Some causes of divorce.

the opinions are like common though... but true both husbans wife need to compromise ...

ma'salamah

This may be related...

format_quote Originally Posted by Ansar Al-'Adl

Question: If a woman wants a khul` separation because of her husband’s neglect and bad treatment, and he refuses to grant her request, can the judge force him to grant her a khul`?

Answered by Sheikh Hânî al-Jubayr, judge at the Jeddah Supreme Court

A khul` separation takes place by agreement between the husband and the wife. However, if a woman’s life with her husband becomes unbearable for some reason and her husband refuses to divorce her willingly or accept a khul` resolution, she may take her case before a judge who could terminate their marriage contract if he thinks there are valid reasons to justify it.

In case the husband leaves his wife for a long time and the wife suffers from his absence on account of lack of financial support or lack of fulfillment of her physical needs, she may request the judge to terminate her marriage.

Allah says: “For those who take an oath for abstention from their wives; a waiting for four months is ordained; if then they return, Allah is oft-forgiving, most merciful. But if their intention is firm for divorce, Allah hears and knows all things.” [Sûrah al-Baqarah: 226-227].

In this case, the judge will summon the husband to attend the court and offer him a choice whether to divorce his wife or fulfill his marriage obligations. In case he refuses to do either, the judge will nullify the marriage.

And

From an answer by Shaykh Muhammad ibn Sâlih Al-Munajjid
The evidence for that from the Sunnah is that the wife of Thaabit ibn Qays ibn Shammaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I do not find any fault with Thaabit ibn Qays in his character or his religious commitment, but I do not want to commit any act of kufr after becoming a Muslim.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to her, “Will you give back his garden?” Because he had given her a garden as her mahr. She said, “Yes.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to Thaabit: “Take back your garden, and divorce her.”

(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5273).

From this case the scholars understood that if a woman cannot stay with her husband, then the judge should ask him to divorce her by khula’; indeed he should order him to do so.

And

Question: Is it possible for the wife to get a khula even if the husband will not agree to it? Can you mention some reasons ?.

Answered by Shaykh ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Jibreen

If a woman dislikes her husband’s treatment of her – for example, he is over-strict, hot-tempered or easily-provoked, or gets angry a lot, or criticizes her and rebukes her for the slightest mistake or shortcoming, then she has the right of khula’ [female-instigated divorce].

If she dislikes his physical appearance because of some deformity or ugliness, or because one of his faculties is missing, she has the right of khula’.

If he is lacking in religious commitment – for example, he doesn’t pray, or neglects to pray in jamaa’ah, or does not fast in Ramadaan without a proper excuse, or he goes to parties where haraam things are done, such as fornication, drinking alcohol and listening to singing and musical instruments, etc. – she has the right of khula’.

If he deprives of her of her rights of spending on her maintenance, clothing and other essential needs, when he is able to provide these things, then she has the right to ask for khula’.

If he does not give her her conjugal rights and thus keep her chaste because he is impotent (i.e. unable to have intercourse), or because he does not like her, or he prefers someone else, or he is unfair in the division of his time [i.e., among co-wives], then she has the right to ask for khula’.

And Allaah knows best.

And

IslamToday Fatwa Committee
The judge is not supposed to force a woman to stay in an abusive marriage. If a judge makes such a decision, then she should appeal it.

If her returning to her husband's house will put her into danger, she does not have to return to his home. She is never required to subject herself to abuse or to danger. However, she will not be legally divorced until either the husband divorces her or accepts her khul`, or until she has her marriage annulled by either the judge or the Muslim political authority.

And Allah knows best.

Also relevant hadeeth:

Bareerah’s husband was a man named Mugheeth. When Bareerah came to the Prophet for a divorce, Mugheeth came running behind Bareerah and weeping with his tears flowing down his beard. The Prophet said to ‘Abbaas, “O Abbas, are you not astonished at the love of Mugheeth for Bareerah and hatred of Bareerah for Mugheeth?” The Prophet P said to Bareerah, “Why don’t you return to him?” She said, “O Messenger of Allah, are you commading me to do so?” He said, “No I only intercede for him”. She said, “Then I am not in need of him.” (Sahih Bukhari)

From what I've seen (through my friends experiences)..

