Any married brothers here?

DaNgErOuS MiNdS said:
:w:

Does one have to be married to answer those questions?? because I think brother before they are married would have same answers when they are married.

I'm not married but i'll answer them anyway I dont feel I need more then one wife unless a problem/issue arises and it would be more benficial to get married again.

I think there will always be an element of doubt in the back of my mind but can anyone ever be 100% sure how the marriage will go???no

I have been married exactly 0 days.


Wouldn't it be a good idea if the sisters were to answer the questions aswell? I think it would provide a better insight.
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MashaAllahhh! Good reply!
Yeah and now dangerous bro has said it.. I do think sisters input will beneficial too. So here's mine inshaAllah.

As you're not married Anon bro, all your desires have been suppressed for so long that they are overwhelming you. I am sure this is the only reason you feel one wife won't be enough. I am certain that once you do get married you won't feel like you do now. Agree?

I'll stop there, although sumthin else did cross my mind. But I'll save that for now.
 
:sl: wr wb.


Ok well... Did you feel before marriage that you may need more than one wife?
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Ones enough lol.

Also did you feel 100% certain about your wife, before marrying her?
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No, thats the step u gota take. If you think too much about that, you'll probably never end up getin maried.. u can only truely find out by takin that step, but before that do istikharah inshaallah.
 
-Shakirah- said:
can't he keep the 'more then one wife' thing to himself, or at least get one first!
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well u see he can't keep it to himself cuz that's the biggest dilemma he has... and that's why he scared of getting a wife in the first place..

PS sorry for talking about u as if ur not here anon bro.. it's jus easier..:uhwhat
 
... It comes down to that I don't want to hurt her or any prospective bride.:cry:

If I didn't care, I'd just marry her, have my fun and divorce her/marry another wife.
 
Anonymous Tester said:
... It comes down to that I don't want to hurt her or any prospective bride.:cry:

If I didn't care, I'd just marry her, have my fun and divorce her/marry another wife.
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you definitely wanna get married right? Cuz the other option is staying single and fasting for the rest of ur life. And I don't think u want that.

So you have to get married. And you don't want to hurt your wife either. :)

So if you care that much before ur married, then simply don't marry a second woman.

See life isn't all about fulfilling our own desires. Sometimes for others' sake we have to make sacrifices. And the biggest sacrifice is of our nafs. And the strongest point I'll make is that remember bro, the fulfillment of worldly desires is temporary.. so why stress if they are fulfilled or not?

Your real life is after death. Who cares if some of our desires are never fulfilled. It's not like we're here for ever and ever and ever.......... what's the big deal? :?

say Bismillah, have good intentions and go for it.
 
Salaam

I am married and i do not feel i need another wife. I know Allaah allows that but i also understand that the revelation has been misunderstood and even abused.

The verse was revealed at a time when many Muslims were martyed in battle and that left many opharns that needed looking after. In order to look after the women and their orphans, and without falling into sin, the men were permitted to marry more than one wife.

It would only be fair, for myself to marry again if it was a woman seeking marriage and she had orphans to look after. Not for my own lusts.

With dual marriages women can also become deeply jealous and depressed, therefore it requires somebody, with a pure heart and sincere to maintain the emotional needs of these women.

wasalaams
 
Abu Ibraheem said:
Salaam

I am married and i do not feel i need another wife. I know Allaah allows that but i also understand that the revelation has been misunderstood and even abused.

The verse was revealed at a time when many Muslims were martyed in battle and that left many opharns that needed looking after. In order to look after the women and their orphans, and without falling into sin, the men were permitted to marry more than one wife.

It would only be fair, for myself to marry again if it was a woman seeking marriage and she had orphans to look after. Not for my own lusts.

With dual marriages women can also become deeply jealous and depressed, therefore it requires somebody, with a pure heart and sincere to maintain the emotional needs of these women.

wasalaams
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Were you certain of her 100% beforehand?
 
Muslimah_Sis said:
you definitely wanna get married right? Cuz the other option is staying single and fasting for the rest of ur life. And I don't think u want that.

So you have to get married. And you don't want to hurt your wife either. :)

So if you care that much before ur married, then simply don't marry a second woman.

See life isn't all about fulfilling our own desires. Sometimes for others' sake we have to make sacrifices. And the biggest sacrifice is of our nafs. And the strongest point I'll make is that remember bro, the fulfillment of worldly desires is temporary.. so why stress if they are fulfilled or not?

Your real life is after death. Who cares if some of our desires are never fulfilled. It's not like we're here for ever and ever and ever.......... what's the big deal? :?

say Bismillah, have good intentions and go for it.
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Currently she is a "free agent" and well I can't exactly stall her family while I do istikhara? Would they want to hear from me even anyway?
 
Salaams - Please dont take this the wrong way and im not trying to be mean But dont ruin her life just because u cant decide and dont want to miss the boat - so to speak.
Sort out your own feelings and issues regarding marriage and when u feel ur ready to be a good muslim husband then decide to get married.

Hope u dont read this the wrong way .....but it is late in Australia now (gotta go sleep)... so forgive me if i havent phrased myself politely.
 
Give me another month, if everything goes according to plan, i shall return with good advise..
 
SirZubair said:
Give me another month, if everything goes according to plan, i shall return with good advise..
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Assalamu alaikum

he! he! he! You going back home.

Back to the point. Get married when you feel ready & the duties that come with it.
 
Going back to the original questions. Currently I am not married. However, it looks like that will change in about a year.

I have been Married twice in the past. First time for 25 years, second time for 17 years.

No, I was not 100% certain prior to marriage either time nor am I 100% certain now. However, I was certain that if any problems came up they would not be anything that could not be resolved.

I have never had and still do not have any desire for more then one wife at a time. My preference is to be able to be the best husband possible to one and not be a mediocre husband to more then one.
 
Woodrow said:
Going back to the original questions. Currently I am not married. However, it looks like that will change in about a year.

I have been Married twice in the past. First time for 25 years, second time for 17 years.

No, I was not 100% certain prior to marriage either time nor am I 100% certain now. However, I was certain that if any problems came up they would not be anything that could not be resolved.

I have never had and still do not have any desire for more then one wife at a time. My preference is to be able to be the best husband possible to one and not be a mediocre husband to more then one.
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wow! it's a real honour to have someone your age here...
 
Anonymous Tester said:
Currently she is a "free agent" and well I can't exactly stall her family while I do istikhara? Would they want to hear from me even anyway?
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istikhara is only a matter of few days bro. And if you believe in yourself then that should give you the courage to bring up the matter with her family again. No harm in trying is there?
 
:sl:

Prayed istikhara yesterday night.

Had a few dreams.

One was about travelling.

One was about reciting Quran.

Nothing clear though...

Before things were broken off though, a few months ago, I did have a dream where I was praying in jamat with her brothers.
 

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