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girlinthecorner

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i joined this forum five minutes ago for one purpose: to ask for help on this subject. i wanted to post something on my own blog but i doubted anyone would be able to help.

i'm a muslim girl, 14 years old. im from an arab country and lived in an arab country my whole life. in august of last year, my family [who are strict musilms] convinced me to wear hijab. they sugar coated it ofcourse, and baisically in the end i told them i would try it. after having it on for about 2 weeks, i decided that i disliked it and wasnt ready for it, but they broke their promise. they told me that i couldn't take it off because it would make the family look bad. this was when i plunged into a three month spell of depression. i would cry at random moments and completely lost the will to live. i hated myself and especially islam. i would not look in the mirror because i didnt want to see my ugly reflection. everytime i was about to go out, when i had to put on my sheila i lost the excitment and decided that i didnt want to go out anymore. i was crabby and always snapped at my friends. my parents didnt care about my feelings, no matter how much i tried to explain how painful it was for me. my older sister and my friends all saw the change in my attitude and were very concerned. in the end my sister convinced my mother to free me from hijab.

after i took it off i transformed into a completely different person. i was confident, charismatic, always comfortable and very chatty. i was much happier than before. but ever since then i have become less and less religious. a few months after i took it off, i had my first kiss. a few months after that, i tasted alcohol, and after that i even tried nicotine. this was very unlike me since i was brought up in a strict religious family.

but it was only unlike me to do these things in practice. i had contemplated them a hundred times before. ever since i was about 12, i have doubted the exsistence of a god. i wondered if, when we do commit a "sin", we feel guilty because we were brought up to feel guilty. this was the reason hijab was forced upon me, because they felt that i was getting out of hand.

i have come to the point were i only pretend to pray 5 times a day, were i lie to both my parents about everything because i know they wont understand. i truly do hate islam, and i'm so confused, but becuse islam is a closed-minded religion, i cant talk to anyone about my doubts. if i bring it up, even to my closest friends, they think im being sacreligious, and sometimes blame it on pop culture [which i dont follow, i see everyone and everything in pop culture as being fake and stupid]. i dont want to follow islam anymore, for i truly cant believe in it even when i try my hardest. but according to islam, all ex muslims must be killed. if someone cant believe, then there's obviously something wrong with the person or the religion. is the answer really to beat them to death? islam is politically incorrect, this has been proven, and just a few nights ago i was thinking to myself... if god is so perfect and cant make mistakes, why did he first suggest 50 prayers a day only to be corrected by the prophet, who is a mere man? i'm so confused and i really dont know what to do or believe anymore.

generally when someone breaks the rules, they feel a thrill of excitment. but when i break an islamic rule, i just feel free. when i was mohajaba, we went to england for a short while. i would wear my hijab and go out for long walks in the suburbs. as soon as i was far away from our own street, i would take it off and i would feel so free. there were no people out there, they were all empty streets with houses, so it cant even be said that i liked people looking at me. it just felt great to let my hair down and not be ugly for a few minutes in my life.

i dont like hearing things that say that islam condemns people, but i really do feel condemned. i have so much to say but i cant put it all in words, infact i probably sound like a whining child who wants her way. my question is: do i need islam to be taught to me over again? is it true? is there a god out there? í'm so confused.
 
i think this should really be addressed by a muslim.
no, you don't sound like a whining child, but a person who is in a spiritual crisis who feels very much alone.
 
Im sorry that you feel this way. Inshallah Allah will help you gain knowledge and put you back on the right path.

It seems to me that you have a tainted view of Islam. Have you read the Quran by any chance (read with understanding not just reciting it)?
 
