Family issue

AnonymousPoster

AnonymousPoster

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Asalamu alaikum,

I don't intend to complain in writing this, but I was wondering if someone could help me. I love my parents and siblings, but I know our family is far from ideal. There is constant tension in my household because no one really gets along, and I always feel stuck in the middle being a mediator. This has begun to really affect me, and sometimes I feel down. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone could offer any Islamic advice? I know Islam urges you to respect and love your family and I do, but sometimes, I cannot stand the constant tension in our household. I make du'a to Allah SWT for family peace, but is there anything else anyone can say?
 
Allahu akbar! i was trulyyyyyyy taken aback. Wallahi i thought i was writting that....i feel the same way, and unfortunatly have no solution myself imsad......i wont hijack your thread with my issues but i just had to write that because it was so surreal how i relate SO much.

May Allah give us both relief. And may he allow someone to benefit us with advice Ameen
 
Asalamu alaikum sister,

No please feel free to add on! I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one with this issue and insha Allah someone will provide us with the advice we need
 
well, this is (obviously) not islamic advice.
but i have a question. why do you feel that you have to be a mediator? does your family expect this of you? if so, you could always say "i don't understand what's going on either" and refuse to take sides.
sorry if this doesn't help.
 
I agree with snakelegs, I have a friend who has similar problems, but now he refuses to take up on anyones whining and complaining, he doesn't disrespect his parents either just doesn't take sides and refuses to intervene. Eventually they got the point. It took about 4 years though =(
 
:sl:

I think the person should takes the side of the justice if he/she knows what is going on.
 
snakelegs said:
well, this is (obviously) not islamic advice.
but i have a question. why do you feel that you have to be a mediator? does your family expect this of you? if so, you could always say "i don't understand what's going on either" and refuse to take sides.
sorry if this doesn't help.
Click to expand...

thanks for trying to help but i think this will cause the family to break down even more...


sister/brother first off i want you to know that what your doing is one of the greatest acts in islam , Alhamdulillah. Keeping the bonds of kinship alive is something so amazing!

hmm... a solution would be to question your siblings/family and find a reason to the constant tension and then slice that with a knife. inshaAllah if there is a form of addiction or common problem or even lack of understanding then talking about it will inshaAllah lead to a solution.

personally i have none of these problems... but whenever they come up for a bit i quickly solve it by being nice and reminding the people who feel the tension of the importance of making up and being close as a family. sis/bro why dont you try reminding them of their islam and tell them that this is not the way to go?

i hope this helps even slightly.. try remember Nuh Alaihissalaam who kept trying for 950 years to unite his ummah upon islam yet only had (a maximum of) 80 and i dont know what the minimum was... perhaps 8 followers?


also sis/bro try reform your intention into making it for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala purely if it isnt that already because then no matter how far you go and how much you try you wont get tired because you will know that your reward awaits in akhirah inshaAllah.

if all fails then you can try get an arbitrator to sort things out.. but thats when all other methods are exhausted inshaAllah.


i hope Allah unites your family into a compassionate islamic role model, Ameen !
 
vpb said:
:sl:

I think the person should takes the side of the justice if he/she knows what is going on.
Click to expand...

the thing is, the persons tired of doing this and feels exhausted and wishes things could just get better.

may Allah grant him/her sabr..
 
^^
it's trial from Allah swt, may Allah make it easier for her/him . Allah reward ppl who have sabr.
 
this might sound bizarre but all you got to do is tickle them, make them laugh... Like they say laughter is the best medicine :)

Spending and sharing fun times together ought to get rid of tension within the family... Hope it helps
 
Nerd said:
this might sound bizarre but all you got to do is tickle them, make them laugh... Like they say laughter is the best medicine :)

Spending and sharing fun times together ought to get rid of tension within the family... Hope it helps
Click to expand...

lol smiling is the best medecine :) :) <--- See!!! you kno u already feel better :) :)
 
Thank you for all the replies. I greatly appreciate it. As for the bro who asked about my intentions, they are for Allah but also for myself, because I want a united family. Please correct me if I'm wrong. And also, am I wrong to want to not take sides anymore because I have tired of the tension and do not see it ending in the future? Don't get me wrong, I love my family, it just doesn't seem that family peace is really possible. I'm sorry for asking so many questions. Although I am Muslim, there is still alot I do not know about Islam and want to learn more.
 

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