Islamic Etiquette

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Assalamu Alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakaatuh,

Etiquette of visiting the Graveyard

Question:

If I want to visit my father’s grave, what should I do? What is the etiquette of visiting graveyards? Are there any things I should pay attention to?

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

It is prescribed to visit graves in order to learn a lesson from that and to remember the Hereafter. That is subject to the condition that one does not say anything that will anger the Lord, such as calling upon the one who is buried or seeking his help instead of Allaah, or praising him and saying that he is for certain in Paradise, etc.

The purpose of visiting the graves is twofold:

(a) The visitor benefits from remembering death and the dead, remembering that their destiny will be either Paradise or Hell. This is the primary purpose of the visit.

(b) The deceased also benefits and is treated kindly by the visitor greeting him with salaams, making du’aa’ for him, praying for forgiveness for him. This applies only to Muslims. Among the du’aa’s that may be recited are:

“Assalaamu ‘alaykum ahl al-diyaar min al-mu’mineen wa’l-Muslimeen, in sha Allaah bikum laahiqoon, as’al Allaaha lana wa lakum al-‘aafiyah (peace be upon you O people of the dwellings, believers and Muslims, In sha Allaah we will join you, I ask Allaah to keep us and you safe and sound).”

It is permissible to raise the hands when reciting this du’aa’, because of the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah who said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) went out one night, and I sent Bareerah to follow him and see where he went. She said, ‘He went towards Baqee’ al-Gharqad [the graveyard in Madeenah], and he stood at the bottom of al-Baqee’ and raised his hands, then he went away.’ Bareerah came back to me and told me, and when morning came I asked him about it. I said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, where did you go out to last night? He said, ‘I was sent to the people of al-Baqee’, to pray for them.’”

But you should not face the grave when making du’aa’ for them; rather you should face the direction of the Ka’bah, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade prayer (salaah) facing graves, and du’aa’ is the heart and soul of salaah, as is well known, and is subject to the same rulings. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Du’aa’ is worship” then he recited the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “And your Lord said: “Invoke Me [i.e. believe in My Oneness (Islamic Monotheism) and ask Me for anything] I will respond to your (invocation).” [Ghaafir 40:60]

You should not walk between the graves of the Muslims wearing your shoes. It was narrated that ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘If I were to walk on hot coals or on a sword, or if I were to mend my shoes using my feet, that would be better for me than if I were to walk on the grave of a Muslim. And it makes no difference to me if I were to relieve myself in the midst of the graves or in the middle of the market-place [i.e., both are equally bad].’” (Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 1567)

We ask Allaah, the Most High, the Omnipotent, to have mercy upon our dead and the deceased Muslims.



Adapted from Mukhtasar Ahkaam al-Janaa’iz by al-Albaani

Source > http://www.islamqa.com/index.php?ref=14287&ln=eng


WaAlaykumus Salaam Warahmatullahi Wabarakaatuh

Assalamu Alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakaatuh,

Etiquette for Visiting the Sick
Khutbah by 'Abdul-Hameed Ad-Daaghistaani

Imam, Makkah, KSA
Translated by Hazem Ragab

O Muslims! Fear Allah, and seek the help of your Creator in all matters. Seek guidance from the way of your Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, for he was the most kind and beneficial person to others. He kept strong ties with people, especially when they were afflicted with illness or close to death.. Being busy with running the affairs of the Islaamic state did not stop him from visiting the sick, especially those with whom he had ties of kinship, despite the fact that he had a lot of relatives and belonged to a large tribe.
People loved him dearly and he was always surrounded by many people, regardless of whether he spoke or kept quiet; he remembered Allah, worshipped Him abundantly and was a brave fighter.

The Messenger of Allah sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam has taught us that:

"The rights of a Muslim upon his fellow Muslim are: that he answers his salutation, or Salaam, when he is saluted, he visits him when he is sick, he follows his funeral when he dies, he accepts his invitation (to food) when he invites him, and he says the relevant corresponding supplications when he sneezes." (Bukhari & Muslim)

It is evident from this Hadeeth that it is not necessary that one knows the person in question; rather, it is enough that he is a Muslim for him to have these rights. This is because the Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam began with: "The rights of a Muslim upon his fellow Muslim..."
Therefore, if there is a relationship added to the fact that the person in question is Muslim, such as being a neighbour, relative or brother, then this renders the right even greater. In fact, its greatness is directly proportional to the proximity of the bond between the two people.

In another Hadeeth, Al-Baraa' Ibn 'Aazib, may Allah be pleased with him, said:

"The Messenger of Allah sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam commanded us: "To visit the sick, to follow the funeral processions, to say the relevant supplications upon sneezing, to fulfil one's oaths, to support the oppressed, to accept invitations (to food) and to spread the salutation of Salaam." (Bukhari & Muslim)

One who visits the sick enjoys the fruits of Paradise until he returns home. The Messenger of Allah sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam said:

"The Muslim will continue to be in the Khurfa of Paradise until he comes returns (home)."

So somebody asked him: "O Messenger of Allah! What is the Khurfa of Paradise?"

He replied: "They are gardens of fruits." (Muslim)

As for the virtues of visiting the sick, 'Ali ibn Abu Taalib, may Allah be pleased with him, who was the cousin of the Messenger of Allah sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam reported that the Messenger of Allah sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam said: "No Muslim visits another Muslim (at the time of sickness) in the morning, except that seventy thousand angels will (ask Allah to) send peace upon him until that evening. And if he were to visit him in the evening, then seventy thousand angels will (ask Allah to) send peace upon him until the next morning, and he will have fruits of Paradise (awaiting him)." (Tirmidhi)

It is from the etiquettes of visiting the sick to rush to visit him as soon as he becomes sick, as it is understood from this saying of the Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam.

