Muezzin and Minaz: Masters of Might, Magic and Monday Mornings

**Muezzin** · 11-04-2005

Having trouble getting to school on time? Trying to tell people you hate Marmite, but just can't get through? Had enough of that pesky next-door neighbour's dog taking chunks out of your left buttock every morning?

Fear not! Minaz and I, the Masters of Might, Magic and Monday Mornings, are here to help!

How are we masters, you ask? We are masters of might because Minaz goes through protein shakes like popcorn, is in top athletic form and works out everyday.

And I do sit ups.

We are masters of magic because we can watch those 'Behind the Magic' shows with the Masked Magician and work out how the trick is done before they tell us. Eh? Eh?

And why are we the undisputed champions of Monday Mornings?

Because we get up on time, all the time, every time.

So send us your problems and we'll try our utmost to solve them. Even if we make them worse, at least you'll have a laugh.

Let me adjust that slightly - at least WE will have a laugh.

n.b - this thread is in Halal Fun for a reason. If you require serious advice on a topic, go to the Cyber Counselling forum.

**Rabi'ya** · 11-10-2005

Originally Posted by Muezzin

Simple. Eat them. Eat them all.

Sooner or later you'll get sick of them.

Alternatively, they'll kill you.

Either way, it's a sure way to get rid of the addiction.

but this has now started to affect my bank balance

....and the people in tesco ahev started to wonder why i buy so much cucumber and mayo. i get thru 3 cucumbers a week and 2 large jars of mayo!!

Rabi'ya:rose:

**Muezzin** · 11-10-2005

Originally Posted by Rabi'ya

but this has now started to affect my bank balance

....and the people in tesco ahev started to wonder why i buy so much cucumber and mayo. i get thru 3 cucumbers a week and 2 large jars of mayo!!

Rabi'ya:rose:

So that's even more of an incentive to give up - if you don't, those damn sandwiches will eat through your wallet.

**Rabi'ya** · 11-10-2005

I need help, do you think i should cut down first or shall i just give up straight away. i feel i may get withdrawal symptoms if i give up straight away.

do u know of any online counselling service for this kind of problem?

do u think i may have a medical condition? is anyone qualified to diagnose?

Rabi'ya:rose:

**Muezzin** · 11-10-2005

Originally Posted by Rabi'ya

I need help, do you think i should cut down first or shall i just give up straight away. i feel i may get withdrawal symptoms if i give up straight away.

They have patches for that sort of thing.

do u know of any online counselling service for this kind of problem?

Sandwiches Anonymous? ... Dotcom?

do u think i may have a medical condition? is anyone qualified to diagnose?

I dunno, I'd have to do a full-out medical investigation involving raiding your fridge and publishing the contents on the Internet.

**Rabi'ya** · 11-10-2005

Fridge raiding

OMG!!!! lol, then ull see how much junk food is in there...

hmmm, they do patches, really?
ill check out sandwiches anonymous soon

Rabi'ya:rose:

**Ameeratul Layl** · 11-10-2005

Does br minaz have any 'decent' advise? I have 30mins to go for my physics test as well as having to see that boys face again.
I am feeling nervous and xtremely sick.

**Rabi'ya** · 11-10-2005

Just stay calm sis, honestly, just ignore him, there really is nothing else you can do. u will always come across wierdos in life!?! u met me didnt u

lol

seriously tho, just take each day as it comes, i think ur stressed about ur test but inshaAllah it will go ok sis.

make duaa

Rabi'ya:rose:

**Muezzin** · 11-10-2005

Originally Posted by Ameeratul Layl

Does br minaz have any 'decent' advise? I have 30mins to go for my physics test as well as having to see that boys face again.
I am feeling nervous and xtremely sick.

Do your female friends know? Or would they just take the mick (I know my mates would take the mick if I told 'em I felt uncomfortable about a member of the opposite gender staring at me)

**Ameeratul Layl** · 11-10-2005

[QUOTE=Rabi'ya;108927]Just stay calm sis, honestly, just ignore him, there really is nothing else you can do. u will always come across wierdos in life!?! u met me didnt u

lol

Ur not a weirdo...ur a n angel that Allah has bestowed me with!!!

seriously tho, just take each day as it comes, i think ur stressed about ur test but inshaAllah it will go ok sis.

