The righteous wife is the one whom the messenger of Allaah, salallahu alaihi wa salam, advised should be obtained from the beginning. As aboo hurayrah, radiyallaahu anhu, narrated from the prophet, salallaahu alaihi wa salam, that he said,
"A woman is married for four reasons: for her wealth; for her lineage; for her beeauty; and for her religion (deen). So marry the one who is good in her religion (deen) - may your hands be covered in dust."
(reported by al-bukhaaree and muslim)
Attributes of the righteous wife - part 1 of 2
1. Devotion and obedience to Allaah, the Most High, such that she fulfils His rights, such as prayer, fasting, chastity, covering herself, withholding her gaze and so on.
2. Obedience to her husband in that which does not involve disobedience to Allaah, the Most High, such that she fulfils his rights completely.
3. That she guards and preserves herself and her honour, in the absence of her husband, from the hand of anyone wishing to touch her, the eye of anyone to look upon her, the ear of anyone wishing to listen to her.
Likewise that she preserves her husbands children, home and wealth. Allaah, the Most High, says:
“Therefore the righteous women are obedient to Allaah and their husbands, and guard that which Allaah has ordered them to guard (their chastity and their husbands property) in the absence of their husbands.” surah an-nisaa’ 4:34.
The prophet, salallaahu alaihi wa salam said, ‘if a woman prays her five (daily prayers), fasts her month (i.e. ramadaan), guards her private parts, and obeys her husband, it will be said to her, ‘enter paradise through whichever of the gates of paradise you wish.” [1]
4. Serving her husband. First of all by carrying out what is required in his house, such as bringing up and educating the children, preparing the meals and the beds and so on.
From husayn ibn mihsann who said that my paternal aunt said, “I came to Allah’s messenger, salallaahu alaihi wa salam for some need, so he asked, ‘you there! are you married?’ I replied, ‘yes.’ he then asked how are you towards your husband?’ she responded, ‘I do not fall short in his service except with regard to what I am unable to do.’ he said, ‘then look to your standing with him, for indeed he is your paradise and your fire.’” [2]
Here is an example of how asmaa’ bint abee bakr, radiyallahu anhumaa, served her husband. she said “az-zubayr married me and he did not have any property or slaves or anything upon the earth except for a camel which drew water from the well and his horse. so I used to feed his horse, draw the water, stitch his water bucket, and prepare the dough, but I was not proficient in baking bread – so ladies from the ansaar who were my neighbours and were honourable used to bake the bread for me. I also used to carry the date stones upon my head, from the land given to az-zubayr by Allah’s messenger, salallahu alaihi wa salam, and a group of the ansaar were with him. so he called me and said, ‘ikh, ikh.’ [3] in order to carry me behind him upon the camel. but I felt shy to proceed along with the men, and I thought of az-zubayr and his sense of jealousy, and he was one of the most jealous of the people. so Allah’s messenger, salallahi alaihi wa salam, saw my shyness and so passed on. so I came to az-zubayr and said, ‘Allah’s messenger salallahu alaihi wa salam, met me while I was carrying the date stones upon my head and with him were a group of his companions. he caused his riding camel to kneel, but I felt shy and remembered your sense of jealousy.’ so he said, ‘by Allaah your having to carry the date stones is harder upon me than that you should ride along with him.’” she said, “then later on aboo bakr sent me a servant to look after the horse, so it was as if he had set me free.” [4]
The scholars differ with regard to the ruling about women serving her husband. shaykul-islaam ibn taymiyyah said, the scholars differed about whether she has to serve her husband with regard to the like of household bedding preparing food and drinks, baking the bread, grinding the corn, and providing food for his slaves and cattle – such as providing fodder for his riding beast and so on.
“Some of them say: it is not obligatory for her to serve him – and this is a weak saying, like the weakness of the saying that it is not obligatory upon her to live together with him and have intercourse with him! however what is correct is that it is obligatory to serve him, since the husband is her master according to the book of Allaah, and she is captive with him according to the Sunnah of the prophet, salallaahu alaihi wa salam, [5] and the captive and the slave have to serve – and this is something known.