However, there are Ahaadeeth that state that one should visit the sick after three days of sickness, as it is reported that the Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam did not use to visit the sick until three days had passed. (Ibn Maajah & Bayhaqi)

Therefore, if the illness is serious or dangerous in nature, such that one fears the loss of life of the sick person, and it is known that he will not be harmed or bothered by being visited immediately, then the visit can take place immediately. But if the sickness is a light one, then the visit should take place after three days.

It is from the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam that the duration of visiting the sick should be short, especially if the patient is weak or if there are too many visitors, or if the place where he is resting is small. The Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam said: "Make your visits short, people will love you more." (Al-Haakim)

The best gift for the sick is that one supplicates for him upon entering upon him, and not that one secretly provides him with things that have been forbidden by the doctors, like certain foods or drinks, especially if they are Haraam, such as cigarettes.

It is recommended for the visitor to follow the example of the Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam when visiting the sick, such as stroking the sick person with one's right hand whilst saying: "O Allah! Lord of Mankind! Take away this pain. O Allah! Cure him. You are the All-Curer: there is no remedy other than Yours, a remedy that never leaves the diseases." (Bukhari & Muslim)

Or one can say seven times: "I ask Allah the Exalted, the Lord of the Great Throne, to heal you."

Ibn 'Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him, reported that the Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam said: "Whoever visits a sick person whose death is not approaching, and says seven times: 'I ask Allah the Exalted, the Lord of the Great Throne, to heal you.' Then Allah will heal him. (Al-Haakim)

Another of the greatest gifts that one can give to the sick is the advice of the Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, as reported by 'Uthmaan Ibn Abi Al-'Aas, may Allah be pleased with him, that he came to the Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam complaining about pain in his body, so he sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam advised him to: "Place your hand where it hurts on your body and say, 'Bismillaah' thrice, then say seven times, 'I seek refuge in Allah and in His power from the evil of what I find and of what I guard against.'" (Muslim)

It reflects fine manners and love for the sick when one asks his family about his condition. When 'Ali ibn Abu Taalib, may Allah be pleased with him, came out from the room of the Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam at the time of his sickness, and people asked him about the condition of the Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam, he replied: "By the will of Allah, he will be better by morning."

The Messenger of Allah sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam said: "Allah will say on the Day of Judgment (to a person): 'O son of Aadam! I was sick and you did not visit Me!' So the person will reply: 'O my Lord! How could I have visited You, while You are the Lord of the worlds?' So He will say: 'Did you not know that My servant, so and so, was sick, yet you did not visit him? Did you not know that if you had visited him, you would have found Me with him?'"(Muslim).

It is also recommended that the visitor sits beside the head of the sick person, and that he makes encouraging remarks, giving him hope of speedy recovery and prolonged life. The Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam said: "If you visit a sick person, then try to put him at ease by giving him hope (of prolonged life), for it does not change anything, but relaxes (and comforts) him." (Ibn Maajah & Tirmidhi)

It should be said to the sick person: "Do not worry. It (i.e., the sickness) will be a purification (for you), Allah willing." (Bukhari)

Also, one should ask the sick person to supplicate for him, as the Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam said: "If you enter upon a sick person, then ask him to supplicate for you, for his supplication is like the supplications of the angels." (Ibn Maajah)

It is commendable to remind him of the phrase: 'Laa illaaha illa Allah' (i.e., there is nothing worthy of worship except Allah) if he is on his death bed, as the Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam said: "Have the one facing death repeat after you 'Laa Ilaaha illa Allah', at the moments of death." (Muslim)

He also said: "He whose last words before death are 'Laa Ilaaha illa Allah', Allah will grant him paradise." (Abu Daawood)

WaAlaykumus Salaam Warahmatullahi Wabarakaatuh



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Assalamu Alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakaatuh

Etiquettes of Speech According to Sunnah

Abu Hurayrah, may Allaah be pleased with him, reported: “I heard the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, saying: “A person utters a word thoughtlessly (i.e., without thinking about whether it is good or evil) and as a result, will plummet into the fire of Hell deeper than the distance between the east and the west.” [Al-Bukhaari & Muslim]

Abu Hurayrah, may Allaah be pleased with him, reported that the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: “A man may utter a word pleasing to Allaah without considering it of any significance, but for which Allaah elevates his ranks (in Paradise); another one may speak a word displeasing to Allaah without considering it of any importance, but for which he would be plummeted into Hell.” [Al-Bukhaari]

Ibn Mas’ood, may Allaah be pleased with him: “That which requires imprisonment the most is one’s tongue.”

`Adiyy bin Haatim, may Allaah be pleased with him, reported the Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam as saying: “Allaah will surely speak to every one of you without an interpreter. He (i.e., the one being spoken to) will look to his right and see nothing but (deeds) which he had done, and will look to his left and see nothing but (deeds) which he had done. Then he will look in front of him and will find nothing except the Hellfire facing him. So protect (yourselves) from the Fire, even if by giving in charity half a date, and if you cannot find that, then with a kind word.” [Al-Bukhaari & Muslim]

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WaAlaykumus Salaam Warahmatullah