How can one avoid getting angry quickly?

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do you get angry quickly ?

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One good solution to anger is to live to be too old to get angry.

But, if you can't do that you can try a few things.

1. Only get angry at people you know will beat the daylights out of you

2. Rip up all the money in your wallet whenever you get angry

3. Bite a brick when you get angry

4. Kick a 700 pound gorilla


I assure you if you do anyone of those things every time you get angry, you will soon stop getting angry.


Or you can do the simple and more beneficial thing. Make du'a and sincerly repent for allowing your self to ever becoming unrighteously angered.
 
I am not a person that gets angry easily. If someone is doing something that bothers me however I am not very good at telling them straight out to stop in the fear that i'll hurt their feelings or i'll ruin our relationship etc. Instead, I start dropping hints. This has been a problem though, ive found that some people don't pick up on the hints and they continue to do the same things that annoy me which eventually causes me to get angry with them.

For instance, the other day my aunt was going through my things in my bedroom, not with the intention of snooping but to clean up etc. but I felt it to be an invasion of my privacy. In the past, I have had conversations with her and I had dropped hints or spoken of how I did not like people going through my stuff or prying into my business etc. So, I figured she was fully aware of the fact that I'm a private person and I am not comfortable with people doing that..
Also, when she was in my room I told her 3 times nicely to not do that and that i'd clean it up myself but the minuite I went to the bathroom she was back into my stuff again..
That's when I got angry and I said to her that ..it's not fair I told you 3 times that I didn't need your help..I don't go through your things why are you going through my things...
and then she looked shocked, she said to me i thought you said that bc you were looking out for my health and not because you felt i was prying through your things...
and now i feel bad bc i feel like she was just trying to help and i got mad at her for nothing :-(
Maybe in order to avoid my anger I should be more direct with people so that i can avoid misuderstanding and anger later on?


p.s. to mods- accidently posted this as a new thread called "angry" when i really meant to reply to this thread...
 
Woodrow said:
One good solution to anger is to live to be too old to get angry.

But, if you can't do that you can try a few things.

1. Only get angry at people you know will beat the daylights out of you

2. Rip up all the money in your wallet whenever you get angry

3. Bite a brick when you get angry

4. Kick a 700 pound gorilla


I assure you if you do anyone of those things every time you get angry, you will soon stop getting angry.


Or you can do the simple and more beneficial thing. Make du'a and sincerly repent for allowing your self to ever becoming unrighteously angered.
Click to expand...

lol ur so funny! :giggling:
one warning... NEVER PLAY ON UR XBOX WHEN UR ANGRY... unless u want to spend more dollars on a new controller...:sl:
 
Woodrow said:
One good solution to anger is to live to be too old to get angry.

But, if you can't do that you can try a few things.

1. Only get angry at people you know will beat the daylights out of you

2. Rip up all the money in your wallet whenever you get angry

3. Bite a brick when you get angry

4. Kick a 700 pound gorilla


I assure you if you do anyone of those things every time you get angry, you will soon stop getting angry.


Or you can do the simple and more beneficial thing. Make du'a and sincerly repent for allowing your self to ever becoming unrighteously angered.
Click to expand...

also... u can just eat.....




brownies...mmmm....
 
Greetings and peace be with you all,

Ok I am a Christian, but here is some Buddhist philosophy on anger.

Anger is a most destructive force and we often fail to understand that we hurt ourselves more than we hurt the person we are angry with

Anger is like picking up a burning coal with the intention of throwing it at the person we are angry with, the person who gets burned the most is ourselves. If we hold onto our anger for six months the hotter the coal becomes.

The chances are the person we are angry with is not even aware of the anger we are storing up in our mind against them. If we retain that anger in our thoughts then that person controls our mind. Anger eats away at your soul like a poison.

It has also been said that anger is like drinking poison hoping the other person dies, but poison does not work like that.

When you start to come to terms with the destructive force of anger; it leads you to search for an alternative solution and that is to forgive the person you are angry with.

In the spirit of searching for an inner peace

Eric
 
Eric H said:
Greetings and peace be with you all,

Ok I am a Christian, but here is some Buddhist philosophy on anger.

Anger is a most destructive force and we often fail to understand that we hurt ourselves more than we hurt the person we are angry with

Anger is like picking up a burning coal with the intention of throwing it at the person we are angry with, the person who gets burned the most is ourselves. If we hold onto our anger for six months the hotter the coal becomes.

The chances are the person we are angry with is not even aware of the anger we are storing up in our mind against them. If we retain that anger in our thoughts then that person controls our mind. Anger eats away at your soul like a poison.

It has also been said that anger is like drinking poison hoping the other person dies, but poison does not work like that.

When you start to come to terms with the destructive force of anger; it leads you to search for an alternative solution and that is to forgive the person you are angry with.