...the saying of Allaah, the Most High,
“Therefore the righteous women are obedient to Allaah and their husbands, and guard that which Allaah has ordered them to guard (their chastity and their husbands property) in the absence of their husbands.” surah an-nisaa 4:34
“This aayah shows that it is obligatory upon her to serve her husband unrestrictedly, including: serving him, travelling along with him, making herself available to him, and so on – just as it is obligatory to obey the parents, since the obedience due from her to the parents transfers to the husband.” [6]
5. Keeping the husbands secrets. Particularly what occurs between him and her in private – with regard to sexual matters and the private affairs within the marriage. disclosing the husbands secrets will hurt him and anger him and this contradicts obedience to him and seeking to please him. furthermore preserving his secrets is one of the duties of the righteous and obedient women, as described in the saying of Allaah,
“Guarding that which (Allaah has commanded them to guard) in the absence of their husbands,” surah an-nisaa 4:34
Part of their guarding what they are to guard in the absence of their husbands is that they should not broadcast their secrets.
From asmaa bint yazeed, radiyallahu anhaa, who said that she was in the company of Allah’s messenger, salallahu alaihi wa salam, and the men and women were sitting, and he, salallaahu alaihi wa salam, said, “perhaps a man mentions that which he did with his wife, and perhaps a woman informs of what she does with her husband?!” so the people were silent, so I said, “yes, by Allaah, o messenger of Allaah! the women certainly do that, and the men certainly do that.” he, salallahu alaihi wa salam, said, “then do not do so, since that is just like a male devil meeting a female devil upon the way, and he has intercourse with her while the people are watching.” [7]
6. She should appear before the husband in the best appearance, such that if he looks at her it pleases him.
aboo hurayrah, radiyallahu anhu, narrates the messenger of Allaah, sallaahu alaihi wa salam, was asked, “ which of the women is the best?” he replied, “ the one who gives him [8] pleasure when he looks; [9] obeys him when he orders; and does not go against his wishes with regard to herself or her wealth by doing that which he dislikes.” [10]
[1] saheeh due to supporting narrations as has preceeded.
[2] reported by al-hakim (2/189) and others, he declared it saheeh and adh-dhahaabee agreed; and shaykh al-albaaneewith them in aadaabuz-zifaaf (p.285).
[3] a word said to make the camel kneel down.
[4] reported by al-bukhaaree (eng. transl. 7/111/no.151) and muslim (eng. transl. 3/1190/no. 5417) and others.
[5] as the messenger of Allaah, salallahu alaihi wa salam, said in the sermon of the farewell pilgrimage, ”...treat your women well, for they are captives with you.” reported with this wording by at-tirmidhee(no. 1163) and he said, “hasan saheeh.” and ibn maajah (no. 1851). declared strong by al-albaanee in irwaa’ul ghaleel(7/52).
The very article you quote froim in-facts supports what I am saying.
"Qanit means one who is devoted to someone and out of love and devotion obeys him or her. Outside of the present verse the word in its various forms, occurs seven times and is used of both men and women. In six out of these seven places, the object of devotion and obedience is understood to be God, in one place it is God and His Messenger..."
This makes it clear that the meaning of 'qanit' is with regards to Holy devotion - towards Allah.
The article is pointing out how the word has been used in various places to mean what you said it means, yes, but this does not mean it MUST mean that in every single place it has been used. The very next line of what you quoted reads: For this reason qanitat may simply mean "devoted to God". In view of the context, the idea of devotion and obedience to the husband may also be read into the word.
I am fully open to the possibility that it refers to obedience to Allaah, just as it could be referring to the husband as has been established by evidence.
-----
Since the discussion of this topic has taken place in three threads, I have moved some posts into the one in which it first started.