OOOhhhh this happened to me after my first year that I converted. I had doubts about God and how he could let bad things happen etc. In your situation, well....... let me put it to you like this. You said you feel free when you dont practice Islam. if you truly feel this way, then YES!!!! you are not a muslim. You are at a young age when things start to get clearer to you. The world, politics, religion, EVERYTHING!!!!!! you question authority and why bad things happen to good people. However you are questioning things that have already been answered a hundred times over. Allah loves those who love him. You are part of his creation whether you like it or not. what I would do is keep asking and asking and asking until you are trully satisfied that you dont believe anymore. Ask those how have knowledge in Islam and Quran. Grill them hard, until they either dont know or get angery with you. Then go to someone else. Stand up for your views and yell if you have to. Most imporatntly, dont give up, get as many answers as possible. only then will you see which path to take. The path of Islam or the path of a non believer. This may take many years. Whatever you chose be safe and never back down.
 
I agree with what belief_is_power said, but it seems to me you are describing yout culture more than the religeon-which has sadly been changed to fit culture- you probably do need to learn for yourself what islam is.
 
To the original poster:
You're 14 years old which would explain your rebellious actions and your inability to comprehend Islam, truly - hence you ''hate it''. You'll come to your senses if you become truly honest with yourself. I can offer proof of Islam being the greatest religion on Earth, but if you insist on denying it then you have only your self to blame - not Islam.
Sure, that is pretty harsh, but since you expressed a disliking for sugarcoating, I see it as the only way of getting through to you. Now this advice could have 3 possible effects on you:
1) You take it, and change for the better - living a happier life.
2) You don't take it and stay as you are: depressed and bitter
3) You use it to further propogate your own misunderstanding and hatred leading to the worst case scenario where you take your own life.

Wake up and smell the coffee.
 
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People shouldn't be forced into religion. That's why you felt free when disobeying the rules of Islam - because the rules were forced upon you, by the sounds of it, or at least you seem to have perceived it that way. Forcing someone to adhere to a religion is just as wrong as forbidding them from practicing a religion.
 
forcing was wrong, but you were also sinful for feeling bad about wearing hijaab. But i dont blame you so much because we all need knowledge before implementation. Perhaps it wasnt explained properly to you?! you see we wear the hijaab to prevent men lusting at the women, i wouldnt like a sick perverted freak perving on my sisters or my wife. Also its to maintain hayaa' as islaam teaches prevention before cure. Its also for modesty. IT IS NOT TO SHOW OTHER PEOPLE AND MAKE UR FAMILY LOOK BETTER in fact doing it to show other people is a HUGE sin which comes under riyaa' (MINOR SHIRK), rather we do it for the sake of Allah subhana wa ta'ala.


As for apostacy, you make a promise to Allaah subhana wa ta'ala and break it then what do you expect?! Do the american soldiers not get executed for treason?! (expected a more lengthy answer? naa its this simple, also its because Allaah commanded it, and he is haq)


and also the penalty can only be carried out in a shariah court of law with valid reasons and an attempt to guide the person in question back to islaam.





May Allaah guide you, i hate having men look at my sisters, and you are my sister in islaam and i hate to have people perv at you.


i wish you held yourself in higher value....

Assalamu Alaikum
 
Assalamo alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu to those who follow the Straight Path:

I would like to address myself not only to girlinthecorner (who I think just came to this forum to make one single post and will probably never post again on this forum) but also to many, many Muslims who think just like her but are really too afraid for various reasons to express their concerns:

First the issue of Allah changing His mind. Know that Allah does not change His mind, He is not prone to any error whatsoever. Yes it is true that Allah first commanded Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alaihi wa salaam) and the Muslims to pray fifty times. Remember the context of this commandment. It was during the Miraj, the ascension of the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa salaam) into the Heavens. Allah knows all things, and knew eventually that He will only command praying five times a day. So why did Allah initially command fifty times prayers? The reason is to illustrate the importance of prayer, and the need for human beings to offer salaat for their own benefit. When Moses heard of this, he told Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alaihi wa salaam) to keep going back to Allah and plead that the number of prayers be reduced. So the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa salaam) kept doing this until the number of prayers was reduced to five, and than when Moses (alaihi salaam) said that even this is too burdensome and many Muslims will not be able to handle it, by this time the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa salaam) was to embarrassed to go back to Allah and request the number be reduces. There is really a lot of wisdom in this story, but to interpret it to mean Allah changes His mind and makes mistakes is wrong. Allah is All Knowing and He took into account everything that will happen and He knew from beginning Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa salaam) will come back to Him and request number of prayers be reduced, but when it is reduced to 5 he will feel too embarrassed to come back again. So in this way we see how Allah knows what is in the heart of Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alaihi wa salaam) and manipulated events to reveal His original intention - that man must pray five times a day obligatory.