In the spirit of searching for an inner peace

Eric
Click to expand...

^^This post is worth Zillion dollars...Good Post Eric.....:)
 
Greetings and peace be with you Abdul-Raouf and thanks for the encouragement.

This post is worth Zillion dollars...Good Post Eric.....:)
Click to expand...

Cash will be fine, I am a bit short this week...:D:D:D


Anyway I can’t really teach anyone here about anger, the best person to teach you about anger is the person you are angry with. Letting go of anger is a practical thing. I was very lucky, I only lost £4 to the lady who unwittingly taught me to forgive.

Anger often forces us to react in ways we may later regret. I have two personal stories one is really trivial, however if I had not understood about anger in a trivial way I would not have understood how it could make the difference between life and death in my second experience.

Years ago I was a window cleaner and a lady asked me to clean her windows and could I come back Friday for the money. I called back and she said sorry but could you call back again next Friday. This went on for several months, one day I called and she was unloading a car full of shopping, she was almost laughing when she said she had spent all her money. I frequently used to go home after and be angry with my wife and children through no fault of theirs.

As time went by it seemed she was playing games, and I started feeling more angry, I thought of slashing her car tyres or super gluing her door locks because of the injustice. I can’t recall exactly how I changed but on the way to her house I had a change of heart and said to myself if she needs the money more than I do then I will cancel her debt and forgive her totally.

The moment I said this to myself it felt like a huge weight had been lifted and my anger disappeared. Afterwards I had time to reflect, it had taken me about a quarter of an hour to clean her windows, but I had wasted numerous hours chasing after fifteen minutes work. It did not stop there; I had spent hours of my time feeling anger and the need to take some kind of action. I had made my wife and kids miserable through no fault of their own.

All the time I spent with feelings of anger that woman controlled my thoughts and she did not know it. All this because I was not able to forgive; but rather preferred to live in anger as a matter of principle. I often saw the woman again and said hello to her but I never asked her for the money again, I had fully written of the debt and forgiven her

Ghandi said it is only the strong who can forgive, the weak hold onto their anger. I have to say that after forgiving this woman I was now in control of my own mind and did not have any feelings of hate towards her again. Years later and I am now so thankful this lady taught me how to forgive.

I will post the other story when i have time

In the spirit of saeeking an inner peace

Eric
 
Thats a nice story Eric... Reminds me of the quote..'Those who anger you, control you'
 
assalamu alaikum brothers and sisters
i did used to get angry very quickly however it has been narrated in the quran that one should observe patients"Allah loves those who are patient"
i used to just filp out at the smallest things but its cause the shaitaan whispers things in you ear tryning to wind you up.yes,...that little voice in your head a lot of the times is shaitaan if you are not close to Allah.you think its you that thinks them awful thoughts but where there is evil ,is shaitaan.keep that in mind inshallah.

a dua for one who gets angry "auzu billah himinash SHAITAANir rajim"

meaning-"I seek refuge from Allah from the outcast Satan."
inshallah that will help you all.walaikum salam
 
Eric H said:
Greetings and peace be with you Abdul-Raouf and thanks for the encouragement.



Cash will be fine, I am a bit short this week...:D:D:D


Anyway I can’t really teach anyone here about anger, the best person to teach you about anger is the person you are angry with. Letting go of anger is a practical thing. I was very lucky, I only lost £4 to the lady who unwittingly taught me to forgive.

Anger often forces us to react in ways we may later regret. I have two personal stories one is really trivial, however if I had not understood about anger in a trivial way I would not have understood how it could make the difference between life and death in my second experience.

Years ago I was a window cleaner and a lady asked me to clean her windows and could I come back Friday for the money. I called back and she said sorry but could you call back again next Friday. This went on for several months, one day I called and she was unloading a car full of shopping, she was almost laughing when she said she had spent all her money. I frequently used to go home after and be angry with my wife and children through no fault of theirs.

As time went by it seemed she was playing games, and I started feeling more angry, I thought of slashing her car tyres or super gluing her door locks because of the injustice. I can’t recall exactly how I changed but on the way to her house I had a change of heart and said to myself if she needs the money more than I do then I will cancel her debt and forgive her totally.

The moment I said this to myself it felt like a huge weight had been lifted and my anger disappeared. Afterwards I had time to reflect, it had taken me about a quarter of an hour to clean her windows, but I had wasted numerous hours chasing after fifteen minutes work. It did not stop there; I had spent hours of my time feeling anger and the need to take some kind of action. I had made my wife and kids miserable through no fault of their own.

