She has embraced Islam but her husband is still a kaafir. What should she do? (OP)
She has embraced Islam but her husband is still a kaafir. What should she do?
Question:
What is the ruling about remaining in a marriage when the wife has become a Muslim but her husband is still a kaafir? She has children with him and is afraid that they may go astray and be lost, and she hopes that her husband may be guided to Islam if she stays with him.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
As soon as a woman embraces Islam and her husband refuses to do likewise, the marriage is annulled and it is not permissible for her to live with him. But she should wait out the length of the ‘iddah period. If he embraces Islam, she may go back to him and the previous marriage contract is still counted as valid, but if he does not embrace Islam before the ‘iddah is over, then they are no longer married. If he subsequently embraces Islam and they want to get back together, a new marriage contract must be drawn up. It is not permissible to continue the marriage on the basis of being kind to him.
Majma’ al-Fiqh al-Islami (Islamic Fiqh Council), p. 43.
The children should follow the Muslim parent, so try your best to get custody of them. May Allaah help us and help you by His kindness and mercy.
ekhi, it's not us, this is the way of the deen. You either follow it, or you don't.
Staying with a nonmuslim husband promotes more fitnah. Think about it.
If a woman has to obey her husband and her husband is nonMuslim, what would happen if he asked her to cook pork? came home drunk? if he gambles? wants to have haram intercourse?? What if he doesn't want her to wear hijaab because he doesn't think it looks attractive, or doesn't allow her to pray cuz he'd rather her do something else? What about the kids? Should they be raised Islamically or the way of their father?
These are just a few of the problems that could occur.
We are different from the kaffirs and our way of life through Islam is supposed to portray that, even if we do have some things in common.
If her husband isn't Muslim, how's that going to help her islamically with her faith? They might love each other, yea I get that, but just as Allah says:
fi aman Allah
w'salaam
This is true in some circumstances... but a husband and wife, that are full of love and respect, will not do something of the sort. He will not ask her to do something that is against her belief and way of life, that is wrong of him. That's like saying "Don't let the christian come to the masjid to learn islam, cause he/she might walk in with shoes, or the woman wont wear the hijab" when in turn christians do come to learn and out of respect they take the necessary actions they need to take to be respectible.
As far as proof goes, I haven't had the time to study it fully, so I can't really tell her what to do or not to do, and i'm just being down to earth and looking at the situation here.
Re: She has embraced Islam but her husband is still a kaafir. What should she do?
format_quote Originally Posted by Kidman
This is true in some circumstances... but a husband and wife, that are full of love and respect, will not do something of the sort. He will not ask her to do something that is against her belief and way of life, that is wrong of him. That's like saying "Don't let the christian come to the masjid to learn islam, cause he/she might walk in with shoes, or the woman wont wear the hijab" when in turn christians do come to learn and out of respect they take the necessary actions they need to take to be respectible.
As far as proof goes, I haven't had the time to study it fully, so I can't really tell her what to do or not to do, and i'm just being down to earth and looking at the situation here.
Kidman
brother from the posts of yurs that i have read you are giving your thoughts and opions and what YOU think is right rather then actually refrencing to what the Qu'ran and hadiths say on the situation. I am also intrested and have thought about this question before but I need to know what Islam says not what you think is or isn't right.
Re: She has embraced Islam but her husband is still a kaafir. What should she do?
format_quote Originally Posted by DaNgErOuS MiNdS
brother from the posts of yurs that i have read you are giving your thoughts and opions and what YOU think is right rather then actually refrencing to what the Qu'ran and hadiths say on the situation. I am also intrested and have thought about this question before but I need to know what Islam says not what you think is or isn't right.
True.. but these people are not using Quran or Hadith either. I saw that somebody asked the Sheikh, and the Sheikh answered without using hadith or the Quran... which means made his decision to the best of his judgements to what the rulings of Islam are... And if he cannot provide any "Strong" supporting hadith or Quranic rule on this, you cannot making something Haram that Allah (SVT) or the Prophet didn't make haram.
