Whats your opinion on arranged marriage?

[adeeb]

i do agree with arranged marriage if both of the spouses fine...

but forced marriage, not..
today is 2008, and i hope the forced marriage would never exist anymore....

 

[Abdul-Raouf]

I go for arranged marriage...

BUT i dont wanna be forced to/And I dont want to force anyone to marry a particular person...

Insha'allah everything should happen fine... its HIM who desides.

 

[Intisar]

I see nothing wrong with arranged marriages, since they lean more towards an Islaamic way of getting married - which is the best way. But, it's how you and your parents going about setting you up, if it's forced then there's something wrong with it and can lead to even death sometimes, subhan Allaah (such as honour killings).

Me personally, I plan on getting married through purely Islaamic means and/or arranged two years from now when I am about twenty inshaa Allaah and suprisingly my mother is really happy about it alhamdulilah. Because we all know that when we give into fitnah and temptations the Shaydaan becomes the third party and marriages don't tend to last as long. As long you're going about it in an Islaamic way, because arranged marriages can be also classed as an Islaamic marriage, then mashaa Allaah your marriage will probably last longer.

Besides, love comes after marriage, fahamtu?

 

[truemuslim]

arranged marriage?... hmm... by force ... haram so.. NOWAY... but if like u wanna marry someone and all and ur parents arrange it and u want to marry the person.. perfect and halal way to get married. better than dating... staying years unmarried... then being depressed... or being forced to marry.. which both of these are haram... but normal halal arranged marriage is a good way to get married...

 

[krypton6]

Aranged marriage is also very popular in the asian and indian culture.

Personally I find it horrific to imagine myself living with a person that I'm not in love, for my entire life.

 

[sur]

Arranged marriage does NOT it has to be a "Forced" marriage against will bride or groom.

Arranged marriage in which bride & groom see each other BUT parents/elders do the detailed talk r most successful practically.

Love marriages without intervension of parents/elders r most flop practically.

 

[Intisar]

Aranged marriage is also very popular in the asian and indian culture.

Personally I find it horrific to imagine myself living with a person that I'm not in love, for my entire life.

Well if you've fallen in love with them before you were even married, then it would be haraam, no? Who's to say that your love for a person can't blossom later on?

I think we as Muslims, and as Westerners, need to rid ourselves of this pre-conceived notion that arranged marriages equate to being a forced marriage where you have no choice. If your mother arranges for you to meet him a sister, in a more than likely halaal way, and later you decide to get married and fall in love then that's considered an ''arranged marriage''. Unlike some, who go the haraam way about it, and their parents basically give them a spouse and that they have no choice in marrying them or not because the honour lies solely on the woman of the family, subhan Allaah. We know that this is not right, and it is prevalent in South-Asian households, but people need to stop mixing culture with religion. Religion overrides culture, full stop! And that's where this arranged = forced marriage thinking comes from.

 

[krypton6]

Arranged marriage does NOT it has to be a "Forced" marriage against will bride or groom.

Arranged marriage in which bride & groom see each other BUT parents/elders do the detailed talk r most successful practically.

Love marriages without intervension of parents/elders r most flop practically.

In an arranged marriage the bride & groom will as far as I know never be be able to speak to each other without the parents being in the same room.

Also, what is the detailed talk all about?

Love marriages as I see it are the best if you ask me, since both parts get to know each other before the actual marriage. It does not have to be dating each other, but just simply knowing each other, such as in school where you know this girl, have talked to her about school and such, ang have seen a bit of her personality and how she is.

 

[krypton6]

Well if you've fallen in love with them before you were even married, then it would be haraam, no? Who's to say that your love for a person can't blossom later on?

I fall in love with people without even talking to them, I hear them talking to others and from there I slowly create an description of the girl. I do not talk though other than what may be related to study.

 

[noorseeker]

salam. Some people on here are saying arranged marriages are wrong, but were MUSLIMS , what other way do you suppose. Theres a difference betwen arranged and forced.

