but they believe bin laden's jihad is right. and they have also accused me of rejecting jihad because i don't support al-qaida,.when i tell them about the killing women and children they just say"well the americans have killed our women and children so what?" and they say the shiekhs sugar coat jihad.
Two things, Bin Laden is a name, he is a person, he is human, do not focous on him. Break it down for them. Say, if any organisation is upon the Qur'an and Sunnah according to their Right understanding i.e. those of the companions and also listens to scholars then I will be all for such an organisation, noone would disagree with such a statement, because even if Iblees followed that then we would be for IT, may Allah curse him.
So break it down, get them out of this 'Bin Laden' mentality, so speak to them, they claim 'they killed our kids so let indescrimiatly kill' well ask them to bring forth the proof that such a foundation is found in the Shari'ah, that,
a haraam act becomes halal if the enemy does it first. This is what they are saying.
As for they speaking of the scholars, ask them to becareful when they speak about anyone, and in particular people who might have knowledge, and I would not advise debating over scholars.
they say that those claims are from the kuffar. so even if i do show them evidence they would not believe that and say "its the kaffirs making up these lies"
This is why I advise to not stick to labels, bin laden or al qaeda, but if they are open minded you can show them what scholars have said to bin laden or other such people.
I persoonally would't waste my time and energy in debating with such people. There are better and more benefical thigs we can do with our time. If someone wants to know the truth then Alhamdulilaah, present them with evidence how ever if they want to debate, whats that point? These sort of things cause divisin and hatred between the Muslims.
To an extent I agree, it depends on how much time is spend and so forth, but to the sister, I will say that Albani when debating a person was reminded:
A listener: To be frank my Sheikh, this discussion is going nowhere. If one does not make his intention and mind pure he will never understand.
To which he, may Allah have mercy on him, replied:
Al-Albaani: This is indeed a good advice. We live in an age where one of the fatal characters is spread, which is everyone liking his own opinion. Today everybody who reads a bit of Qur'aan or learns a bit of Ahkaam (rulings) and Ahaadeeths, he thinks he is something in 'ilm (knowledge) although he can not read the Ahaadeeths without errors, and then he wants to argue everything he sees ...
I.J.O Supporter: .. trying to interrupt ...
Al-Albaani: The time for discussion is over. I will take the advice of the brother.........
This is on Munatharah ma' tantheem al-jihad al-islami tapes I believe.