All the time I spent with feelings of anger that woman controlled my thoughts and she did not know it. All this because I was not able to forgive; but rather preferred to live in anger as a matter of principle. I often saw the woman again and said hello to her but I never asked her for the money again, I had fully written of the debt and forgiven her

Ghandi said it is only the strong who can forgive, the weak hold onto their anger. I have to say that after forgiving this woman I was now in control of my own mind and did not have any feelings of hate towards her again. Years later and I am now so thankful this lady taught me how to forgive.

I will post the other story when i have time

In the spirit of saeeking an inner peace

Eric
Click to expand...


nice story to share about anger...and how we are controlled by it if we are not forgive... the power of forgiving..masha Allah :happy:
 
Unresolved Anger is the most destructive weed to infest our garden. It rapidly spreads, depletes our soil of compassion, thought and understanding. Sadly because it does grow with such vigor and is such a rapid producer of fruit, we often erroneously feed it and nurture it as we seem to enjoy the taste of it's fruit.

The fruit of unresolved anger, is somewhat bitter sweet. the immediate taste is quite delicious, but it seems to leave a bitter after taste. Although the fruit is initially very filling, it does leave us depleted of nutrients and often we turn to trying to supplement the loss with prejudice and self righteousness.

Very few herbicides are effective in removing this pest from our garden. although "Round-up" is the most effective herbicide available, it has no value in eliminating anger.

The old knowledgeable farmers always look for the herbicides that contain forgiveness. That is the only proven means of removing anger from our gardens.
 
If you irradiate yourself with Gamma rays, and don't die in the process, you better purchase some Prozac, pronto.

For the less Hulkish members of society, a simple sitting down/punching bag/stress ball will do to avoid anger.
 
I get quite angry when I don't smoke for a day [i'm trying to quit] does that count :P

And the prophet (PBUH) says:
When you are anry, sit. And if you are sitting then lay down. And say auoodobillahi minash SHAITAN -nir- RAJEEM.

ohhh thattttt ****neddd shaitttannn!! *waves fist*
 
Omari said:
I get quite angry when I don't smoke for a day [i'm trying to quit] does that count :P

And the prophet (PBUH) says:
When you are anry, sit. And if you are sitting then lay down. And say auoodobillahi minash SHAITAN -nir- RAJEEM.

ohhh thattttt ****neddd shaitttannn!! *waves fist*
Click to expand...

I can give you many reasons to quit smoking. I also know the difficulty in quitting. I started smoking when I was about 5 years old. I was a heavy smoker for over 60 years and even though I am now paying the price of having been a smoker, I still have times of craving to smoke. Yes, it does cause for short tempers when one quits or is in the process of quitting. that is one reason it is so addictive. The best choice is to substitute another activity for smoking. Place yourself in more activities in which smoking is impossible.

Take up swimming, spend more time in prayer, spend more time in places where nobody is smoking.

You do not want to pay the inevitable price smoking will eventually cost you.
 
you're right ofcourse, but I'm not sure it can be labeled "inevitable." i know people who have died at the age of 102 and have been smoking for 65 years.
But yes. inshalah im going to finish what is tarted :)

jazakallah
Omari
 
Greetings and peace be with you Omari;

I get quite angry when I don't smoke for a day [i'm trying to quit] does that count
Click to expand...
Anger was the driving force that helped me stop smoking, but you must be very clear to direct the anger against yourself and nothing or nobody else.

I can remember smoking about 20-25 a day, and feeling totally dependent on them. I can remember a time when my job was on the line, and I was a witness to fraud at work, if you are ever a witness in a court you also become a prime suspect because you were simply there.

I can remember feeling my life was a mess and I became angry with myself for getting in such a state. I was angry with myself that some stupid white stick of weed was controlling my life and I could not live without them, I was angry with myself for being so weak.

It was at this point I decided to fight back, and stop smoking cold turkey and start cycling, I just had the one fag in the first week of giving up, that was my last moment of weakness, twenty seven years ago.

Even now after twenty seven years there are still the occasional times I could fancy a cigarette, but I know fags are stronger then I am, if I have just one I will probably give in and start smoking again. I still have a real fear that cigarettes are stronger than I am, and that has kept me off them.

When I smoked I had no stamina and started wheezing after just a few moments of exercise I was thirty two at the time. Within a year of stopping I was cycling up to four hundred and fifty miles in a weekend. At sixteen years of age you should find a huge difference if you take up a sport, and sport is often a very good way of getting rid of anger.

In the spirit of praying for an inner strength

Eric
 
some more hadiths

“Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created of fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution.” [Abu Dawud; Book 41, No. 4766]

Abu Dharr narrated: The Apostle of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam, said to us: "When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down." [Abu Dawud; Book 41, No. 4764

i think the thread should be closed down now!!
 
I heard you should pray "Ya sabro" "Ya Sabro" in your heart inshallah it will work...

I get angry really really quickly but i've tried soo hard in the past to get over it, i feel its not soo easy..

but may Allah help and guide all of us... ameen
 

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