So to those people who think like girlinthecorner and keep telling themselves, why would God want me to do this and that? Why do I have to do something or wear something I dont want to? Why can't I be free? Why do I have to follow a religion that restricts what I do?

These are the type of questions many people ask. The type of questions you ask is often indicative of the level of iman (faith) you have. Allah says in the Quran:

Fighting is prescribed for you, and ye dislike it. But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth, and ye know not.
(Al Baqarah 2:216)​

Allah has commanded us to do many things, and we are to submit without question. It may be we dislike in our hearts what Allah is commanding us to do, but we must never let the Shaytan (Devil) tempt us to follow our desires above what Allah has commanded. This is why Allah says

wa Allahu ya'alamu wa antum la ta'alamoon

"And Allah knows while you know not"

We do not know what is best for us, because we are defficient in knowledge, we are like children who are always wanting ice cream because it tastes good and we desire it, and we resent our parents who dont let us have it because they say it is bad for us. If you can understand this simple concept you can understand the wisdom of submitting to Allah alone, Who is Perfect and All Knowing and wants the best for us always. It is therefore a sign of true faith in Allah that we obey Him without question. This is why Allah cites the example of Prophet Abraham (Alaihi salaam) in the Quran, when Allah commanded Him to sacrifice his own son, and because he had perfect faith and trust in Allah he did not hesitate or doubt or have any second thoughts. We must all strive to achieve this level of faith and purify our hearts. When we undertake this striving than we will appreciate Allah more and see the wisdom and beauty of Islam.
 
she is a muslim who has chosen to post this on an islamic forum. don't you think muslims should be the ones to respond to her?
 
zoro she wants answers from an Islamic perspective, and that was given to her. If you want to debate, take it to a different thread- this thread is to help the girl.
 
if god is so perfect and cant make mistakes, why did he first suggest 50 prayers a day only to be corrected by the prophet, who is a mere man?
Click to expand...

Who says it was a mistake by God? Allahknew the Prophet would come with those pleads, God is the all-Knowing and nothing is hidden from Him, He knows the future, the past, the present. He did it only to show us a merciful act. You can't even make it to pray 5 times a day - If God would have chosen 50 prayers a day, you'd be crying in a corner and Shaytaan would have it much easier to take you down the wrong path.
 
:sl:

Weather or not girlinthecorner posts again, I hope she reads the replies that Muslims have written out of their love for their Sister in her time of need.

I'm not a scholar or of those who is most knowledgable in the ways of Islam, I am just a slave of Allah (SWT), But I would like to say to girlinthecorner that patience, perseverance and seeking help from honest Muslims will provide her with the answers she seeks.
Our teenage years are the hardest I know of and as you grow stronger in mind and heart, things will become clearer to you, like reasons for peoples actions and reasons behind parental guidance.
May Allah (SWT) help you through these hard times. Peace and blessings be upon you.
 
assalam walaikum. i do hope that you gotta post again, im a teen too, and i've done lot of things which im not really proud of, things which are much worse than those u've describe. it happened to me, to have that feeling of disbelieve, but i observed Allah's creation, its so perfect.
i know some will say that im wrong, but if you don't wanna wear the hijaab you don't have to, but i do believe that wearing hijaab makes a gal look much more beautiful
 
As Salaam Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu

The literal meaning of Islam is peace; surrender of one’s will i.e. losing oneself for the sake of Allah and surrendering one’s own pleasure for the pleasure of Allah. The message of Islam was revealed to the Holy Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) 1, 400 years ago. It was revealed through angel Gabriel (on whom be peace) and was thus preserved in the Holy Quran. The Holy Quran carries a Divine guarantee of safeguard from interpolation and it claims that it combines the best features of the earlier scriptures.

