The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the language is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. And efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
Just to let you guys know, its a joke I got in an e-mail. :-) lol.
I've heard that one before, but I thought this was the World Affairs section, and until the third paragraph I didn't realize it was the EU joke!
Man, that really got me for a minute! ffended:
"This world is a blank price tag, and whatever value you put on it, is what its worth to you. I have made this world priceless and worthless, so therefore I have placed my value in the afterlife."
This should help all of you with spelling problems....
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which
was
the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in
plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spellingkan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
"z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou"
and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
forst plas.
O Allah Wash away my sins with the water of snow and hail, and cleanse my heart from sin as a white garment is cleansed from filth, and put a great distance between me and my sins, as great as the distance You have made between the East and the West.”
Funny but contains more truth than fiction. In essence the opposite is what happened when English began to separate from the Teutonic languages and incorporate more Latin.
do it ! before ze germanz get 'ere this gonna be kool, kontageous, finally ve r speakin on a level eh! It's offishal, it's not slang, it's the dojy new kwikly lernt english im lyking this
I had a wrestle with an alligator, i had a tussle with a whale, I handcuffed lightning, thrown thunder in jail! Only last week i murdered a rock, injured a stone, hospitalised a brick, im so mean i make medicine sick
"If you even dream of beating me you'd better wake up and apologise!" kay:
do it ! before ze germanz get 'ere this gonna be kool, kontageous, finally ve r speakin on a level eh! It's offishal, it's not slang, it's the dojy new kwikly lernt english im lyking this
not I...ziz iz very frustrating......lol...from ze vay I se it...it's very kontageos.....
man, this is hard....^^how do u do it....
im a naturaal at diz vun Follow ma leed, so kontaijus, ever so kontaijus, re peet after meh, v shall lern dis vun, and run tingz....ezi az tat vwala [voila]
oooh if dis was ofishal, if onli..
I had a wrestle with an alligator, i had a tussle with a whale, I handcuffed lightning, thrown thunder in jail! Only last week i murdered a rock, injured a stone, hospitalised a brick, im so mean i make medicine sick
"If you even dream of beating me you'd better wake up and apologise!" kay:
25:36 And the true servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk the earth with humility and when the ignorant address them, they respond with words of peace.
ze wordz ' VIKID!, RIDIKULUSLI TRIFIK!, SHOKIN! AMAIZIN! FANBLEEDIN TASTIK! come to mind
I had a wrestle with an alligator, i had a tussle with a whale, I handcuffed lightning, thrown thunder in jail! Only last week i murdered a rock, injured a stone, hospitalised a brick, im so mean i make medicine sick
"If you even dream of beating me you'd better wake up and apologise!" kay:
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Re: Euro-English the new Language!
ffended:
this gonna be kool, kontageous, finally ve r speakin on a level eh! It's offishal, it's not slang, it's the dojy new kwikly lernt english
do it ! before ze germanz get 'ere
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