Drugs! Heroin! need help & advice...pls

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:sl:

Brothers and sisters! specailly those living in the UK...or be it another country...pls help me & my family! :cry:

I only have two brothers, and sadly they are on drugs (heroin) for more then 8 yrs now! its so difficult really. because my father is a pentioner and weak and my mother is very helpless too. Many time with the help of my sisters and many cousins we have tried to rahabilitate them...with money here in the UK and in our country. 8 time we tried. but they always go back to it. its so difficult.

if feel so sorry for my mother. she is suffering the most, financially & mentally. i feel she is so depressed because sometimes she says she'd rather die!:cry: i feel helpless, because i am the youngest. i cannot do anything! we're all so depressed! we dnt have any1 really, that can help us anymore. we've tried everything. & our family doesnt have any males & strong who are older then them, so thats the difficulty. :cry:

when my sisters & mother cries to them, they say they do want to sort out. they say cant, because of the environment. when we took them to our home country after rehab, they went back into it, over there because Heroin is so cheap there. :'( :'( :'( :'( ...we've tried everything. :cry: ...my mother and father are fed-up and i dnt want them to die unhappy. i want them to see my brothers better and moving on b4 they leave us! :cry: :cry: :cry:

so please brother and sister, please tell me whatwe can do? what more there is in the UK or around the world that we can try which may give my parents a little smile in their face? :cry: ...:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: (i am looking for services as well as islamic help really)

thank you

:w:
 
I do not know the answer straight away but I know a person that was a heroin addict for 5 years and then last year got help and stopped. I will go to see her in the next 2 days and find out what she did and post the answer. I hope you can wait that long, if no-one else here can halp you.
 
samah12 said:
I do not know the answer straight away but I know a person that was a heroin addict for 5 years and then last year got help and stopped. I will go to see her in the next 2 days and find out what she did and post the answer. I hope you can wait that long, if no-one else here can halp you.
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okay thank you. but the problem is, they've been sorted like 8 times now. but they keep going bak to it! i feel only allah can help, but then we also need help here in the world. :cry: :cry: :cry: ...how long will we need to wait? its getting to me now :cry: :cry:
 
The lady I know had help to stop many times but always went back, until last year so I will find out as quickly as possible what it was they did, I know it was something she never tried before.
 
I have used many drugs in my past (not heroin though) and I can say from experiance, if they don't trully want to stop then there is nothing that you or anyone can do to help. Most times it takes someone hitting rock bottom to see the error of their ways. I hope your brothers don't have to get to that point, but it may be the only way they will stop.
 
AsalamuAlaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh,

I'm so sorry sis

May Allah (Swt) grant you and your family sabr. (patience) inshaAllah,

Always believe in your brothers, that they can overcome this! Always make dua to Allah (swt) he is the best of helpers.

Try and get your brothers books about death and the afterlife so that they are fully aware of consequences, the hell-fire and remembrance of the hell fire is the best deterrance from sins inshaAllah May Allah (swt) save us from the torments of the fire.

Today in college we had a talk from this brother from London, he's a convert Alhamdhulillah, and he talked about his struggles and how he was influenced into drugs, But through reading a few Ahmed Deedat books he was able to see the truth, day by day he realised Allah (swt) was giving him chances and he thought he has to stop doing drugs and return the favour back to Allah (Swt)...

I can't explain exactly what he said, But basically this lifes temporary, and one day we will have to answer to all that we done.

WalaykumSalaam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.
 
They must be getting the drugs from someone they know, find out who that person is. and sort them out. Go to the source/ supplier of the drugs.Probably a close mater of theirs or someone. Sending them bakc home wont do nothing, only makes matters worse. Stay strong, keep trying. dont give up.
 
There is really no way you could stop addict. He is the only one who can do it. usually it means that they have to hit bottom to try to stop.