It is the test as well. My stomach is churning!!

**Ameeratul Layl** · 11-10-2005

Originally Posted by Muezzin

Do your female friends know? Or would they just take the mick (I know my mates would take the mick if I told 'em I felt uncomfortable about a member of the opposite gender staring at me)

I dont have any friends....forget female ones!!!

**S_87** · 11-10-2005

Originally Posted by Ameeratul Layl

I have 30mins to go for my physics test as well as having to see that boys face again.
I am feeling nervous and xtremely sick.

sis tell him straight- getting your own way isnt easy.. tell him or just turn around and say whats your problem <-- add in anything you want on that. he`ll

but itll work unless he has serious problems

**Rabi'ya** · 11-10-2005

Originally Posted by Ameeratul Layl

I dont have any friends....forget female ones!!!

what about me?

(just going for lunch, see you when ur back after ur test inshAllah)

Rabi'ya:rose:

**Ameeratul Layl** · 11-10-2005

Originally Posted by amani

sis tell him straight- getting your own way isnt easy.. tell him or just turn around and say whats your problem <-- add in anything you want on that. he`ll

but itll work unless he has serious problems

I CANT sis. I know I show on the forum that im a big mouth....but wen it comes face to face with guys like....him!! I cant do it!!!!

*im feeling sick*

**nafy** · 11-10-2005

Originally Posted by Muezzin

Make dua. Don't eat cheese before you go to bed, it gives you nightmares. Don't drink too much water before you go to bed, it might cause mess.

If the dreams persist, seek better help than our little comedy corner here.

yeh thnx 4 dat bro

lol cheese gives u nitemares?? hehehe...neva herd dat 1 b4 lolz

**minaz** · 11-10-2005

ok Ammeratul Layl, thsi is what you do I've been in your situation before (ok well not exactly but you get my drift)
Anywho tell the teacher the boy is harrasing you - which he bloody well is cuz it's been pasted on my thread for the last 10 pages! Teacher should have a word or move him, if not I'll write a letter to your college on behalf of your parents and make it a formal complaint

**Ameeratul Layl** · 11-10-2005

Originally Posted by minaz

ok Ammeratul Layl, thsi is what you do I've been in your situation before (ok well not exactly but you get my drift)
Anywho tell the teacher the boy is harrasing you - which he bloody well is cuz it's been pasted on my thread for the last 10 pages! Teacher should have a word or move him, if not I'll write a letter to your college on behalf of your parents and make it a formal complaint

not sure. but ill TRY!!! No promises bro.

p.s: sorry for messing up 10 pages of ur thread.

**Bittersteel** · 11-10-2005

Ameeratul just call the fatwa police.They will take care of everything. pleased - Muezzin and Minaz: Masters of Might, Magic and Monday Mornings

**minaz** · 11-10-2005

anyone had any problems with the Fatwa police?

**Ameeratul Layl** · 11-11-2005

Brothers and sisters,

I have some good news but firstly I would like to thank you all for being there wen I needed you!!!

You have all been ace and TRIED to give me the correct advise. I hope Allah grants u ALL jannah....dont forget me though!!

laying:
THE STORY:
Anyway, my physics teacher (female) came up to me in class and gave me my Assigment back. I did rather well. MasHaLLAH.
Anyway, she looked at my face and sed I looked a bit 'drained.' I couldnt help myself and BURST out crying. I asked her if I cud go to the washroom. She stopped me as I got out the door....BALGH BLAGH.:furious:

Eventually, she tuk me into another room. I told her everything (I cant believe I poured my heart out to her....I usually keep things bottled). She was really sweet and went on saying that:' u arent a flirty girl, u are just pretty (yeah right) and its typical of a boy to look at a girl who is attractive (she must have sed that about 10 times).U are never loud in the class and never try to attract attention. U hav done nothing wrong.....' blagh blagh.laying:

Al hamdullilah, we made a little agreement that she will not mention anything to anyone and she will keep an eye on him. Wahoo!!!:rant:

Today, I am felling over the moon AND the stars. She is def. one person who is WORTH calling a teacher!!!!:cool2:

Allah ma3akum