Inshallah if anyone could help me out with this problem I will be very greatful. The problem is a very complicated one and is causing me a great deal of stress. My brother has been married for almost two years now to a very beautiful girl who is now 21 years old. Since our parents live in my home country, my brother and I are the only two of my family members here in the United States. So we are very close. Anyways, I used to visit his house about once every week to hang out and play with my little nephew. Due to the nature of his job my brother has is gone for about a week every month due to traveling, and since he didn't want to leave his wife and baby home alone he asked me to stay with them while he is gone. I was happy to help him out and things were going smoothly until a few months ago. One day when I was at my brothers house and he was away I was writting a term paper for one of my university classes when my brothers wife tried to seduce me. Anyways I refused her advances but she kept trying to seduce me many times after that. Even when she is breast feeding her baby she will expose her breasts infront of me to gage my reaction. I told my brother that I can no longer stay at his house and he wanted to know why so I gave him a fake excuse. But now all I can think about is what happened there at his house. The problem is that I want to tell my brother about this but I'm afraid that if I do he will divorce her and I don't want to cause that to happen. Also, my brother really loves his wife and thinks that she can't do any wrong.
well firstl i advise you not to go into the house without your brother there
dont even stay in the room without your bro there
infact dont talk to her unless absolutely necessary
because you are not her mahram being free with her no matter how close you and your brother is, is simply not permissible . her attitude was also a very shameful one and a total lack of modesty.
now secondly we need to know why she did this.
so youll need to talk to her to see if she still aknowledges what she did.
i dont know if you should tell your bro if she is sorry for what she did? he has a right to know but this may break the marriage?
but just incase...
be prepared that due to shock he may not believe you and if he does some anger (even though you havent done wrong) may be taken out to you
also be prepared that you sister in law may try to deny what you are saying
this will dampen your relationship a lot so dont let it get you down.
The prophet said the "The brother in law is death"....(I can't remember the full hadiths forgive me). In the first last you shouldn't be alone with the sister.
I'd say don't tell your brother...you don't want to split to married couples up...just keep away.....and read hadits on this issue...it's a very dangours place to be in. Allah Knows Best.
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): "Beware of entering upon women." A man of the Ansaar asked, "O Messenger of Allaah, what do you think about the brother-in-law?" He said, "The brother-in-law is death." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath al-Baari, 9/330)
Salaam,
first of all mashallah for resisting
secondly none of us are scholars so it may be wise to seek the advice of someone learned who might have some experience in dealing with issues like this- try www.askimam.com
lastly i think the person above is right you dont want to destroy your reputation or you're family if she denies that she ever did such a thing, keep quiet for now make sure youre never alone with her again and generally keep a low profile as this might get her attention away.
You've done well in staying strong so far-keep it up this test won't last for ever inshallah.
I think you should tell your brother the truth ...... she wanted to seduce you ... she might have tried to seduce other men as well ...... tell your brother.
Tell him, even if you refuse her advances she will look for someone else, there is something wrong in the marriage that needs to desperetly be talked about between the two. You may well save her the crime of zina if you tell your brother now. May Allah (SWT) give you the strength and emaan against such a test. And remember the stroy of Yusuf (as).
Tell him cause if it isnt you she will go with someone else.
"Lo! the Hour is surely coming, there is no doubt thereof; yet most of mankind believe not." (Al-Ghafir:59)
Tell him, even if you refuse her advances she will look for someone else, there is something wrong in the marriage that needs to desperetly be talked about between the two. You may well save her the crime of zina if you tell your brother now. May Allah (SWT) give you the strength and emaan against such a test. And remember the stroy of Yusuf (as).
Tell him cause if it isnt you she will go with someone else.
The thing is I think I had a role in this since I let myself get too close to her. Sometimes we would talk when my brother was around and also when he wasn't around. I never thought of her in that way but I guess I should have been careful because she grew attached to me. So I don't really blame her. I blame myself. Also, I have to keep in mind that if I tell my brother he might divorce her and what kind of effect would that have on my baby nephew?
The thing is I think I had a role in this since I let myself get too close to her. Sometimes we would talk when my brother was around and also when he wasn't around. I never thought of her in that way but I guess I should have been careful because she grew attached to me. So I don't really blame her. I blame myself. Also, I have to keep in mind that if I tell my brother he might divorce her and what kind of effect would that have on my baby nephew?
but what if she seduced another man and succeded? when your brother finds out and asks did you ever think she would do such a thing? did she ever try to seduce you? well, what are you gonna answer then? If she tried to seduce you and failed, she might want to seduce someone else and succeed.
First off i believe you should tell your brother what happend no matter what the reaction could be because there must be trust between you and your brother and between him and his wife. she obviously cant contain herself and your brother needs to know this because she couldve done it to anyone else and cheated on your bro.
alhemdulilah that u stopped it before anything really serious could have happend. but i think that ur brother should know because no one is perfect and she isnt either he needs to realize that shes gonna need more than second hand supervision. for now i think that u should stay away from her and it could get ugly meaning she could turn it around on u.
inshallah that wont happen. but keep the trust between you and your brother strong and let him discuss this problem with his wife to strengthen thier trust as well.
i believe that she might have felt lonely or something and she just needs her husband to be around her more.
inshallah this will all turn out for the best
i will make dua for u and may Allah make this easier on both you and your brother ameen.
Yes, i too think that you should tell your brother. With hikmah of course. Tell him, she may have been drunk or something. It is unfair on your brother that she do something like that, and he should be warned, because if that is what she is doing to someone he trusts, what would she be doing with someone he doesnt trust? Keep away from her, she is a devil :brother: and get the matter sorted out, using as much intellect as possible.
Regards
Last edited by Sheikh Haroon; 04-13-2005 at 10:34 AM.
"The brelvis cry for the love of the Prophet,
The tablighis cry for dawah,
The salafis cry about aqeedah,
The ikhwan al muslimeen (egypt) cry for jihad,
The ikhwan al muslimeen (pakistan) cry for zikr,
The hizb ut tahrir cry for khilaafah,
The shia cry for 'Ali (ra),
a person is allowed to lie for one reason, to bring together two people for the sake of Allah.
If a person hides another persons sin Allah will hide your sins on the day of judgement
there is probably more blame on your brother for leaving his wife. so no it is not your fault nor hers but possibly more of the brothers. He should be taking his family with him if hes going to be away for a week or two.
A father and husband are like shephards over their flock of sheep. you can't put someone else in charge and expect nothing to go wrong.
Member of - LI's MTL™crew (Marriage thread lovers)-
I can't beleive brothers and sister are advicing brother Dawood to tell his brother what happened. Can you not see these to couples are married. They have a kid. Brother Dawood was in the wrong by been alone with the sister. And yes shaydan was the third person temptation took place. Have mercy brothers and sister. Brother Dawood take this up with a shaykh Insha Allah who will give you a much more wiser answer then we are giving. May Allah forgive me for that whever wrong I said.
Dawood take this up with a shaykh Insha Allah who will give you a much more wiser answer then we are giving.
Indeed, good advice MashaAllah and you if dont feel comfortable visiting a sheikh, there are many sites on the internet which provide this service, you can remain anonymous.
Brother you should never have beem in the same room as this sister, whenever there is a male and female in the same room Shaytan is the third person among those two. The Prophet (saw) did not even allow his wife Aisha(ra) to be alone withher own father Abu Bakr(ra).
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Sign Up
Hide
Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
Bookmarks