Lame Jokes

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Samiun

Samiun

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:sl: I don't know why, but I have an interest for lame jokes. Here's one:

Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool?

THEY KEPT DROPPING THEIR TRUNKS!

Come and share more lame jokes on this thread! :D
 
;D hahaha that is the most hilarious joke I have ever heard. Though I am verily sorry to admit that I hath no lameth jokes to provideth this comunityith withith. but I do have tacos. Anyone want a taco?
 
^ What a lame-o joke!

But I still laughed :D

Joke: Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill?

Because it ran out of juice!

*Ba dum bam tiss* (drums & cymbals)
 
^ Thanks. phew, it made it as a joke :)

How can you avoid unfriendly people?

By pretending to have leprosy.
 
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:sl: So many LAME jokes here Subhanallah. But I kinda feel the above one was more of an insult imo :(

Ok my turn, why did the Cookie went to the hospital?

BECAUSE HE FELT CRUMMY
 
Here is the story of an Imam who got up after Friday prayers and announced to the people:

"I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets." :smile:
 
Brother samiun keep in mind that lying in joke is forbidden in Islam. so bring paak paak jokes :smile:

"Woe be on one who speaks and lies in order to make people laugh, woe be on him." [Abu Dawood vol: 3, no. 4972.]
 
^:sl: sis I don't see how there's lie involved?

Anyways my turn

What do you call a fish with no eye?
FSSSHH
 
What do you call a deer with perfect eyes?

A good eye deer :hiding:
 
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't I've cut off your arms!"

As the man woke up in hospital, the doctor said, I have some bad news and some good news. The bad news is we amputated the wrong leg, the good news is, your bad leg is getting better. :heated:
 
Greetings,

Some people think puns count as lame jokes. I think puns are brilliant. The worse they are, the better!

  • I tried to catch some fog, but I mist
  • I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy.
  • I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
  • How did I escape Iraq? Iran.
  • I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
  • I quit my job at the helium balloon factory. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone.
  • I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
Peace
 
:bism: (In the Name of God, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful)

This looks to be like a fun thread! Awesomeness!

So, for lame jokes, I'll provide the following lame-o-rama pickup lines to be used on your significant other (SO). (Winks.)

Disclaimer: Neither I nor IB is responsible if the pickup line goes wrong with your SO - so, use at your own risk - IB and myself thank you for your careless (tehehe) understanding.

1. Are you a magician? Cause when I look at you everything else disappears!
2. If you were a booger, I'd always pick you first.
3. Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
4. Do you have a map? Because I'm getting lost in your eyes.
5. Does your left eye hurt? Because you've been looking right all day.
6. If I seem drunk, it's because I'm intoxicated by you.
7. I'm not staring at your chest. I'm staring at your heart.
8. Your body is 65% water. I'm thirsty.
9. Fascinating. I've been looking at your eyes all night long, 'cause I've never seen such dark eyes with so much light in them.
10. If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand.
11. Are you tired? Because you've been running in my mind all day.
12. Are you a banana? Because I find you a-peeling.
13. Is your dad a drug dealer? Because you're so dope!
14. Smoking is hazardous to your health...and baby, you're killing me!
15. There isn't a word in the dictionary for how good you look.
16. Me without you is like a nerd without braces, A shoe without laces, aSentenceWithoutSpaces
17. Put down that cupake...you're sweet enough already.
19. Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!
20. Your lips look lonely. Would they like to meet mine?
21. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
22, Your body is like a beautiful temple. Are you offering services tonight?
23. I'm no organ donor, but I'm so happy I gave you my heart.
24. You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
25. Did you fart, cause you always blow me away.
 
Why can't the bicycle stand on its own? Cos it's too tired ;D

How do you get holy water? You boil the hell out of it. ;D;D
 
We're allowed to marry four, but I don't think that's necessary since your a 10. ;D
 
Two young men were sitting on a park bench, and one of them was looking upset.....the other asks, "ya, Ahmed what's wrong?" Ahmed looks at him, hugs his companion and says, "she gave me her wali's number and pizza hut answered"
 

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