I am 17, and a Muslim brother, and I get angry at my mother often, or at my paraprofessional in school, or at other people....when I get angry, I find it hard to control myself....for a few years, in middle school and the 9th grade, I would get violent with my mother and siblings, and this led to me being hospitalized multiple times and once going to temporary jail.....anger has been replaced with panic attacks, but sadly, my anger seems to be resurfacing, and today I hollered at my paraprofessional and at my mother, and when I spilled water I told my mom to clean it because we had had an argument, and I said, "you need to learn your place," I am also very impulsive, and take medications for it, as I have ADHD and OCD.......what should i do?
salam,
Mustaa
oh, and
me and my mother had an argument at school because i had a panic attack at school which was caused by my parapro thinking i was "feigning illness" when i said i was dizzy, and took tylenol, and i ended up arguing with him, and my mom promised to yell at the school administration, but then took her statement back when I argued with her over getting a drink when we were outside in the car after shopping
one of my target behaviors in special ed is not "feigning illness" and so I was afraid of losing points
Abû Hurayrah relates that a man said to the Prophet : “Counsel me.” The Prophet said: “Do not get angry.” The man repeated his request many times, but the Prophet kept saying: “Do not get angry.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî ]
Several Cures for Anger from the Sunnah
1. To say "Audhu billahi minashaytan nirajim." [Bukhari, Muslim]
2. If he is standing, then he should sit. If the anger fails to subside, then he should lie down. [Abu Dawood]
3. A person should remain silent. [Imam Ahmad]
4. Make wudhu. [Abu Dawood]
5. Make ghusl [Abu Nuaim]
(Summary of 'Jami'ul Uloom waal Hikam fi sharhi khamsina haditham min jawa mi'il kaleem' by ibn Rajab)
Anger is a form of weakness. I think people feel invincible when they're angry though, like that they can control anyone or do anything, but at the end of the day it's really about learning to control yourself and changing the situation at hand into a positive one.
You have to find the root of your anger. Why do you get impatient with your mom? Why do you disrespect her? What can you do to make it different? What kind of anger do you have?
If you're the type that feels they have to let go of energy such as yelling, hitting, etc, while they are angry, then maybe you should go out for a run or let out your energy in a healthier way. If your anger stems from pain, then you should give yourself time to cry. My point is, find the root cause of your anger and the type and then there's ways to alleviate it.
Part of the issue may also be gut problems because there is a huge link between the gut (what we eat) and our brain (perceptions, thought and feelings etc)
Well, one part of it is due to our serotonin ( happy hormone ) which is made in the gut and a lot of the foods we eat today, and not just the foods we eat but the way we eat them, distrupt the function of our gut and therefore effect the way we feel. Liver health, good bowel health, gut health are extremely important for a healthy mind. And as a Muslim, I believe we have been commanded to eat the halal and pure. Not only the halal but also the pure/wholesome food.
People with ADHD shouldn't eat processed foods, especially food that is colored. A lot of food has MSG in it as well, which should be avoided. Basically, try eating anything that is home cooked from fresh food, not chemicals.
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: “Counsel me.” The Prophet
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