Some Troubles with Conversion

[rezafan]

Howdy,

If I'm allowed then I rather be abit more to the point than others. I was wondering, if I read right something about God's presence not being felt was what came up, may I ask what type of experience you are expecting?

Regards Eesa

I am not sure that I am expecting anything in particular. Thus far I have just had trouble seeing the influence of God upon my daily life, I am not sure if I need to even expect this, though. It seems to me I am not yet ready to bridge the gap between my current views and Islam, though I am definitely studying this religion because it fascinates me. Perhaps after reading the Qur'an and asking questions to better understand its message, something will change. I am unhappy with my current religious views (or lack thereof) because they offer little hope for me, but I don't see it right to adopt Islam if I don't fully understand its message.

 

[vorx]

finally when I was 65 years old Islam found me and I learned that Allah(swt) is truly real.

A personal question for you. I wish you aren't in denial but, when you made the decision that God is truly real because you know your life span is soon to end and you had to make a decision before you die?

It might be a horrible thing to say to some people but as far as i am concerned we all die at a certain point or an other.

peace

 

[Woodrow]

A personal question for you. I wish you aren't in denial but, when you made the decision that God is truly real because you know your life span is soon to end and you had to make a decision before you die?

It might be a horrible thing to say to some people but as far as i am concerned we all die at a certain point or an other.

peace

That is a fair enough question. However, I have long outlived my life expectancy. The closest I was to death was when I was 23 years old. That was a very touch and go year. I won't go into details over that.

When I reverted I had absolutely no desire to revert and was pretty well content with my life. This was not a conscious effort on my part. In fact if you had asked me the day before I reverted I would have told you there would be no way I would ever become a Muslim.

Yes when I reached 65 I was/am very much aware of how fragile life is and that virtually all of my life has been used up. I have no problem with that. The physical aspects of death are of no concern to me. I view death as being a natural process of life and it is no more nor any less than birth. Paradoxically in the national culture I grew up in I was raised to mourn birth and rejoice at death.

Islam, truly found me I was not searching for Allah(swt) it is only through the mercy of Allah(swt) that my eyes were opened.

 

[Andrew]

That sounds very interesting, do you mind sharing with us what it was that made you revert? If I am being too rude by asking please forgive me.

 

[Woodrow]

That sounds very interesting, do you mind sharing with us what it was that made you revert? If I am being too rude by asking please forgive me.

No you are not being rude and I am very happy to share.

The story of my reverting is posted here.

http://www.islamicboard.com/323571-post125.html

It was really quite an experience for me. I was simply reading the Qur'an from a scholastic view. I'm a person who is intrigued by languages and their development. The Semitic languages are my favorite. The Qur'an is especially interesting from a literary view as it is the only Book written in that particular form of Arabic and in really a very fascinating study as to the use of language.

The only thing I can compare it to would be to ask a person to write a song to the tune of the "Mozart's Fifth" yet have it carry very explicit, clear instructions on how to live. What makes it very unusual is that while Arabic has different dialects and often the speaker of one dialect can not understand the speaker of another, everybody who can read Arabic can comprehend the Qur'an with ease.

Now to get back, that day when I was reading it, a very strange warmth and feeling of peace came over me. I could not stop reading. It was beyond just reading words it was like a visual presentation of the Qur'an was unfolding. I no longer saw it as literature, I felt it as a way of life and knew it was truly the word of Allah(swt). It no longer was a book, it was Islam.

 

[Andrew]

wow that is a great story Woodrow, thank you for sharing it with me

 

[glo]

I am a newcomer, and I mainly approach you because I've been fascinated by Islam, but something about conversion is troubling me. It's a bit hard to describe, but I just don't "feel" anything (anything being God's presence in my life). I don't like atheism because it seems hopeless to me. I think agnosticism is being indecisive, and I've recently been a Deist in that I believe some god set things in motion but does not really take part in the daily life of any human. I am not sure how to cross this bridge, because I cannot just ignore my gut feelings. However, Islam really appeals to me (I hope I am not contradicting myself). I feel...lost. Can someone please offer me words of wisdom, if they too have been in a similar situation? Or, maybe someone you know has been in a similar situation? Thank you all.

Greetings, rezafan

I am not a Muslim, but I have read this thread with interest.

With regards to you noticing a 'lack of God's presence' in your life, this sentence struck me as important (It's from the link Woodrow provided to his reversion story):

For some reason, it looked different. I was not looking at it as a scholar, I was FEELING it, I do not know how long or how many times I read it in the next day or two.

I am not sure if everybody else will share my (and seemingly Woodrow's) view, but I do believe strongly that we can actually have a real sense of God's presence in our lives!
Different people experience it to a greater or lesser degree, and in different ways - but it is there ...

A religion without that connection would - in my mind - be dead and meaningless ...

Do not worry if you cannot feel God in your life at the moment.

I believe that if you seek him in quiet times, through reading and in contemplation, he will reveal himself to you.

And when he does, it will be like your eyes are opened for the first time, as if you see and read and hear and feel everything for the very first time!

Peace ... and enjoy your journey. Be expectant!

 

[MaiCarInMtl]

Rezafan,

I think I am going through something very similar to you. I believe in God, but I'm not so sure he always plays an active part in daily life.

I find the religion I was born into leaves a lot of questions unanswered and I have various issues with it (it can be hard to explain).