Don't even think about blaming yourself, or taking responsiblity for your brothers.
Take care for yourself and the rest of your family - that is all yo can and should do.
and pray.
 
tomtomsmom said:
I have used many drugs in my past (not heroin though) and I can say from experiance, if they don't trully want to stop then there is nothing that you or anyone can do to help. Most times it takes someone hitting rock bottom to see the error of their ways. I hope your brothers don't have to get to that point, but it may be the only way they will stop.
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oh...u see i cnt exactly calculate, but we've been trying for so long. :cry: ..sometimes i get so angry, & i think to myself, maybe somehow if i get them to do time. while they are in the jail, they'll get over it! i know that sounds stupid , but i really want them to be away from these youths who propbably keep on getting them back on it. also i hear sometimes wen ppl r in jail, they think about life seriously, then change.:cry:
 
|)431)M1 said:
AsalamuAlaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh,

I'm so sorry sis

May Allah (Swt) grant you and your family sabr. (patience) inshaAllah,

Always believe in your brothers, that they can overcome this! Always make dua to Allah (swt) he is the best of helpers.

Try and get your brothers books about death and the afterlife so that they are fully aware of consequences, the hell-fire and remembrance of the hell fire is the best deterrance from sins inshaAllah May Allah (swt) save us from the torments of the fire.

Today in college we had a talk from this brother from London, he's a convert Alhamdhulillah, and he talked about his struggles and how he was influenced into drugs, But through reading a few Ahmed Deedat books he was able to see the truth, day by day he realised Allah (swt) was giving him chances and he thought he has to stop doing drugs and return the favour back to Allah (Swt)...

I can't explain exactly what he said, But basically this lifes temporary, and one day we will have to answer to all that we done.

WalaykumSalaam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.
Click to expand...

they won't listen to any dawah. its like they've lost so much ...:enough!: ...the only time they pray is EID..thats it sis. they used to go jummah, but thats gone too. they havnt forgotten their surrahs alhamdulliah, nor how to pray or anything about islam. :cry: ..but what your suggessting: they wnt read. cos they know what they r doing is wrong :cry:
 
Anonymous Tester said:
They must be getting the drugs from someone they know, find out who that person is. and sort them out. Go to the source/ supplier of the drugs.Probably a close mater of theirs or someone. Sending them bakc home wont do nothing, only makes matters worse. Stay strong, keep trying. dont give up.
Click to expand...

anon...you see where we r from has a lot drug users & drug dealers. thers no point figuring that out. one of my brother is out all night. my parents cannot do anything. i have a feeling he does drug dealing. but then again, i cannot be right. they've grown up, so my mother is afraid to talk to them. she says, in this situation, without realising, what if they raise hand on me? :cry: ..they may not no what they r doing.:cry: so our life is very difficult ...pls pray all:cry:
 
duskiness said:
There is really no way you could stop addict. He is the only one who can do it. usually it means that they have to hit bottom to try to stop.

Don't even think about blaming yourself, or taking responsiblity for your brothers.
Take care for yourself and the rest of your family - that is all yo can and should do.
and pray.
Click to expand...

thank you 4 your support. i know its all there WILL...but i still wanted to know any charities or company's that sort these ppl out. we r so in need.:cry: . my parents do blame themselves: they say maybe they didnt keep a eye on them when they were young. :cry: or if we had catch them earlier, we would have been able to get them out of it. :cry: but seriously, i know its not my parents fault.its where we live, the area.

lifes getting difficult because i am growing up. & one day i'll need to get married. Imagine how ppl will react to this family. although my brothers are the ones in the wrong, me or my sisters or my family have never done wrong. but ppl will judge me & my family upon my brothers. :cry: :cry: :cry: im so worried of what ppl will say
 
at least 2 posters have already mentioned that somebody on drugs, is not going to stop unless they want to. There is no way to force somebody to stop drugs. Many rehab centers have tried the use of forced withdrawal from drugs and to the best of my knowledge that even with the people who seemed to have been 'cured" they returned to drugs in just a matter of days and in some cases just a matter of hours.

the best any outsider can do is to make constant Du'a that the person will wake up and see the light. But, it has to be their own choice.

