how do you stop?

who would walk on a beach with sunbathers around anyway
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well, you might not know they're there.. or could turn up after you and start sunbathing.. so it is possible you know lol
 
^lol@getting stepped over! so true...

Maybe one day in the future someone will invent muslim glasses, so when you see nudity it actually shows up as people wearing islamic clothing lol.

Is there a difference in Islam between admiring the beauty of a woman without having lustful thoughts? Probably not. Although I have personally looked at a woman, thought to myself "That woman is good looking" and then went about my business without even considering some lustful temptation.
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I agree that no everyone who looks at a beautiful person has lustful thoughts, but the possibility is always there. Lowering the gaze is a preventative measure.

The other thing is that the one being looked at may think they're being given the eye and hence allow lustful thoughts come into their head. So it can be harmful both ways.
 
:sl: what helps for me is keeping the Akhirah in mind....

so if you're ever tempted just think...is this act gonna help me in the hereafter? coz the pleasure is momentary but the punishment is way greater...dont live for this world.... :w:
 
:sl:

How do i stop? Well, what i do is lower my gaze or look at something in the opposite direction, like if a man is coming from right side, i would look at the left side..lol

But thats not it. My mind works along like i tell myself "You have to save ur gaze just for ur hubby" "Allah will be pleased with me" "Its shaytan who is trying to tempt me and i wont fall in his trap inshaAllah" "I believe Allah will reward me for this inshaAllah" etc That's like a self-talk in my mind that helps me lower the gaze. That reminds me that i am not just trying to secure my world but also my hereafter.

Hope that helps you as much as it helps me ameen inshaAllah.

:w:
 
I must admit, it really is diffcult to lower the gaze. Not at all times but for me mainly when talking to the opposite gender. I can walk for miles without looking up but when I'm talking to someone, I find it real hard not to make eye contact. That's because it was drummed into us at school that it's rude not to.

I remember walking into a book shop recently and asking the bro behind the counter if they had a certain book. The poor broz eyes hit the floor when I got there, but mine were on him. Astaghfirullah, I had to remind myself to look down. It feels so weird not looking at the person you're talking to. But I'm getting there. :-\

If you aren't already parents, you will be one day inshaAllah. So it's a good thing to start teaching your kids this practice before they reach puberty. It's hard for an old dog to learn to tricks. Lol!
 
Salam Alaikum,
Lol, honestly, I don't think the whole 'don't look up' thing works. I mean, as a sister, I would WANT to know WHO and WHAT is around me. I suppose the best thing you can do is make dua that Allah make it easier for you to be able to see someone of the opposite gender without automatic feelings of lust, and then, when you actually are out and see people, keep in mind WHY Allah has forbade was He has, andthe punishments.
Salam
 
Greetings,
Muslimah_Sis said:
It feels so weird not looking at the person you're talking to. But I'm getting there. :-\

If you aren't already parents, you will be one day inshaAllah. So it's a good thing to start teaching your kids this practice before they reach puberty. It's hard for an old dog to learn to tricks. Lol!
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There is an extraordinary cultural difference being made apparent here. In most of the world (as far as I'm aware) looking at the person you're speaking to is considered utterly normal and polite. That people are so afraid of the sexual act that they would try to repress this behaviour is baffling to me.

Peace
 
czgibson said:
Greetings,


There is an extraordinary cultural difference being made apparent here. In most of the world (as far as I'm aware) looking at the person you're speaking to is considered utterly normal and polite. That people are so afraid of the sexual act that they would try to repress this behaviour is baffling to me.

Peace
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Greetings to you Friend,

I don't think the problem is merely looking at the opposite gender - this, to the best of my knowledge, is permissible in Islam as long as it does not lead to sexual arousal or becomes innapropriate. For example, staring at the backside of a woman as she walks by is not appropriate; however, looking at the person of the opposite gender that you are interacting with (within the limitations of Islam) is harmless, and as you said, a form of politeness and respect.

If you think about it, it makes sense. I think it's safe to say that most women, regardless of religion, don't really appreciate being looked at like a piece of meat :)

Anyway, I hope this clarifies the issue a bit :)

Peace :)
 
Here is a good description about what I was saying. I got this from ---

"Guarding your gaze is a good practice that fosters modest interaction between the sexes. The Quran commands both believing men and women to guard their gaze. Unfortunately, many Muslims have lost this practice. What guarding the gaze means is that you should refrain from staring at a woman's face (if she's not a member of your unmarriageable kin or your wife). It does not mean keeping one's eyes glued to the ground. In Western societies, guarding one's gaze can sometimes be interpreted as a lack of assertiveness or respect for the other person. However, with Muslims, guarding one's gaze indicates respect for the other person's space and modesty of intention. Our scholars have said that looking at a woman's face is permitted in certain occasions. For example, if you are seeking a woman in marriage, it is permitted to look at her face. If you work in any type of job that requires you to look at people and interact with them, looking is permitted as long as you don't look with desire. If you are a teacher, looking at your female students is permitted as long as you don't look more than necessary or with desire. In short, be modest and respectful."
 

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