Re: She has embraced Islam but her husband is still a kaafir. What should she do?
format_quote Originally Posted by Kidman
True.. but these people are not using Quran or Hadith either. I saw that somebody asked the Sheikh, and the Sheikh answered without using hadith or the Quran... which means made his decision to the best of his judgements to what the rulings of Islam are... And if he cannot provide any "Strong" supporting hadith or Quranic rule on this, you cannot making something Haram that Allah (SVT) or the Prophet (saw) didn't make haram.
Kidman
Yes bro I agree but you cant make it halaal something that 'may be' haraam either and the sheikh you mention may be qualified due to his extensive knowlwdge in Quran and hadith to give a fatwa on this topic but we are not, imgine you say something which contradicts the fatwa and someone takes your word for it and later we find that there was evidance for what the shaykh said .
maybe there is evidance we'll just wait and see if anyone can come with anything
Last edited by DaNgErOuS MiNdS; 12-14-2006 at 07:31 PM.
Re: She has embraced Islam but her husband is still a kaafir. What should she do?
Question:
Can a non-muslim man marry a muslim woman?
Answer:
It is absolutely not permissible under any circumstances in Islamic law (shari'a) of Allah, the most esteemed and exhalted, for a non-Muslim to marry a Muslim woman, as per what He has said regarding the marriage of a kafir (unbeliever) to a Muslim woman and vice versa: (interpretation of the meaning).
They are not lawful (wives) for the unbelievers, nor are the unbelievers lawful (husbands) for them... (Al-Mumtahina:10)
And Allah the most esteemed and exhalted has also said (interpretation of the meaning):
Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe...
(Al-Baqara:221)
i.e., it is not ever permissable for someone to marry his Muslim daughter or sister or any Muslim woman for whom he is a guardian to a kafir.
Islam must be exhalted and cannot be subjugated, so how could a Muslim woman be put under the care of a kafir man, when the man is normally naturally in a stronger position? In such a situation he could cause her to corrupt the practice of her religion or force her into subdual by causing her to live a life of oppression with him. He could also prevent her from practicing some of her religious rites. These are among the reasons for the aforementioned ban expressed in the previous ayaat. wallahu a'lam (and Allah is the most knowledgable).
Re: She has embraced Islam but her husband is still a kaafir. What should she do?
I told you, i agree that it is not permissible for a muslim woman to marry a non-muslim man...
But in this situation, the woman already married the man, and a person of the book for that matter. So this is a different situation than somebody that is already muslim getting married. Already, her husband didn't keep her away from the teachings of Islam if she converted while they were together, so being with him is not harming her religion in that aspect.
This is an interesting subject... and i will research it more... but I already know people in this same situation who are doing very together and are still in love and she practices her religion and he practices his, and they respect each other to the full extent, and she is veryyyy educated, more than the common woman i've seen.
Re: She has embraced Islam but her husband is still a kaafir. What should she do?
I am a woman who is married to a non-Christian, and I converted to Christianity after we were married.
I can certainly witness that being married to somebody who doesn't share the same faith is not without it's difficulties, and it requires both partners to be loving and understanding and tolerant and forgiving towards each other ...
But, as Kidman pointed out, these are qualities a good marriage should have anyway.
It is certainly not impossible, and in some ways it has made our relationship stronger and our commitment to each other greater!
Peace
Peace glo
Here I stand.
I can do no other.
May God help me.
Amen.
Come, let us worship and bow down •
and kneel before the Lord our Maker
[Psalm 95]
Re: She has embraced Islam but her husband is still a kaafir. What should she do?
format_quote Originally Posted by Kidman
I told you, i agree that it is not permissible for a muslim woman to marry a non-muslim man...
But in this situation, the woman already married the man, and a person of the book for that matter. So this is a different situation than somebody that is already muslim getting married. Already, her husband didn't keep her away from the teachings of Islam if she converted while they were together, so being with him is not harming her religion in that aspect.
This is an interesting subject... and i will research it more... but I already know people in this same situation who are doing very together and are still in love and she practices her religion and he practices his, and they respect each other to the full extent, and she is veryyyy educated, more than the common woman i've seen.
kidman
but they wern't Islamically married were they?? its like saying can a muslim women and non muslim have a relationship in islam without marrying? . Even muslim male and female cant do that without marrying.