Looking through this thread, I have noticed that certain people call ahadeeth "hearsay" and disregard them as though nothing from what Muhammad taught us has been delivered to us. When examining hadeeth, we rely upon people devoting their entire lives to researching and classifying hadeeth into trustworthy and untrustworthy sources; in fact, there is a whole science of hadeeth in Islam and if we are to study our religion in the correct manner, we must take from both the Qur'an and the Sunnah. This is something which both of them command.
Regarding the topic at hand; I hope to make it clear that nobody is saying that a woman must obey her husband in the same way that she obeys Allaah. She has rights over her husband, and he has rights over her. If we are to discuss these in detail then I think we must first come to terms with our sources. If there are people who do not accept from hadeeth, then we need to focus on this issue first before moving on to other topics.
For a discussion on the position of the Sunnah in Islam, you can continue in the following threads:
For those wanting to know about the rights of the wife and husband, then we already have quite a few articles on the forum discussing both of these - a simple search should find you them Insha'Allaah.
In the name of GOD, Most Gracious and Most Merciful
Do Not Marry Idol Worshipers.
[2:221]. Do not marry idolatresses unless they believe; a believing woman is better than an idolatress, even if you like her. Nor shall you give your daughters in marriage to idolatrous men, unless they believe. A believing man .is better than an idolater, even if you like him. These invite to Hell, while GOD invites to Paradise and forgiveness, as He wills. He clarifies His revelations for the people, that they may take heed.
[4:21]. How could you take it back, after you have been intimate with each other, and they had taken from you a solemn pledge?
Respect for the Father.
[4:22]. Do not marry the women who were previously married to your fathers - existing marriages are exempted and shall not be broken - for it is a gross offense, and an abominable act. .
Incest Forbidden.
[4:23]. Prohibited for you (in marriage) are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, the sisters of your fathers, the sisters of your mothers, the daughters of your brother, the daughters of your sister, your nursing mothers, the girls who nursed from the same woman as you, the mothers of your wives, the daughters of your wives with whom you .have consummated the marriage - if the marriage has not .been consummated, you may marry the daughter. Also prohibited for you are the women who were married to your genetic sons. Also, you shall not be married to two sisters at the same time - but do not break up existing marriages. GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful. .
Mutual Attraction And Dowry Required.
[4:24*]. Also prohibited are the women who are already married, unless they flee their disbelieving husbands who are at war with you.* These are GOD's commandments to you. All other categories are permitted for you in marriage, so long as you pay them their due dowries. You shall maintain your morality, by not committing adultery. Thus, whoever you like among them, you shall pay them the dowry decreed for them. You commit no error by mutually agreeing to any adjustments to the dowry. GOD is Omniscient, Most Wise. .
*4:24 If believing women flee their disbelieving husbands who are at war with the believers, they do not have to obtain a divorce before remarriage. See 60:10.
[4:25]. Those among you who cannot afford to marry free believing women, may marry believing slave women. GOD knows best about your belief, and you are equal to one another, as far as belief is concerned. You shall obtain permission from their guardians before you marry them, and pay them their due dowry equitably. They shall maintain moral behavior, by not committing adultery, or having secret lovers. Once they are freed through marriage, if they .commit adultery, their punishment shall be half of that .for the free women.* Marrying a slave shall be a last .resort for those unable to wait. To be patient is better for you. GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful. .
n the context of the family, the husband is the leader (Qawwam) of the family as defined by Allah (Quran 4:34).
However, the power of this leader, like that of all other Islamic leaders, is bound on the one hand by the Quran and Sunnah, and on the other by Shura or mutual consultation - amruhum shura bainahum (Quran 42:38).
The Muslim family, therefore, like all other Muslim institutions, formal or informal, must be run with mutual consultation.
