finding it very hard pleaseeeeeee helppppp

[AnonymousPoster]

assalaam o alaikum brothers and sisters i hope you can help me

i am a your sister in islam n i need help. i am raised into an islamic family where alhamdoolillaah my parents have given me the best of islamic knowledge.

ive got a problem. i used to listen to music but gave it up a year ago. i also used to love someone but forced myself to stop being in love with them n looking at them as i knew it was wrong and it wasnt going to happen. i was fine until now. i have the urge to listen to songs again like bollywood love songs. when i say songs i do not mean the actual music but i am attached to the lyrics of the song. also the person i was trying not to be in love with i have fallen in love with again. i do not want to commit sin at all by listening to songs n staring at the person-not in a lustful way but the other way-i think u understand?- i asked my mum if i could get married to that guy n she said no because he is younger than me.

about the guy-he is two years younger than me-he is my second cousin-but i do not think he loves me. i do not honestly know what i can do in such hard situation.

brothers n sisters please advize me i am relying on your help

please please please reply when you can

thank you very much

wasalam

 

[AnonymousPoster]

well he is my second cousin and we used to talk and be very close with each other n that is what lead me to liking him. i know it was wrong but please advize me what i should do brother or sister in islam!

 

[AnonymousPoster]

please brother or sister obviously i would be really devastated but can u please help n give me advize to my first post thankyou

 

[.:Umniyah:.]

ok so you are just close friends.

what would happen if he died, how would you feel?

umm I really dont think that question is appropriate. She asked for advice. If you cant help i really think its best you dont say anything at all.

And as for the sister:
I really think that as hard as it may seem, and of course its must easier for me type this than it is to be acted upon; but you really need to move on InshaAllah. If you see theres no future between you and him then you are only hurting yourself in the end. Im sure youre a nice girl and there are people who will love you back and share that same passion as you have.

Make dua that Alalh truly releases these feelings from your heart and aid you in moving on to something better InshaAllah.

May Allah make it easy on you ameen.

 

[AnonymousPoster]

So u started liking him again after reading some bollywood music lyrics.
:rollseyes

Does this brother know that you wanna marry him. cuz he might not be interested.

What help do u need from us, its really a minor issue. If your parents arent happy in you marrying him, than u cant disobey them. Inshallah you'll find someone else, to marry.

 

[AnonymousPoster]

no no no he used to live in bradford n he moved here n i see him more often thats why i started liking him

 

[noodles]

Jinio, I should mention that this is not how you 'help' someone.

Hi Anon, I know that its hard to fall for someone again and the fact that your mom is not giving you permission makes it ever harder for you. Perhaps you can consult your father and persuade him otherwise. If that still doesn't have an effect you may want to involve a 3rd party(muslim obviosly)

As for the music, stay away from it. I can tell you if you start once again, it will flood you with memories of when you and him used to talk together and they will only increase your desire for him. Instead, grab a translated version of the Qur'an and put on some exceptional recitations and follow them with the translations. It really brings tears to your eyes.

My advice seems very minimal compared to the advice many other people can give. However, there isn't much I can tell you.

 

[.:Umniyah:.]

okay it just seems really funny that both the anoymous accounts have the same amount of posts, rep, and same joined date.
hmm....

 

[anonymous]

well he is my second cousin and we used to talk and be very close with each other n that is what lead me to liking him. i know it was wrong but please advize me what i should do brother or sister in islam!

Yo wag1 dis ya 1 n only AsIaN_qUeEn

i dnt fink ya in luv wid d guy u jus FINK u r, i personally dnt believe u could BE IN LUV wid sum1 unless u WID da person

 

[anonymous]

no no no he used to live in bradford n he moved here n i see him more often thats why i started liking him

ahhh sissssssssssssssssss i gerrit now i know hu u r

i thought u wil hav got over the dude by now!!

sori i know that dint help

seriously tho, der is a possibility u can marry da guy, after al he is ya COUSIN! ANd u r PAKI after al! dats hw it works wiv us lol

 

[anonymous]

okay it just seems really funny that both the anoymous accounts have the same amount of posts, rep, and same joined date.
hmm....

i thought the anon account is jus ONE account, its da same 4 huever uses it :rollseyes: me 4 one Has NOT posted 890 annon posts i aint that sad man!

 

[AnonymousPoster]

salam brothers and sisters please do u have anymore advize it will be appreciated. please help your sister in islam....

 

[AnonymousPoster]

Sis there aint anything we can say that will help the situation your in, leave it to allah s.w.t..