The Holy Quran tells us that Allah has given human beings a choice between good and evil and to seek Allah's pleasure through faith, prayer and charity. Islam believes that Allah created mankind in His image and by imbuing the attributes of Allah on a human level mankind can attain His nearness. Islam’s main message is to worship Allah and to treat all Allah’s creation with kindness and compassion. Rights of parents in old age, orphans and the needy are clearly stated. Women’s rights were safeguarded 1,400 years ago when the rest of the world was in total darkness about emancipation. Islamic teachings encompass every imaginable situation and its rules and principles are truly universal and have stood the test of time.

In Islam virtue does not connote forsaking the bounties of nature that are lawful. On the contrary one is encouraged to lead a healthy, active life with the qualities of kindness, chastity, honesty, mercy, courage patience and politeness. In short, Islam has a perfect and complete code for the guidance of individuals and communities alike. As the entire message of Islam is derived from the Holy Quran and indeed the Sunnah and Hadith (the traditions and practices of the Holy Prophet, peace and blessings on him) it is immutable in the face of change in time and place. It may appear rigid to the casual eye, in actual fact it is most certainly an adaptable way of life regardless of human changes.

Islam teaches that the path to spiritual development is open to all. Any individual who searches the One Creator can seek nearness to Allah through sincere and earnest worship; it is central to establishing a relationship with the Almighty. This positive message for humanity fills hearts with hope and courage.

At present there are 1.5 billion Muslims worldwide and they form the majority in more than 50 countries of the world. Today Islam is the fastest growing faith in the world - its beautiful message is reaching millions in the far corner of the earth.
 
girlinthecorner said:
i joined this forum five minutes ago for one purpose: to ask for help on this subject. i wanted to post something on my own blog but i doubted anyone would be able to help.

i'm a muslim girl, 14 years old. im from an arab country and lived in an arab country my whole life. in august of last year, my family [who are strict musilms] convinced me to wear hijab. they sugar coated it ofcourse, and baisically in the end i told them i would try it. after having it on for about 2 weeks, i decided that i disliked it and wasnt ready for it, but they broke their promise. they told me that i couldn't take it off because it would make the family look bad. this was when i plunged into a three month spell of depression. i would cry at random moments and completely lost the will to live. i hated myself and especially islam. i would not look in the mirror because i didnt want to see my ugly reflection. everytime i was about to go out, when i had to put on my sheila i lost the excitment and decided that i didnt want to go out anymore. i was crabby and always snapped at my friends. my parents didnt care about my feelings, no matter how much i tried to explain how painful it was for me. my older sister and my friends all saw the change in my attitude and were very concerned. in the end my sister convinced my mother to free me from hijab.

after i took it off i transformed into a completely different person. i was confident, charismatic, always comfortable and very chatty. i was much happier than before. but ever since then i have become less and less religious. a few months after i took it off, i had my first kiss. a few months after that, i tasted alcohol, and after that i even tried nicotine. this was very unlike me since i was brought up in a strict religious family.

but it was only unlike me to do these things in practice. i had contemplated them a hundred times before. ever since i was about 12, i have doubted the exsistence of a god. i wondered if, when we do commit a "sin", we feel guilty because we were brought up to feel guilty. this was the reason hijab was forced upon me, because they felt that i was getting out of hand.

