help plz..younger guy

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The whole point of a forum is that people speaks their views and opinions, including personal experiences, it is good for people who are asking for advise to see the good side as well as the bad side before the person makes a final decision. What sis Eeman has said is nothing wrong or out of order, cos we all know that men do mature later and even if this male is already mature, sis Eeman is just stating the fact that sister who posted originally looks into all the angles first before makin a big decision such as marriage.
There is really no point is causing an argument in this, as we are all allowed to speak our views and thoughts, if another does not like this, there is no need for them to tell the other person to not speak their views. We all have an equal right and if anyone wanted to say anything it should be the original poster.
Everyone should be able to make both pos and neg views and then the sister can come to her own conclusion. No one does anythin based on just other peoples views, at the end the person makes the choice themselves
 
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You're in Love now. But putting the love aside really. Can this eighteen year old guy give you a life? I have nothing against marrying men younger. In fact I think its quite interesting. But really. Think realistically.
 
:w:


arabianprincess said:
salam wa 3lykom

its not really about the age .. but as u know any relationship with a guy is harammmmmmmmmm n a huge sin...
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yap...age difference does not matter . It's allowed in Islam for a woman to marry a Muslim man younger than her.

The point is we ( both Muslim men & women ) are NOT allowed to go around with the opposite sex.

sis , offer Ishthekhara prayer. If u have positive signs , then go ahead Islamically. Talk to your guardian / aunt/ uncle for arranged marriage .
 
So sisters at what age can a brother be a good husband because time and time again i see sisters saying from18 to about 20+ the brothers at this age are brain dead,and they come alive with maturity after some years.

As an 18 year old i feel i could step up and be a good loyal husband,now some sisters will say 'ohh its his male ego he cant do nothing!'women are great motivators they always push the man to the limits by constantly coaxing and unfortunately some men go through this ordeal and fail and some are successful.

Inshallah if i got married at this age for sure i could handle marriage not because i think that i'm mr cool but praying and asking for dua will get me through
 
no doubt there are some men who can adapt to this much earlier than some guys... each to their own
 
In life the most dificult thing would be to find the half. There is no perfect age for marriage. When i was 18 i was concentrated on my studies.
 
Ahmedjunior said:
So sisters at what age can a brother be a good husband because time and time again i see sisters saying from18 to about 20+ the brothers at this age are brain dead,and they come alive with maturity after some years.

As an 18 year old i feel i could step up and be a good loyal husband,now some sisters will say 'ohh its his male ego he cant do nothing!'women are great motivators they always push the man to the limits by constantly coaxing and unfortunately some men go through this ordeal and fail and some are successful.

Inshallah if i got married at this age for sure i could handle marriage not because i think that i'm mr cool but praying and asking for dua will get me through
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Masha'Allah bro that is great to hear and shows your firm believe and reliance upon Allah swt, but when your not n a situation you think something else, everything seems differently, i wanted to get married and was ready a 16 lol!
but Wallah once you go through it its a whole different cattle of fish!!!

but you only find out once you experience it first hand,

a lot of bros and sisters think that love on itself makes the marraige work and its a something that should be relied upon, but i believe that there re soooooooooo many aspects of marriage that needs reliance on not just love in itself.

when two people come together in the union of marriage they become partners in life, companions with the intention that this is how we will live the rest of our life, they both need to rely on each other and be each other's backbone, yes at first its love that makes the world go round then after a while that love starts to fade a little its very important to have a very firm and strong base of friendship between the two spouses, cos it is the friendship that will make it last, the give and take should never stop it should always carry on in dosages you give and give and give but in return your partner has to give and give and give too, cos then as much as your giving your recieving too making that love flow and your never going to be left in a situation where your love reserve has run out.

in most cases you find that its just a case of give and give and give then the partner has given so much that it becomes a case when there's nothing more left for them to give and in return they become a bitter grudgeful miserable person.

bro there are times many times infact that women need to be motivated too otherwise they just become sick and tired of acting like the mummy all the time.
 
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^ lol :| theres nothing wrong with taking breaks when things get over heated.



but this is going OT ! personally i myself know of brothers at 19-20 who are married right now and doing great, mashaAllaah :D
 
Eeman said:
take a break from what bro?
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ffrom each other to contemplate and perhaps miss each other? i mean the prophet sallallahi alaihi wasallaam himself took a month break from his wives when there were too many disputes. Its just a calming down period, i think it can work wonders for relationships
 
but erm...18 n 20 is not a huge gap....:?

Dont worry about what ur `friends´ have to say. This is ur life, u shud focus only on what matters which is `how is his deen, his personality, ru attracted to one another etc. Can u see urself being married to him for life:?.
 