 

[snakelegs]

i think that even though it may be difficult, you need to forget this guy. as you said, you don't even know if he loves you.
also, guys are generally a lot less mature for their age than girls the same age - and this guy is 2 years younger.
finish your studies - then you will be in a better position and have more options. if something is meant to happen with this guy at that time, maybe it will.
as for music - i would avoid the sentimental love much of bollywood. the love they sing about isn't real anyway. if you have to listen to music, listen to qawwali!
ok. now i will hide again. :hiding:

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

:salamext:

sis in all honesty i am not exactly sure how i can give you comfort... hmm.. lol well i cant giv it BUT:::

first thing is you sound like a strong muslimah, i mean your practising enough to give up music and let go of the dude who supposedly and i say SUPPOSEDLY coz for real he aint stolen nothing, Allah knows who u gnna marry n inshaAllah its gonna be much betta then this geezah lol, so let me just say ::

For their Lord's displeasure is the opposite of Peace and Tranquillity;-
Al-Maarij Verse 28

so we achknowledge illicit relations aint halal, we also achknowledge music aint halal, these bein haram obviously gonna earn the displeasure of our lord, most high exalted be he, so i say that lets go bout earning his pleasure instead. Think bout it, its just a time of fitnah right! right now your feeling weak, we all feel that now and then but thats the time of testing, time to get strong :shade:

And the likeness of those who spend their substance, seeking to please Allah and to strengthen their souls, is as a garden, high and fertile: heavy rain falls on it but makes it yield a double increase of harvest, and if it receives not Heavy rain, light moisture sufficeth it. Allah seeth well whatever ye do.
Surah Baqara Verse 265

see the beauty of pleasing Allah! forget that dude, forget music, forget this dunya!! coz in the akhirah we're gonna hav the pleasure of Allah thats what matters!





lastly, check this out

Above & Beyond
JANNAH

Muhammad Faqih
​

http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=-1815268494569989405&q=above+and+beyond+jannah

 

[anonymous]

thank you very much its is good advize may allah give you reward my brother

but i can tell you-this because i know-once you love someone its hard to let go just like that-love for one person stays in the heart as long as you live n sometimes a person is helpless like me n unfortunate they fall in love with someone who will not love back

 

[Snowflake]

ahhh sissssssssssssssssss i gerrit now i know hu u r

i thought u wil hav got over the dude by now!!

sori i know that dint help

seriously tho, der is a possibility u can marry da guy, after al he is ya COUSIN! ANd u r PAKI after al! dats hw it works wiv us lol

I see this happening all too often. A person posts something using the anonymous account and some super sleuth shouts, "I know who you are!" And often adds more juicy bits of information which reveals something that everyone can see and the anonymous person could find uncomfortable.

Simply, please avoid it and act like you don't know. At least infront of the other members. There is always the PM/e mail option if you have to say something.

 

[Khayal]

Why don't you tell everything to your mother, :rollseyes after all, all mothers are very close friends with their children....Alhamdulilah:statisfie

If she thinks it is GOOD for you n your future she will procede with it, IF not then she will guide you InshaAllah AND you must LISTEN her...:thumbs_up

Good luck...

 

[AnonymousPoster]

i have talked to m mother n she says i can not get marreed to him-she knows evreething about how i feel for my couzin

 

[sevgi]

there are way too many anon accounts in here im so confused.

sis, im sorri that noone has really given u proper advice in this thread. im sorri that u have to keep repeating the same things over and over because people cannot be bothered to read the pre-posts.

i do not knw how to help u. but i can support u and advise you in a few ways.

u have spoken to ur mum. she said no. take one more step and ask her to consult your father and let them consider it seriously, leaving out the age factor. ask them to see whether he is fit to be ur husband.

then, u may think of age difference. if he is not a good hubby, his age wont matter...if they think he is a good husband for u, then, think of in what ways his age will affect u and ur future together.this may also be a good time to bring in the guy and let ur father or whoever to speak to him about u and ur feelings. see if he is interested, if he will ever consider it....

if ur parents say no, then u must do tawakkul.leave it to Allah swt coz it is out of ur control.u have done ur bit.if ur parents say yes and the guy says no, once again, tawakkul...u cannot control his heart.

pray to Allah for he is the controller of hearts.ask for the hearts of ur parents and the guy to be filled with positivity and ask Allah to show u the right path, through the desicions and actions of ur parents. Pray to Allah for a guy who has the traits of this one.ur fate is written, but u can still chnge the habits of ur future husband through dua...

as for music...as a muslim, (and ive been verbally beaten abt this before,) i dnt believ that music is haram, as long as u keep ur guidelines. ifd the music is making u think of him...keep away...coz u do not know that he will be urs. he is not ur halal and that music is making u think of someone who is not ur halal.if the music makes u calm down, attribute the lyrics to Allah and how that guy u love reflects the wonderful attributes of Allah and how beautifully he has created him.

May Allah guide u sis anon. once you do tawakkul, u will realise that Allah is all wise and is drawing the most auspicious path for u.he is hand crafting just for u...for ur speacial needs, wants, desires......perfect for u inshallah. this is one of ur exams in life...try not to fail it.

love
sis sumeyye.