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Lame Jokes

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    Samiun's Avatar Full Member
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    Talking Lame Jokes

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    I don't know why, but I have an interest for lame jokes. Here's one:

    Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool?

    THEY KEPT DROPPING THEIR TRUNKS!

    Come and share more lame jokes on this thread!
    Lame Jokes

    Please Make Dua' For Samiun..

    “Whoever records a biography of a believer, it is as though he has brought him or her back to life.” - Imam Al-Sakhawi
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    MightyFeathers's Avatar Limited Member
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    Re: Lame Jokes

    hahaha that is the most hilarious joke I have ever heard. Though I am verily sorry to admit that I hath no lameth jokes to provideth this comunityith withith. but I do have tacos. Anyone want a taco?
    | Likes Search liked this post
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  4. #3
    h-n's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Lame Jokes

    Why did the idiot go to the desert???

    To get some water
    | Likes Muslim Woman, Search liked this post
    Lame Jokes

    "Allah! There is no god but He - the Living, The Self-subsisting, Eternal. No slumber can seize Him Nor Sleep. His are all things In the heavens and on earth." Quran , Surah Baqarah 2:255
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    Qurratul Ayn's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Lame Jokes

    ^ What a lame-o joke!

    But I still laughed

    Joke: Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill?

    Because it ran out of juice!

    *Ba dum bam tiss* (drums & cymbals)
    | Likes Samiun, Muslim Woman, Search, Eric H, Al Sultan liked this post
    Lame Jokes

    فَبِأَيِّ ءَالَآءِ رَبِّكُمَا تُكَذِّبَانِ
    "Then which of the favours of Your Lord will ye deny?"
    Al-Qur'aan; Surah Ar-Rahman


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    h-n's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Lame Jokes

    ^ Thanks. phew, it made it as a joke

    How can you avoid unfriendly people?

    By pretending to have leprosy.
    Last edited by h-n; 09-08-2013 at 12:54 AM.
    | Likes Search, Eric H liked this post
    Lame Jokes

    "Allah! There is no god but He - the Living, The Self-subsisting, Eternal. No slumber can seize Him Nor Sleep. His are all things In the heavens and on earth." Quran , Surah Baqarah 2:255
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  8. #6
    Samiun's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Lame Jokes

    So many LAME jokes here Subhanallah. But I kinda feel the above one was more of an insult imo

    Ok my turn, why did the Cookie went to the hospital?

    BECAUSE HE FELT CRUMMY
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  9. #7
    Plz Answer Me's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Lame Jokes

    Here is the story of an Imam who got up after Friday prayers and announced to the people:

    "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets." :smile:
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    Plz Answer Me's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Lame Jokes

    Brother samiun keep in mind that lying in joke is forbidden in Islam. so bring paak paak jokes :smile:

    "Woe be on one who speaks and lies in order to make people laugh, woe be on him." [Abu Dawood vol: 3, no. 4972.]
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    Samiun's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Lame Jokes

    ^ sis I don't see how there's lie involved?

    Anyways my turn

    What do you call a fish with no eye?
    FSSSHH
    | Likes Plz Answer Me, Search, Eric H liked this post
    Lame Jokes

    Please Make Dua' For Samiun..

    “Whoever records a biography of a believer, it is as though he has brought him or her back to life.” - Imam Al-Sakhawi
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    Plz Answer Me's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Lame Jokes

    format_quote Originally Posted by Samiun View Post
    ^ sis I don't see how there's lie involved?

    Anyways my turn

    What do you call a fish with no eye?
    FSSSHH
    Walaikum Assalam

    Got it :smile:
    I = eye
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  14. #11
    Samiun's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Lame Jokes

    I would make a Pokemon joke, but you wouldn't CATCH EM ALL
    Lame Jokes

    Please Make Dua' For Samiun..

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  15. #12
    Eric H's Avatar
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    Re: Lame Jokes

    What do you call a deer with perfect eyes?

    A good eye deer
    Lame Jokes

    You will never look into the eyes of anyone who does not matter to God.
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    Re: Lame Jokes

    A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't I've cut off your arms!"

    As the man woke up in hospital, the doctor said, I have some bad news and some good news. The bad news is we amputated the wrong leg, the good news is, your bad leg is getting better.
    Lame Jokes

    You will never look into the eyes of anyone who does not matter to God.
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    czgibson's Avatar
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    Re: Lame Jokes

    Greetings,

    Some people think puns count as lame jokes. I think puns are brilliant. The worse they are, the better!

    • I tried to catch some fog, but I mist
    • I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy.
    • I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
    • How did I escape Iraq? Iran.
    • I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
    • I quit my job at the helium balloon factory. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone.
    • I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

    Peace
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    Search's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Lame Jokes

    (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

    This looks to be like a fun thread! Awesomeness!

    So, for lame jokes, I'll provide the following lame-o-rama pickup lines to be used on your significant other (SO). (Winks.)

    Disclaimer: Neither I nor IB is responsible if the pickup line goes wrong with your SO - so, use at your own risk - IB and myself thank you for your careless (tehehe) understanding.

    1. Are you a magician? Cause when I look at you everything else disappears!
    2. If you were a booger, I'd always pick you first.
    3. Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
    4. Do you have a map? Because I'm getting lost in your eyes.
    5. Does your left eye hurt? Because you've been looking right all day.
    6. If I seem drunk, it's because I'm intoxicated by you.
    7. I'm not staring at your chest. I'm staring at your heart.
    8. Your body is 65% water. I'm thirsty.
    9. Fascinating. I've been looking at your eyes all night long, 'cause I've never seen such dark eyes with so much light in them.
    10. If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand.
    11. Are you tired? Because you've been running in my mind all day.
    12. Are you a banana? Because I find you a-peeling.
    13. Is your dad a drug dealer? Because you're so dope!
    14. Smoking is hazardous to your health...and baby, you're killing me!
    15. There isn't a word in the dictionary for how good you look.
    16. Me without you is like a nerd without braces, A shoe without laces, aSentenceWithoutSpaces
    17. Put down that cupake...you're sweet enough already.
    19. Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!
    20. Your lips look lonely. Would they like to meet mine?
    21. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
    22, Your body is like a beautiful temple. Are you offering services tonight?
    23. I'm no organ donor, but I'm so happy I gave you my heart.
    24. You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
    25. Did you fart, cause you always blow me away.
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    'abd al-hakeem's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Lame Jokes

    I'm not very good with jokes but I've heard a few good ones

    | Likes Eric H liked this post
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  21. #17
    Cptn._.Mario's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Lame Jokes

    Why can't the bicycle stand on its own? Cos it's too tired

    How do you get holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
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    Cptn._.Mario's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Lame Jokes

    format_quote Originally Posted by Cptn._.Mario View Post
    Why can't the bicycle stand on its own? Cos it's too tired

    How do you get holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
    The
    first joke, for those who don't understand, change the word tired to tyred.
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  23. #19
    Cptn._.Mario's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Lame Jokes

    We're allowed to marry four, but I don't think that's necessary since your a 10.
    | Likes Mustafa16 liked this post
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    ┳┻|
    ┻┳|•.•) Hello, Assalamu Alaikum! Check out this topic for awesome rewards insha Allah! #makethechanges
    ┳┻|⊂ノ
    ┻┳|

    CLICK HERE!!!
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    Re: Lame Jokes

    Two young men were sitting on a park bench, and one of them was looking upset.....the other asks, "ya, Ahmed what's wrong?" Ahmed looks at him, hugs his companion and says, "she gave me her wali's number and pizza hut answered"
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