i have come to the point were i only pretend to pray 5 times a day, were i lie to both my parents about everything because i know they wont understand. i truly do hate islam, and i'm so confused, but becuse islam is a closed-minded religion, i cant talk to anyone about my doubts. if i bring it up, even to my closest friends, they think im being sacreligious, and sometimes blame it on pop culture [which i dont follow, i see everyone and everything in pop culture as being fake and stupid]. i dont want to follow islam anymore, for i truly cant believe in it even when i try my hardest. but according to islam, all ex muslims must be killed. if someone cant believe, then there's obviously something wrong with the person or the religion. is the answer really to beat them to death? islam is politically incorrect, this has been proven, and just a few nights ago i was thinking to myself... if god is so perfect and cant make mistakes, why did he first suggest 50 prayers a day only to be corrected by the prophet, who is a mere man? i'm so confused and i really dont know what to do or believe anymore.

generally when someone breaks the rules, they feel a thrill of excitment. but when i break an islamic rule, i just feel free. when i was mohajaba, we went to england for a short while. i would wear my hijab and go out for long walks in the suburbs. as soon as i was far away from our own street, i would take it off and i would feel so free. there were no people out there, they were all empty streets with houses, so it cant even be said that i liked people looking at me. it just felt great to let my hair down and not be ugly for a few minutes in my life.

i dont like hearing things that say that islam condemns people, but i really do feel condemned. i have so much to say but i cant put it all in words, infact i probably sound like a whining child who wants her way. my question is: do i need islam to be taught to me over again? is it true? is there a god out there? í'm so confused.
Click to expand...

If your leaving with islam because you say the hijab was forced on you then have you ever asked your self what the purpose of the hijab is? Allah says;

“And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent , and to draw their veils all over Juyoobihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islam), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of feminine sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you ask Allaah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful”

[al-Noor 24:31]

  • An act of obedience
The hijab is an act of obedience to Allah and to his prophet (pbuh), Allah says in the Qur'an: `It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allah and His messenger have decreed a matter that they should have an option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger, has indeed strayed in a plain error.' (S33:36).
Allah also said: 'And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc) and not to show off their adornment except what must (ordinarily) appear thereof, that they should draw their veils over their Juyubihinna.'(S24:31).
Juyubihinna: The respected scholars from As-Salaf As-Saleh (righteous predecessors) differed whether the veil cover of the body must include the hands and face or not. Today, respected scholars say that the hands and face must be covered. Other respected scholars say it is preferable for women to cover their whole bodies.
  • The Hijab is IFFAH (Modesty)
Allah (subhana wa'atala) made the adherence to the hijab a manifestation for chastity and modesty. Allah says: 'O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) over their bodies (when outdoors). That is most convenient that they should be known and not molested.' (S33:59). In the above Ayaah there is an evidence that the recognition of the apparent beauty of the woman is harmful to her. When the cause of attraction ends, the restriction is removed. This is illustrated in the case of elderly women who may have lost every aspect of attraction. Allah (subhana wa'atala) made it permissible for them to lay aside their outer garments and expose their faces and hands reminding, however, that is still better for them to keep their modesty.
  • The hijab is Tahara (Purity)
Allah (subhana wa'atala) had shown us the hikma (wisdom) behind the legislation of the hijab: `And when you ask them (the Prophet's wives) for anything you want, ask them from behind a screen, that is purer for your hearts and their hearts.' (S33:53).
The hijab makes for greater purity for the hearts of believing men and women because it screens against the desire of the heart. Without the hijab, the heart may or may not desire. That is why the heart is more pure when the sight is blocked (by hijab) and thus the prevention of fitna (evil actions is very much manifested. The hijab cuts off the ill thoughts and the greed of the sick hearts: `Be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy or evil desire for adultery, etc) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner.' (S33:32)
  • The hijab is a Shield
The prophet (pbuh) said: "Allah, Most High, is Heaven, is Ha'yeii (Bashful), Sit'teer (Shielder). He loves Haya' (Bashfulness) and Sitr (Shielding; Covering)." The Prophet (pbuh) also said: "Any woman who takes off her clothes in other than her husband's house (to show off for unlawful purposes), has broken Allah's shield upon her. "The hadith demonstrates that depending upon the kind of action committed there will be either reward (if good) or punishment (if bad).
  • The hijab is Taqwah (Righteousness)
Allah (subhana wa'atala) says in the Qur'an: `O children of Adam! We have bestowed raiment upon you to cover yourselves (screen your private parts, etc) and as an adornment. But the raiment of righteousness, that is better.'(S7:26). The widespread forms of dresses in the world today are mostly for show off and hardly taken as a cover and shield of the woman's body. To the believing women, however the purpose is to safeguard their bodies and cover their private parts as a manifestation of the order of Allah. It is an act of Taqwah (righteousness).
  • The hijab is Eemaan (Belief or Faith)
Allah (subhana wa'atala) did not address His words about the hijab except to the believing women, Al-Mo'minat. In many cases in the Qur'an Allah refers to the "the believing women". Aisha (RA), the wife of the prophet (pbuh), addressed some women from the tribe of Banu Tameem who came to visit her and had light clothes on them, they were improperly dressed: "If indeed you are believing women, then truly this is not the dress of the believing women, and if you are not believing women, then enjoy it."
  • The hijab is Haya' (Shyness)
There are two authentic hadith which state: "Each religion has a morality and the morality of Islam is haya'" AND "Shynessis from belief, and belief is in Al-Jannah (paradise)". The hijab fits the natural shyness which is a part of the nature of women.
  • The hijab is Gheerah
The hijab fits the natural feeling of Gheerah, which is intrinsic in the straight man who does not like people to look at his wife or daughters. Gheerah is a driving emotion that drives the straight man to safeguard women who are related to him from strangers. The straight MUSLIM man has Gheerah for ALL MUSLIM women In response to lust and desire, men look (with desire) at other women while they do not mind that other men do the same to their wives or daughters. The mixing of sexes and absence of hijab destroys the Gheera in men. Islam considers Gheerah an integral part of faith. The dignity of the wife or daughter or any other Muslim woman must be highly respected and defended
 