They've been loving each other for years before marrying .... but when they got the first child - Divorce.... I wonder why? Is it because of the child OR they love each others TOO LONG before marriage ... and when they got 'IT' (ehemmm!!!) they ceased to love more....

format_quote Originally Posted by c'est*moi

Why doesn't it say if a husband doesn't obey his wife!

I'm not sure if you're referring to any specific quote posted so far, but from the Islamic perspective the husband is the guardian and democratic leader of the household. The husband and wife are supposed to consult and cooperate with eachother in making decisions. A woman must obey her husband but the husband is also required to cooperate with his wife and consult her as the wife has greater standing over the children [see the immense status of the mother in islam].

Concerning leadership in the family, Shaykh Abdullah Ibn Bayyah writes:

Islamic Law likes to have all matters clearly defined. The Prophet said: “Three people should not go fourth without appointing one of them to be their leader.” [Sunan al-Bayhaqî (9/359) and Musannaf `Abd al-Razzâq (4/58)] This means that there should be some delineation of responsibility.

The family has a leader appointed for it, and this leader is the husband. This does not mean, however, that he can just do as he pleases, say what he pleases, and bark orders left and right. Quite the contrary, the husband and wife have to manage the household by way of mutual consultation. Allah commands them to engage in consultation in matters of weaning: “If they both decide on weaning, by mutual consent, and after due consultation, there is no blame on them.” [Sûrah al-Baqarah: 233]

This is a matter that most acutely affects them both. How then should it be for a matter that has its greatest effect upon the woman?

In brief, if the husband commands his wife to do something that is not contrary to Islamic Law, then she should obey him. However, it is not permissible for him to order her to do something that will be detrimental to her or cause her to lose out on something good. If, on the other hand, her work causes problems like excessive mixing with men or has other negative consequences, then he is within his rights to tell her not to wok and she should comply with what he says. This is in accordance with the view of the majority of scholars. [SOURCE]

Shaykh Nizâr Ash-Shu'aybî categorizes the types of obedience to one's husband into four categories. The first is obedience in regards to something obligated by Islam. Anyone who leaves this would be sinful, regardless of who they are.
The second category involves obedience to one's husband in a matter that will either benefit him or harm him, and this is required for her unless she has an excuse.
The third category involves being obedient to him in something that relates to her personal affairs, whether her wealth, her friends, etc. Here she does not have to obey him, it is entirely up to her; she should consider the benefits and harms and act accordingly.
The fourth category involves obedience to him in something that is sinful, and here she should never obey him no matter what he says. [SOURCE]

Evidently, the first and fourth category are not specific to a marital relationship at all.

For those who would argue that the husband and wife should be identical in terms of leadership and their role in the family, they need to come to terms with the fact that modern psychology and medicine (not to mention common sense!) have conclusively debunked the notion that men and women are identical in their skills and abilities. The role of the husband and wife is complimentary, equitable and balanced, not identical.

format_quote Originally Posted by Tania

The child should make them to be more close, bound.

I've ask them about the "child", wives want to keep the child and the fathers are OK just maintaining the child .... because the think they can have child with future wife.....

maybe men are more superficial and care more about looks to the extent that it might ruin the marriage, whereas women arent as obsessed with looks, so in his opinion, the husband not dressing up isnt something that is likely to lead to divorce?

just a theory... in other words, youre blowing this out of proportion... its not that much of a big deal!

divorces occur since sometimes, love is a trap. you can see it's lights, but not it's shadows.

about selfishness? yes, true. mostly one of the couples thought that they knew more about everything.

the wise are wise only because they love.
the fool are fools only because they think they understand love.