The most difficult thing is for family and friends to show tough love and stop all efforts to help the person. It calls for a flat setting down the rules. You do drugs you are out. I love you but a drug addict is not welcome in my house now please pack your bags and leave. I do not know you but if my brother ever returns the door will be open for him.
 
Woodrow said:
The most difficult thing is for family and friends to show tough love and stop all efforts to help the person. It calls for a flat setting down the rules. You do drugs you are out. I love you but a drug addict is not welcome in my house now please pack your bags and leave. I do not know you but if my brother ever returns the door will be open for him.
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yep. ithink ive learnt its all their WILL :cry: regarding tough love and stopping efforts. its impossible for my mother to do that. we all can do that easily, but she finds it hard sometimes. i understand her, its her children afterall.:cry:

we tried kicking them out, with police force also. but they return, begging as they have no where to go. my mum is soft hearted, so she lets them back in. wer so fed-up of all this. Please all, seriously make dua for my family. thank you
 
Anonymous Tester said:
oh...u see i cnt exactly calculate, but we've been trying for so long. :cry: ..sometimes i get so angry, & i think to myself, maybe somehow if i get them to do time. while they are in the jail, they'll get over it! i know that sounds stupid , but i really want them to be away from these youths who propbably keep on getting them back on it. also i hear sometimes wen ppl r in jail, they think about life seriously, then change.:cry:
Click to expand...

:sl:

I feel for you anon, having someone like that in your family is not easy, people seem to start judgung you because of them...

As for you saying prison is the cure...that's kind of what i thought would have been best for someone very close in relation to me, day in day out dealing with Class A drugs was hardly something i would hae expected from a person who was always praying 5 prayers daily, wearing a hat etc.... But one thing led to another, i saw a change, and then heard a few things...next thing i know it's prison for him..

Few months in, comes back out, still does his prayers, goes to see his family outside just his own family etc...and then i hear 'old habbits die hard' he's back in the act....

Agreed it's their will that will ultimately get them through, addicts can be hard to sort out, some will go to extremes just to get the 'stuff'....

Just make dua :) Have hope:) and inshaAllah May Allah swt Guide your brothers, along with others who have taken this route, ameen
:w:
 
|)431)M1 said:
AsalamuAlaykum Warahmatullahi

Try and get your brothers books about death and the afterlife so that they are fully aware of consequences, the hell-fire and remembrance of the hell fire is the best deterrance from sins inshaAllah May Allah (swt) save us from the torments of the fire.
Click to expand...



Ameen!

:salamext:

wallahi my sister the advice given above me is indeed the best advice!


Sis do you know how the beautiful sahabi's gave up their old practises of burying daughters, indulging in intoxication, fornication etc? Sister it was surely the ayyat of the quran which talk about the akhirah! The realities of what tortures we will face in the confined grave, the severe heat of the hell fire of which was sent to this dunya after being watered down 70 times, the severity of the day of judgement!

Sis Aisha RA said that if the commandments of giving up evil came before the ayyat about the akhirah then the people would never have given up evil.

So sister, get them into islam, also try to find them a better group to be with.

Wallahi your caring for them could be the reason they come to the right path, so dont weaken believe in them inshaAllah

:wasalamex
 
Anonymous Tester said:
they won't listen to any dawah. its like they've lost so much ...:enough!: ...the only time they pray is EID..thats it sis. they used to go jummah, but thats gone too. they havnt forgotten their surrahs alhamdulliah, nor how to pray or anything about islam. :cry: ..but what your suggessting: they wnt read. cos they know what they r doing is wrong :cry:
Click to expand...

:salamext:

DO NOT let this be a deterrent from taking the advice above sis!