May Allah guide these women, If my husband was to say im bringing home a new wife id inshaa allah welcome her with open arms , someone to help with the house work
May Allah guide these women, If my husband was to say im bringing home a new wife id inshaa allah welcome her with open arms , someone to help with the house work
I think that waging a war by an existing wife against her husband to prevent him from having a second wife (out of jealousy only) is tantamount to waging a war against God's ordainment. Such a woman as well as the people in general who invent shame in having more than one wife are likely to fall in the category of 'Kafirs', ' Fasiqs' and 'Zalims' as per the verses 44. 45 and 47 of Surah Al- Mayeda.
[QUOTE]that was very useful info sis! mash'allah. fanks 4 sharin it
we need an article on th righteous husband too. caus certain peopl av taken it in th wrong way, if u know wat i mean. an we kinda need 2 sit um down and remind em of ther rights as a wife. and giv em a pat on ther back....know wat i mean?
Asalaam alykumw arahamtullahi wabarakatuh sis
I have posted some articles sometime back please check it inshAllaah
In the Name of Allaah, the Most Merciful, the Bestower of Mercy. By the time! Verily mankind is at loss – except for those who believe and perform righteous deeds, and advise one another towards the truth and advise one another towards patience.’
BOTH HUSBAND N WIFE HAVE RIGHTS over each other, this saying is wrong that islam tells woman not to demand for her rights n just keep fulfiling the righs of her husband, as far as I know husband has no right over her wifes income or wealth she can spend lawfully as she pleases, it upto her whethr shes wants to contributing toward household finances, financial provision is fard on husbands not wives. a wife has the right to demand for the same liestyle shes had at her parents house n cooking is not a frad infact if she had a cook in her house before she got married than she has the right to demand from her husband. its a different matter that a wife is willing to compromise a little to get more reward for her patience INSHALLAh.
u shud luk into how Mohammed (peace be uopn him) used to treat his wives, even though he had so many wives he still liked doing things with his own hands and at times helped his wives too. its not forbidden for husband to help thier wives in household duties, he never used to complain about the way his wives cuked the food and never shouted at them liked men do these days.
ALLAh has given rights to both genders, but unfortunately these days more emphasis is given on the rights of husbands than on the rights of wives. There are a few articles for any iternested to read!!!
I know who is a righteous wife the thing is there aren't any these days.Muslim shave become corrupt.
Brother it is not for you to judge and make statements like these, of course there are problems in the ummah so there are not as many righteous women as in previous times but there are many. The same can be said for the amount of practising brothers around.
Brother it is not for you to judge and make statements like these, of course there are problems in the ummah so there are not as many righteous women as in previous times but there are many. The same can be said for the amount of practising brothers around.
definately the same goes for the brothers.
Sisters have as much difficulties (if not more) when it comes to finding a righteous brother. I can say that for myself!
I have only read a few comments, and decided i dont want to read anymore.
Subhanallah, its no wonder the ummah is in the state it is in..may Allah guide us all on the truth..ameen.
The man in Islam is the maintainer of women. He has to feed her, clothe her, and the list goes on...but he also has his rights....
A hadeeth did come to mind.....(sahih)...If Allah would order any of His creation to bow to other than Him, it would be the woman to her husband....can someone pls find the hadeeth, as my wording is not 100%, but basically this is what it means.
And you say that it is not obligatory to obey the husband, and serve him?
When he works hard all day???...to provide for you, and your children?
I thought this hadeeth would be more than enough to convince anyone.
Another hadeeth....when your husband is pleased with you, Allah is pleased with you....
I would appreciate if anyone can find these hadeeth, and post them.
There are numerous hadeeth on this topic, but we lack knowledge, thats all.
I am a little disappointed in the way some people speak...it almost sounds as though they are arguing against Islam.
Allah has ordered rights for everyone...this is what makes Islam so beautiful.
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taught us has been delivered to us. When examining hadeeth, we rely upon people devoting their entire lives to researching and classifying hadeeth into trustworthy and untrustworthy sources; in fact, there is a whole science of hadeeth in Islam and if we are to study our religion in the correct manner, we must take from both the Qur'an and the Sunnah. This is something which both of them command.
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