I'm very interested and intrigued by Islam, but I just want to make sure that this is what is right for me before I convert/revert as my relationship with god is very important and I wouldn't want to rush into something. At times I get very excited about the religion but I tell myself to slow down and to read more (I have started reading an English translation of the Qur'an). Sometimes I feel it is hard to take my time because I do get excited, but also because some people are pushing me a bit too much (the husband of a muslim acquaintance calls me his "sister" even though I have not said the Shahada). I wouldn't give it too much thought, but he's a bit pushy on other things so this kind of behaviour actually scares me a way a bit.

Either way, I believe God will let me know when the time is right. In the meantime, I'll keep talking to people, asking questions and reading.

Best of luck with your search!

 

[Dawud_uk]

I am a newcomer, and I mainly approach you because I've been fascinated by Islam, but something about conversion is troubling me. It's a bit hard to describe, but I just don't "feel" anything (anything being God's presence in my life). I don't like atheism because it seems hopeless to me. I think agnosticism is being indecisive, and I've recently been a Deist in that I believe some god set things in motion but does not really take part in the daily life of any human. I am not sure how to cross this bridge, because I cannot just ignore my gut feelings. However, Islam really appeals to me (I hope I am not contradicting myself). I feel...lost. Can someone please offer me words of wisdom, if they too have been in a similar situation? Or, maybe someone you know has been in a similar situation? Thank you all.

peace be upon those who follow righteous guidence,

i can simpathise with you, i started off atheist, then become a believer in a creator but i couldnt believe the bible was true given its corruptions and errors.

i went around looking at different faiths and philosophies looking for what God would want me to do, eventually i looked into islam and i found it to be the perfect faith,

after that it become easy to follow the religion that God had obviously to me designed for mankind, true guidence showing mankind how he was supposed to live if he wanted to please God.

anyway, may Allah guide you on your journey and i hope you find everyone here helpful and feel free to ask me any questions as someone who was once in the same position you are in now.

Abu Abdullah

 

[ummzayd]

Now to get back, that day when I was reading it, a very strange warmth and feeling of peace came over me. I could not stop reading. It was beyond just reading words it was like a visual presentation of the Qur'an was unfolding. I no longer saw it as literature, I felt it as a way of life and knew it was truly the word of Allah(swt). It no longer was a book, it was Islam.

something similar happened to me. I had already accepted the logic and truth of Qur'an and Islamic teachings and attempted to pray but I don't feel Islam really entered my heart until reading the qur'an one day (as I had been doing every day) and suddenly it came alive - subhanAllah as you say, such a feeling of peace and warmth and happiness came over me, and I learned so much more from that reading than I had ever learned before. alhamdulillah it is still the case. I had actually bought a qur'an 10 years before I became Muslim but did not get anything at all from it. I think the fact that I was sceptical and actually a bit hostile to Islam had a lot to do with the reasons why its wisdom and beauty and truth were totally padlocked against me!

well brother it took you a long time to become Muslim but masha'Allah it seems to me you have come a long way in 2 years. All thanks and praise to Allah for guiding us to the beauty and truth of Islam and may he continue to guide and bless us all and keep us on the straight path ameen.

I also wanted to say to the original poster to just keep on praying to God and asking Him to guide you, if you sincerely desire to have that close connection to God then of a certainty He will give you what you ask for. There is a beautiful saying from God, that if we come towards him by the distance of a hand's span, he comes towards us as much as an arm's length, and if we go to him walking, he comes to us running. It never fails to bring tears to my eyes as it beautifully illustrates the love and mercy that God has for us. May God bless you and guide you, at whatever pace is best for you.

 

[YusufNoor]

I am not sure that I am expecting anything in particular. Thus far I have just had trouble seeing the influence of God upon my daily life, I am not sure if I need to even expect this, though. It seems to me I am not yet ready to bridge the gap between my current views and Islam, though I am definitely studying this religion because it fascinates me. Perhaps after reading the Qur'an and asking questions to better understand its message, something will change. I am unhappy with my current religious views (or lack thereof) because they offer little hope for me, but I don't see it right to adopt Islam if I don't fully understand its message.

Peace be upon those who follow guidance,

Greetings rezafan,

i'm a revert of 16 months, Asad's translation is my favorite English translation and i found his notes so interesting that i would jump forward and back when other notes were referenced. it's NOT the be all end all translation, however and some of his views differ from the mainstream but he DOES explain himself rather nicely.

i would recommend some Seerah (life of the Prophet[pbuh]), in conjunction with reading the Qur'an. if brother Qatada doesn't hook you up with a link, then Insha' Allah, i will post a link to a really good audio Seerah study group. the Qur'an makes much more sense and has a greater impact when one sees some of the how, when and why of revelation. (you will also see why someone suggested that you begin in the end as those are mostly Makkan Surah's and they deal with what Islamic beliefs are as opposed to Medinian Surah's which can deal with Sharia law since the tiny Muslim nation started there)

there may also be some good video links posted in the media section or perhaps brother Fi_Sibilillah, OOOOPS :giggling: , Qatada can paste a link or 2 to a good Khalid Yasin video.

keep in mind that Islam IS a way of life that DOES reflect reason. you might not "feel anything" however. you may need to SUBMIT to the laws and in due time "that feeling" or Hidayah (guidance) may be right around the corner.

i would suggest studying the Messenger of Allah's(pbuh) life as much as the Qur'an. they go together and are really inseperable as we follow his(pbuh) Sunnah (example) as well as the Qur'an.

as others stated, May Allah(swt) guide you on your journey.



Yusuf