Wallahi if only you knew the practises of many faasiq (evil) people from before they turned to islam you wouldnt doubt the power of dawah!
 
|)431)M1 said:
Try and get your brothers books about death and the afterlife so that they are fully aware of consequences, the hell-fire and remembrance of the hell fire is the best deterrance from sins inshaAllah May Allah (swt) save us from the torments of the fire.
Click to expand...
i doubt it could impress any addict. They are sick. They can do almost anything and break all the rules to get what they need.
I found this for you:
DO Focus on your own reaction and attitudes.
DO Allow other people to accept their own responsibilities.
DO Manage your anxieties one day at a time.
DO Invest time reading helpful literature.
DO Learn to be open and honest.
DO Involve yourself in Families Anonymous.
DO Encourage all attempts to seek help.
DO Seek the good in others - and in yourself.

DON'T Accept guilt for another person's acts.
DON'T Nag, argue, lecture or recall past mistakes.
DON'T Overprotect, cover up, or rescue from the consequences. DON'T Neglect yourself or be a doormat
DON'T Yearn for perfection.
DON'T Manipulate or make idle threats.
DON'T Overlook the growth opportunities of a crisis.
DON'T Underestimate the importance of 'release with love'.
DON'T Sit at home feeling depressed
Click to expand...

it is taken for this site. They are trying to help people like you. You can contact them via mail, phone or find a meeting.

You are in my prayers


edit:
An Open Letter To My Family

I am a drug abuser. I need help.

Don't solve my problem for me. This only makes me lose respect for you and for myself.

Don't lecture, moralise, scold, blame, or argue whether I'm stoned or sober. It may make you feel better, but it makes the situation worse.

Don't accept my promises. The nature of my illness prevents my keeping them, even though I mean them at the time. Promises are only my way of postponing pain. And don't keep switching agreements; if an agreement is made, stick to it.

Don't lose your temper with me. It will destroy you and any possibility of helping me.

Don't let your anxiety for me make you do what I should do for myself.

Don't believe everything I tell you. Often I don't even know the truth - let alone tell it.

Don't cover up or try to spare me the consequences of my using. It may reduce the crisis, but it will make my illness worse.

Above all, don't run away from reality as I do. Drug dependence, my illness, gets worse as my using continues.

Start now to learn, to understand, to plan for recovery. Find Families Anonymous, a group which exists to help families in just your situation.

I need help - from a doctor, a psychologist, a counsellor, from some people in a self-help programme who've recovered from a drug problem themselves, and from a Power greater than myself.
Click to expand...
also from this site
 
Last edited:
some more links
about support for families
some more info on support for families of drug abusers
overall there are a lot of information there about addiction, recovery and help.

there is also well-known prayer used in AA, maybe it can bring some Peace to you.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.
 
IbnAbdulHakim said:
:salamext:

DO NOT let this be a deterrent from taking the advice above sis!

Wallahi if only you knew the practises of many faasiq (evil) people from before they turned to islam you wouldnt doubt the power of dawah!
Click to expand...

thank you for ur reply. u see if only u'd understand. no1 can approach them in that sense. they are asleep all day, they wake up at 10pm ish...then all night they are awak & out. if we try to approach them in their 'waking' times...they get ever so angry, start banging doors...shouting..it upsets my mother and we dnt want the whole neibours talking or getting disturbed.

i remember once, one of my brother wanted a £1 late @ night. our family is in financial breakdown.:cry: it was just me & mum at home. no1 had a penny in our purse that time (we dnt keep money @ home). he was doing the usual, shouting, demanding. then he went to the kitchen and was walking aboutwith the knife. i got my mum in my room, locked it, and called the police. they came and took him away, while they wer talking him away, he was saying 'stop them, i wasnt gona do anything mum! i never would' that made us feel more guilty, i no my brother do such thing, but that day was too far. my mother cried to the police, seeking help. telling them to keep him away.:cry:

i hate UK in that sense! they say the only way 2 keep them away, is not to let them in the house. becuse he hadnt done anything to us, and theres no damage either. so they cnt force charges. :cry: . we even tried to sort them out with homeless councils. but here in the UK there is no policy or help really for males. because homeless houses are given priority to children, elderly and females. therz nothing we can do :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
 

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