Re: She has embraced Islam but her husband is still a kaafir. What should she do?
format_quote Originally Posted by glo
I am a woman who is married to a non-Christian, and I converted to Christianity after we were married.
I can certainly witness that being married to somebody who doesn't share the same faith is not without it's difficulties, and it requires both partners to be loving and understanding and tolerant and forgiving towards each other ...
But, as Kidman pointed out, these are qualities a good marriage should have anyway.
It is certainly not impossible, and in some ways it has made our relationship stronger and our commitment to each other greater!
Peace
so which religion is your husband Glo?? if you dont mind me asking that it.
because you can be loving and understanding but when its a risk of condracting the religion to do something then religion comes first.
Re: She has embraced Islam but her husband is still a kaafir. What should she do?
Assalamu Alaikum
This is true in some circumstances... but a husband and wife, that are full of love and respect, will not do something of the sort. He will not ask her to do something that is against her belief and way of life, that is wrong of him. That's like saying "Don't let the christian come to the masjid to learn islam, cause he/she might walk in with shoes, or the woman wont wear the hijab" when in turn christians do come to learn and out of respect they take the necessary actions they need to take to be respectible.
Although, being married to him would be against her way of life. I see where you are coming from ekhi and I think the woman should present her religion to her husband to see if he would be interested in converting as well, she should explain to him that "love" is not a valid excuse to stay together but rather he'd have to be Muslim as well. Besides the evidence of not marrying a nonMuslim man, a Muslim woman cannot take him as her protector:
The Believers, men and women, are protectors one of another: they enjoin what is just, and forbid what is evil: they observe regular prayers, practise regular charity, and obey Allah and His Messenger. On them will Allah pour His mercy: for Allah is Exalted in power, Wise.-9:71
O ye who believe! take not the Jews and the Christians for your friends and protectors: They are but friends and protectors to each other. And he amongst you that turns to them (for friendship) is of them. Verily Allah guideth not a people unjust.5:51
Amongst other reasons, they probably would lose some commonalities. It would be difficult to strengthen her iman and Islamic knowledge with a nonMuslim as a husband and no matter what, Allah comes first in one's life despite the "love/respect/lust" she may have for someone else.
The evidence that bro fi has provided above is the word of Allah and it should suffice over anything else inshallah, despite what we take for morals or opinions.
I suggest you take some time and research upon this some more ekhi, inshallah.
She has embraced Islam but her husband is still a kaafir. What should she do?
Question:
-----a quick reply. I read elsewhere that during the time of the Last Prophet (p) , some women accepted Islam & their husbands were not Muslims but marriages were still valid.
A Muslim woman can't marry a non-Muslim but if a non-Muslim man or woman becomes Muslim , then there is no such strict time limit for the spouse .......i will try to find that answer.
The overwhelming majority of Muslim scholars hold the view that if it happens that a non-Muslim woman embraces Islam while her husband remains non-Muslim, she is to leave him and separation should occur.
In this specific case, some Muslim jurists hold the view that she can keep on living with him without having intercourse so long as he does not persecute her and she hopes hat he may embrace Islam one day. Another opinion is that such a woman can remain at her non-Muslim husband’s house while holding all duties and responsibilities so long as she expects his conversion and the conversion of the children.
Those two opinions still go in contrary to the mainstream of Muslim scholars and it’s somehow confined to a specific case, namely when a woman embraces Islam when she is already married to a non-Muslim.
Re: She has embraced Islam but her husband is still a kaafir. What should she do?
format_quote Originally Posted by DaNgErOuS MiNdS
so which religion is your husband Glo?? if you dont mind me asking that it.
because you can be loving and understanding but when its a risk of condracting the religion to do something then religion comes first.
My husband is affiliated to no religion, he is an atheist.
You are right. There is more to it than being loving and understanding - I also have to be able to stand firm in my faith when required. I am probably more assertive and less pliable now than I used to be in my marriage.
It is a balancing act between being obedient to my husband and obedient to God.
If my husband asked me to do something, which is against my beliefs and God's teachings, then God's commands have to come first!
That's where our marriage needs my husband to be equally loving and understanding - to let me do things, which he may not necessarily agree with!