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when the prophet (saw) went for isra' al-miraj (the night journey) and he spoke to Allah, and Allah told Muhammad (saw) that He has enjoined on him and his followers 50 daily prayers. and when the prayers were reduced to 5 daily prayers He (Allah) wasn't corrected by the prophet (saw) but rather the prophet (saw) asked Allah to make it easier on the ummah as it may become a hardship for them. so the prayer was reduced from 50 to 5. this was not muhammad (saw) correcting Allah, but rather it was Muhammad (saw) asking Allah to make it easier on them by making it 5 daily prayers.

this is because when the prophet was told that there will be 50 prayers, first of all, he had accept it and he began to decend from the heavens. but as he was decending from the heavens he met with moses and since moses had delt with the most difficult nation (the children of israel) he knew from experience that this will become a burden for the muslims. so moses told muhammad (saw) to go back to ask Allah to reduce the number of prayers. so the Muhammad (saw) went back and asked Allah to reduce the number of prayers and Allah accepted and reduced it to 40 prayers. so he again started decended until he spoke to moses again, but moses said go back and ask Allah again to reduce them some more, it was then it was made to 30 prayers....and this continued until Allah had reduced the prayer to 5 times daily.

but moses was still unsatisfied and told muhammad (saw) to go back and ask Allah to reduce them more, but the prophet said he is embaressed to go back and ask Allah to reduce them even more. so it was fixed at 5 prayers per day.

this story can be found in the seerah (biography) of Muhammad (saw).

Allah was not corrected, but His prophet asked him to reduce them of the burden. again, it was not correcting Allah rather it was a request to make it easier on the people.

and there is an added blessing to this, when you prayer one prayer you get the reward of 10 prayers. so when you pray all 5 prayers you get the reward of 50 prayers. this is blessing and generosity of Allah.

do not choose the life of this world over the next. this world is only a brief and temporary enjoyment as Allah say;

Every soul shall have a taste of death: And only on the Day of Judgment shall you be paid your full recompense. Only he who is saved far from the Fire and admitted to the Garden will have attained the object (of Life): For the life of this world is but goods and chattels of deception.
[Surah Al-Imraan 3:185]
 
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