virgin i was with one guy for 3 years and now a muslim is willing to marry me cause he knows i reverted and i dont have a bad past considering what most people here live like, just cause i had one boyfriend before i reverted and drank once in awhile is far from having a bad past when u consider most peoples past including some muslims at that, and this girl ur talking about hasnt even done that much, hello whats ur complaints about!!!!!! +o(


her question should be do you deserve her being u cant let go of the fact that she stood as a bystander at a few parties and "kissed" guys before:giggling:
 
^^ sis relax there's nothing wrong with asking :rollseyes
 
how is she filthy? man you have a true biased opinion of those who are different, the girl is a virgin i would say PURE
 
lolwatever said:
^^ sis relax there's nothing wrong with asking :rollseyes
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hes being way to hard on her, i mean way to hard shes a virgin and never even drank and is a non muslim thats more than i can say for half the muslims i know, if the guy who wants to marry me heard this he would be scratching his head!!
 
sis if she becomes Muslim that's all forgiven, he was just asking whether that will be accounted for when she becomese Muslim...

definately if she becomes Muslim and continues to do that knowing that its haram, that's deffo filthy, no diff to other Muslims who commit zina and drink, american or not american doesnt make a difference... The hadith clearly makes the point "a woman may be married for beauty, wealth status et.c.... so marry that of the religion may you be successful"

soo.. if she becomes Muslim and quits all that, then definatly he should marry her and all her past is forgiven and she's pure. (even if she commited zina before Islam) Otherwise, i think he should look for someone else who is more practising to help him in this dunya and hereafter....

ps: and btw bro all2cool.. it's haram to date her b4 ur married... get engaged and married.. das the way to go.
 
stop preaching i obviously know all this having reverted some time ago but him saying shes filthy was highly offensive being that i am a revert and did u forget shes a VIRGIN, so what does that make me about having a 3 yr relationship with my ex before i reverted? in fact the guy who wants to marry me was shocked i didnt do more meaning had way more guys then just 1 cause he knows how most americans are in general and appreciates the fact that i dont have such a past, but anyway can u see how that is offensive? maybe he should realize that he has something good there.
 
a. I'm not trying to take a go at you.

b. You don't have to tell us about your past, as far as Allah is concerned, that's 100% forgiven, as if it didn't happen. That doesn't and shouldn't influence any Muslim's view of you.

c. The bro is asking a question, if you find it offensive, too bad.. he wants to learn whether you like it or not. he wanted an answer and help, not an admonition and attacks.

d. incase you think i'm being sexist, same applies to guys.
 
i know its forgiven my point was shes not that bad so why is he making her out to be some prostitute in fact im gonna have my husband to be take a look at this thread to get a good laugh in.
 
he should just be concerned with how good of a Muslim she is willing to become and if he has feelings and wants to marry her for the right reasons so be it, sorry for going off the handle.
 
Crystal4Peace said:
i know its forgiven my point was shes not that bad so why is he making her out to be some prostitute in fact im gonna have my husband to be take a look at this thread to get a good laugh in.
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a. Where did he say she's a prostitute?

b. You're comparing her relative to a Kafir standard, if we place her on an Islamic scale she wouldn't be ranked very highly. The minute she becomes Muslim, all that past is discarded and she's back at the top.

c. i'm writing in dot points so i don't seem like im "lecturing you".
 
Crystal4Peace said:
he should just be concerned with how good of a Muslim she is willing to become and if he has feelings and wants to marry her for the right reasons so be it, sorry for going off the handle.
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cool yeh i agree :statisfie :statisfie

sorry if i sounded arrogant or nething..
salamz all the best
 
simple shes not a muslim yet and if shes gonna become one she surely shouldnt be judged the way hes talking about her, can we drop this now =)
 
ok, you dont understand. A girl who goes and kisses other guys is filthy to me. Im sorry, if you are even TOUCHED by other guys, it doesnt seem right. A girl whos untouched is pure to me. Am i not right lolwhatever?? Going to parties and clubbing is a hoey/slutty act to me when they dance with their asses moving around and stuff..i mean its just filthy. I dont mean to offend you, but in my views, a girl who has had other males touch her, is filthy to me if im looking to marry her..


and lolwhatever, so i cant date her till we get married? I mean we really love each other and we see each other sometimes and really like each other..
 
And if you look at the girls in iran, they have freedom, but mostly ALL of them are so clean and never talk to guys and never even touched. Thats what im used to, and thats what i want. Sure my girlfriend is good compared to most americans, but i want her good compared to iranians and i am very grateful to have a girl like her that isnt as "bad" as most people in america, but i want to help her into a more pure girl
 
yeh i agree with you bro, inshalah when she bcomes Muslim that's allllllll forgiven and don't remind her of her past too :) there's alot of guys who do the same thing and even worse (drugs!) but once they Muslim, finitto, khalas, all over.

yeh bro coz if u date her it can lead to things liek adultery/fornication and all those filthy things, so if you both happy with each other, convince her to becoem Muslim (but amke sure she understands wat islam requiers! (prayer, fasting etc)... and then get marreid to her as soooon as posssibleeee and you can live happily ever after :D
 
maybe u need to understand once she reverts all that is forgiven and she still is pretty pure she has not had sex so u will be taking her virginity if u guys marry

again once revert all past is forgiven as long as she behaves islamically from then on as in my case

wish you the best.:)
 
ok thank you. Thank you very much for your kindness lolwhatever. Do you have msn messenger because id like to speak to you some more some time when you have time!
 
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