Salaam o alaikum,
SubhanAllah. What a point you do bring up brother.
These are the little details of life I sometimes feel many of us (including myself) dont ponder upon. Truly if we did ponder upon the Qur'an, it brings to light all of what you say. Forgiveness and patience are taught to us oh so beautifully in surah Yusuf. Never once did Prophet Yusuf (A.S) mention again what injustices his brothers had carried out against him. And in the end, when all was revealed, what does Prophet Yusuf (A.S) say?
"He said: "No reproach on you this day; may Allah forgive you, and He is the Most Merciful of those who show mercy!" 12:92
And not just that! When he (A.S) meets his father, he in no way counts all his sufferings. He says:
"...He (Allah) was indeed been good to me, when He took me out of the prison, and brought you (all here) out of the bedouin life, after Shaitan (Satan) had sown enmity between me and my brothers..." 12:100
SubhanAllah!
If one is not willing to put aside those memories, never bringing them back again, and being just with the person/party in question, it just cannot be called forgiveness.
Atleast that is how I see it.
WAllahuAlim.
May Allah(SWT) forgive me and us all, and have mercy on us and guide us. May He grant us the understanding of His Qur'an and true patience and strength to act upon it's lessons. Aameen.
JazakAllah brother. Excellent thread.
Alaikum Salaam