Without that mutual love and commitment our marriage probably wouldn't last ...
Peace
Peace glo
Here I stand.
I can do no other.
May God help me.
Amen.
Come, let us worship and bow down •
and kneel before the Lord our Maker
[Psalm 95]
Re: She has embraced Islam but her husband is still a kaafir. What should she do?
Kidman, no offense intended but you'll have to bring your evidence forward insha'Allaah :
#18. Do not say "Islam says X" unless your position is based upon sound evidence - which means the Qur'an and the Sunnah. Always cite your sources. If quoting the Qur'an, give soorah (chapter) and ayah (verse) number. For ahadeeth, you must the name of the collection, volume/book number and hadeeth number. Unless you quoting from an agreed-upon authenthic collection (i.e. Bukharee, Muslim) you must also provide authenthic information.
Re: She has embraced Islam but her husband is still a kaafir. What should she do?
format_quote Originally Posted by Muslim Woman
In this specific case, some Muslim jurists hold the view that she can keep on living with him without having intercourse so long as he does not persecute her and she hopes hat he may embrace Islam one day.
Am I reading this right, that the converted woman is to deny her husband sexual contact until he agrees to convert to Islam???
Peace glo
Here I stand.
I can do no other.
May God help me.
Amen.
Come, let us worship and bow down •
and kneel before the Lord our Maker
[Psalm 95]
Re: She has embraced Islam but her husband is still a kaafir. What should she do?
I think its pretty clear, a sister is not allowed to marry a man unless he is Muslim, i.e. meaning that the sister's marriage is invalid, so everytime they do something its like fornication. That is a part we agree on.
But what we disagree on is whether a person who had a contract before Islam, when they enter Islam whether that contract, which is in itself against the rules of Islam, a sister being with a non-Muslim, would still be valid.
Common sense tells us alone that it would not be, if something is haram but someone does not know, then when they are told are they still allowed to hang onto doing it. If someone had a pub, then they reverted to Islam, would they still be allowed to keep the pub, I wonder, a clear example is that of the man which had 10 wives, when he became Muslim was he allowed to keep all of them? Nope, why not, because that would be breaking the rules of 'marry 2 3 or 4' no more than that, so the man had to conform to Islam, thus, since Islam does not allow a Muslim sister to marry a non Muslim, then also if someone comes into Islam they should conform to the teachings.
What ever an individual sister does that is her choice, but the above is clear of what should happen.
The path is long but I hope we meet,
After the grave and the Day, in paradise in bliss upon a reclined seat.
A traveler traveling - travelled from shirk to tawheed,
If I'm remembered for anything - let it be the Mercy I seek.
Re: She has embraced Islam but her husband is still a kaafir. What should she do?
Ya, and I also heard of this situation to a woman during the time of the Prophet, and she had to get a divorce.
So, I guess i'm wrong, and i'm speaking out of my own personal view.
But look at it, do you think the husband and kids would be more keen to becoming muslims if the mother divorces the husband (who is a very good man to let his wife make decisions on her own and doesn't influence her mind or anything of the sort), so divorces the husband and walks out on the family basically, and says "Islam says I can't be with you, you are a kaffir to me now"
Re: She has embraced Islam but her husband is still a kaafir. What should she do?
format_quote Originally Posted by ManchesterFolk
And why are men in the same position not forced to leave there true love?
Nearly in every culture, the man is not forced by his wife to give up his faith or duties towards his religion. For instance a man doesn't need to wear niqaab, like the woman may. The non muslim husband may have asked his wife to remove it out of embarrasment/shame, whereas if she has a muslim husband - he will encourage her.
A muslim man doesn't have intercourse with his wife if she is in her menses, in another culture - the husband may force her to have intercourse, even though it isn't permitted for this to take place.
It is the muslims duty to give a portion of his/her wealth to the poor (zakaah) - if her husband is non muslim, he may not allow her and due to that, she isn't keeping her duty to Allaah Almighty. Whereas if she was married to a muslim man, he may even pay on her behalf, or atleast not stop her from keeping her duty to Allaah. And Allaah Almighty knows best.
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We'll make you dizzy 
. Even muslim male and female cant do that without marrying.
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