IbnAbdulHakim said:
ffrom each other to contemplate and perhaps miss each other? i mean the prophet sallallahi alaihi wasallaam himself took a month break from his wives when there were too many disputes. Its just a calming down period, i think it can work wonders for relationships
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are you referring to when the husband sends her back home to her mums cos he has had enough!!!!!!!

so everytime u have disputes your husband sends you home for a month?
say you have 4 disputes in a year so out of 12 months in a year you spend four months at your mums??????

come on bro, thats not what marriage is intended for, and anyhow if you both strive hard to keep eachother happy for the sake of Allah swt cos it counts as a deed then there will be no need for you to have 1 months separation cooling off periods cos itwont come to that let alone disputing much or to that extent.

the prophet saw had many wives! not just one so makes you wonder why he took a break.
 
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^ sis it depends completely on the individuals in question.

if the couple really like each other, they'll wanna be back together and they'll appreciate each other more. If they dont, then Allah knows best but perhaps they should stop making each others life miserable.


personally, i would do the cooling off period, but i would NEVER abuse it. Ie if i think my wife needs me i wudnt leave her, if we BOTH feel we need to cool off then why not?

Assalamu Alaikum
 
IbnAbdulHakim said:
^ sis it depends completely on the individuals in question.

if the couple really like each other, they'll wanna be back together and they'll appreciate each other more. If they dont, then Allah knows best but perhaps they should stop making each others life miserable.


personally, i would do the cooling off period, but i would NEVER abuse it. Ie if i think my wife needs me i wudnt leave her, if we BOTH feel we need to cool off then why not?

Assalamu Alaikum
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and bro my point is that if as good muslims we really do followour religion and the true message of Allah it should never come to that cooling off period or anything.
 
thx for all of ur replys sum say even thou his young he can be mature nd he is very well mannerd..nd others say 'childish' well idk..i might gonna leave him cuz derz dis other guy dat liks me and his lik 23 years old..am ntt in love wid him thou :( but his age is perfect..but i still dk..i mean my parent will prob freak out me mayin a guy younger den me..nd my sis will prob say its disgusting..idk
 
miss islam said:
thx for all of ur replys sum say even thou his young he can be mature nd he is very well mannerd..nd others say 'childish' well idk..i might gonna leave him cuz derz dis other guy dat liks me and his lik 23 years old..am ntt in love wid him thou :( but his age is perfect..but i still dk..i mean my parent will prob freak out me mayin a guy younger den me..nd my sis will prob say its disgusting..idk
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Look! you said it yourself in your own words that he can be well mannered and mature,sister what is stopping you? is it what other people think ,would you marry someone that you do not know properly just to please your friends and then be regretting the wrong decision you made all your life or would you marry someone who loves you and that you know what kind of person they are,building on this perfect foundation will bring a fruitful marriage

Let those bored friends of yours who just like to gossip have the first laugh because trust me you'll have the last laugh

but if you're parents oppose then you can peacefully explain that the boy is a boy of good manners but if they are having none of it for whatever crappy reason be it that he is not good for you or it will bring shame to the family then just listen to your parents :thumbs_up

peace out
 
:sl:

If his Imaan and piety is good and satisfies you, then don't let age stand in the way, especially since your age difference isn't even major, only two years. Age is just a number and understanding & wisdom do not come with being older - they are a provision from Allaah which He gives to whosoever He wills from His servants.
 
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Ahmedjunior said:
Look! you said it yourself in your own words that he can be well mannered and mature,sister what is stopping you? is it what other people think ,would you marry someone that you do not know properly just to please your friends and then be regretting the wrong decision you made all your life or would you marry someone who loves you and that you know what kind of person they are,building on this perfect foundation will bring a fruitful marriage

Let those bored friends of yours who just like to gossip have the first laugh because trust me you'll have the last laugh

but if you're parents oppose then you can peacefully explain that the boy is a boy of good manners but if they are having none of it for whatever crappy reason be it that he is not good for you or it will bring shame to the family then just listen to your parents :thumbs_up

peace out
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well..i agree..i mean da guy is a gud muslim..prob betta den me..well friends tell u da truth most of the time..dat if i sld be wid an older guy i'll be more wise..and stuff..well i knw if i left him i'll hurt him deeply cuz of his age..but am still thinking idk i sld jus giv myself a week o month after choosin my decision..
 
Abu Sayyad said:
:sl:

If his Imaan and piety is good and satisfies you, then don't let age stand in the way, especially since your age difference isn't even major, only two years. Age is just a number and understanding & wisdom do not come with being older - they are a provision from Allaah which He gives to whosoever He wills from His servants.
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yaa i totally agree
 
Eeman said:
and bro my point is that if as good muslims we really do followour religion and the true message of Allah it should never come to that cooling off period or anything.
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disagreed becoz the prophet sallallahi alaihi wasallaam used a cooling off period.

he was the best of mankind right?

this shows that its the BEST way to cool down a heated relationship !
 

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