If you get any of these you are probably a colossal nerd.
1. An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are locked into separate rooms with just a tin can in each of the rooms and given three hours to get it open by any means necessary, for therein is the key.
First out's the engineer, who, when asked how he did it, said that it was fairly easy - he just beat the can against a wall until it reached its failure point, split, and allowed him to ferret out the key.
Second's the physicist, who, when asked how he did it, said he studied the can and analysed it from all directions. Then he simply applied the right force in the right place and the lid flew off, and he was done.
But after three hours, the mathematician's still in there, so the other two go to check on him to see if he's okay. Which, thankfully, he is, but he's just staring at the can and chanting at it, "Assume the can is open... assume the can is open..."
2. Acetic Acid and Muriatic Acid meet in a bar and start talking and Muriatic Acid asks Acetic Acid if they should go to this new club that's just opened in town.
"I'd best not," says Acetic, "I'm fairly weak and I'm a bit worried about getting into fights."
"Don't worry," says Muriatic, "I'll protect you, I'm one of the five strong acids, so just stick with me if it all kicks off."
So off they trot and get in no problem and Acetic and Muriatic are having a whale of a time until Sodium Hydroxide stomps through the door.
"Ulp," says Muriatic Acid as Sodium Hydroxide notices him and they begin to react violently, while Acetic Acid and the others hide under tables and in the toilets and things. When it's all over, Acetic Acid comes out and asks one of the club's staff to contact the police.
"No point," says the staffer, "it's just water passing under the bridge now... ancient history. They'll not do anything."
"Just water???" says Acetic, pointing at the remains of Muriatic and Sodium Hydroxide. "But... that was assault!"
3. A neutron walks into a bar and the barkeep says, "For you, sir, no charge."
4. Two hydrogen atoms are walking down the street when one says to the other, "You know, I feel funny. I think I've lost an electron."
Beaudreaux done come home from college to his home in the Atchafalaya Basin in South Louisiana. As he approached his home in his pirogue, Papa Pierre done seen him and asked:
"Where yo done been gone at, Beaudreaux?"
Beaudreaux done answered " I is been gone to college"
Papa then asked "What you done learn at that fancy city school?"
Beaudreaux said "I had done studied mathematics"
Papa then asked "Say something in mathmatics son."
Beaudreaux proudly sat up and said "Pi R square"
Papa thought "Darn fool, 10 years at school and him still don't know Pie are round, Corn Bread are square"
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Sign Up
Scientific Jokes. (OP)
Quote
Hide
Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
Bookmarks