I think the problem is girls beingtaken back home to get married, there is a clash of cultures , i will use my self as a example my mum wants me to go back home, but i dont want to because my native language is terrible and i will not be able to communicate to my wife

 

[sur]

In an arranged marriage the bride & groom will as far as I know never be be able to speak to each other without the parents being in the same room.

No it's not like that always. Though oft times they don't get to know each other by talking & sharing BUT can see each other or a photo of each other & decide whether they like the looks or not. Mostly in sub-continent it's groom who gets to see & decide about bride & bride just follows parents decision. It's not right though.


So it's semi-arranged, if u will. Parents look for girl, show her to groom, if he likes her, parents go & ask her hand for son. that's reply to following.

Also, what is the detailed talk all about?

 

[krypton6]

No it's not like that always. Though oft times they don't get to know each other by talking & sharing BUT can see each other or a photo of each other & decide whether they like the looks or not. Mostly in sub-continent it's groom who gets to see & decide about bride & bride just follows parents decision. It's not right though.

I would never marry a woman before talking with her first and understanding her a bit, a photo quite simply is not enough.

I see arranged marriage identical to forced marriage; in both you do not get to know the bride/groom before the actual marriage and that could be misleading marriages.

 

[sur]

I would never marry a woman before talking with her first and understanding her a bit, a photo quite simply is not enough.

I see arranged marriage identical to forced marriage; in both you do not get to know the bride/groom before the actual marriage and that could be misleading marriages.

i am not supporting or opposing any particular type.

It's just the way it is in most muslim countries, i think.

But believe me , arranged & so-called forced marriages r more successful than love marriages. Many times couple meets for 1st time on their D-day & still live whole life happily together.

proof is 40-60% divorce rate in WEST -vs- <1% in India.

 

[------]

:salamext:

There should be a poll added to this thread called:

Do you agree with arranged marriages?

 

[qassy!]

:salamext:

There should be a poll added to this thread called:

Do you agree with arranged marriages?

Just added

i
But believe me , arranged & so-called forced marriages r more successful than love marriages. Many times couple meets for 1st time on their D-day & still live whole life happily together.

See how can you say arranged marriage is better? If I have ever met the girl, how do I know I will like her?

I would never marry a woman before talking with her first and understanding her a bit, a photo quite simply is not enough.

I see arranged marriage identical to forced marriage; in both you do not get to know the bride/groom before the actual marriage and that could be misleading marriages.

Agreed.

But what I will not mind, is my parents help me choose the right girl, but then I need some time alone with her, 2 chat cuz I cant just marry someone I met 4 a day or a week!

 

[Omari]

Sure, I like many others would never force somone into arranged marriage. That said, Islam definatly forbids the modern, Girlfreind/ Boyfreind relationship BEFORE marriage. So if being against arranged marriage is for the sake of such a thing, then i strongly support arranged marriages.
Most arranged marriages last a long time, and statistics have shown that most love marriages end in divorce.
So yes i support arranged marriages
And if my daughter (when i have one) does not want to get arranged married to the person i have brought for her, then i want her to introduce me to a person she would like to marry, after all its her life and not mine. so she should choose, i would simply want the best for my daughter

peace be with all of you,
Omari

 

[qassy!]

LET ME Add somthing

You know arranged marriages is it the same as forced? Your not letting the daughter choose her own husband ??

Omari: Bruv, "when" you have a daughter, if she brings you a man, will you be upset with her?

 

[Omari]

Certainly not, if the person can support my daughter and help her raise a family of her own, then i will sit down with him with a cup of tea and discuss with him. Then i will invite his parents or relatives over so we can discuss nikkah time. Simple as that. There is no force in islam. and thus i have no right to use any

 

[------]

:salamext:

Bruv… bruv! Try and understand something here. Your parents know what is best for you, and they will find a suitable girl! You’re only young yet, so you have many desires…

 

[krypton6]

Try and understand something here. Your parents know what is best for you, and they will find a suitable girl! You’re only young yet, so you have many desires…

No regarding love it is rare for parents to know the true concept of it. I know what I want in a woman, my parents do not, I know myself better than what my parents know. I will take their advice and listen to them, but I will never follow and execute any orders that I do not agree on, wether it may cost me my relationship with them or not.